A former Navy chaplain found himself in over his head this week when he went on an online talk show and declared he could exorcise homosexuality out of anyone who was willing—including leading gay activist Wayne Besen.
Gordon Klingenschmitt, founder of The Pray In Jesus Name Project, made his claim on Tuesday’s episode of The David Pakman Show, where he revealed he once “healed” a lesbian of her wanton ways.
Fortunately Truth Wins Out‘s Wayne Besen was there to drop some knowledge, telling the reverend that gay people “are fine just the way they are.”
He added that those who turn to snake-oil salesmen like Klingenschmitt “come to me afterwards to pick up the pieces of their shattered lives.”
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Pakman, who leans left, asked Klingenschmitt if he could “cure” someone like Besen, to which the faith healer said, “Wayne would have to repent and he would have to consent… It’s an act of his free will to contract with the devil, and it can also be an act of his free will to renounce the devil.”
This isn’t Klingenschmitt’s first foray into batshit crazy homophobia: He previous told Pakman that allowing gays to serve openly in the Armed Forces would lead to the draft being reinstated because of a “mass exodus of Christians leaving the military.” More recently, Klingenschmitt, claimed LGBT people secrete evil spirits that infect animals.
And the countdown to Reverend Klingenschmitt being spotted at the local cruising grounds starts…. now.
UPDATE: Though Klingenschmitt was court-martialed in 2006 for disobeying orders, his discharge from the Navy was categorized as honorable.
Daez
I love it when bat shit crazy people have to turn to religion because actual reputable science kicks them to the curve. Now, being gay is an episode of demonic possession because it was debunked as a mental disease?
Seriously, if this was not done in the name of religion, the guy would be locked up for the safety of the public.
Chad
Some people believe that when “an evil spirit” leaves the body it has to enter another one. I will bet Clinginshitt gets caught then claims it was an evil spirit that had left someones body and entered his.
Also you left out the best part of the Interview Where Klingenshmitt quoted a bogus “scietific report” that people could change thier sexuality then Besen quickly debunked that argument saying the man that reported his findings had retracted his clains. Whatch the full clip on the David Pakman show, it sad but funny.
hf2hvit
Yeah…he probably exorcises it out by injecting his penis into the buttocks of the “possessed”!
lagunaflipsta
Exorcise? a BJ?
Cam
So any bets on how long before this guy gets caught with a male prostitute?
Belize
I wouldn’t be surprised if Klingenschmitt can actually “exorcise” homosexuality out of people by being such a BAD lay that people would not want to have sex (period) with anyone. 🙂
jack jett
I always use Scott’s Super Absorbant paper towels when secreting evil spirits. They are currently on sale at Target.
B
I don’t think the preacher is really a homophobe – he said homosexuality was hardly the most serious sin, which makes him more moderate than his peers. A more apt phrase to describe him is “complete and utter idiot.”
Besen came across as overwrought. What would happen with this particular preacher’s “pray away the gay” exorcisms is that someone meanders in with homophobic relatives in tow. The preacher goes though the standard Christian repentance/forgiveness spiel, which is short and (if the wording he used is accurate) pretty generic – renouncing a non-existent devil and equally non-existent assistant devils called demons. Then the homophobic relatives squeal, “Praise Jesus,” and welcome their somewhat ostracized relative back into their family, with no more questions asked no matter how obvious it is that this relative is still gay, as any questions would be taken as questioning the Almighty. Obviously the gay guy ends up better off – for the cost of a few minutes of listening to some nonsense, his relatives stop bothering him and start treating him like anyone else.
I’m kind of hoping for an exorcism over the weekend. While this preacher wouldn’t get anywhere, the guy I have in mind is hot enough to get demons squirting out of me in all directions! (OK – it’s an old joke ….)
Bipolar Bear
If you’re actually in that situation, B, you’re not necessarily in the mental headspace to see it as just “listening to some nonsense”. The family has not changed their view at all, in fact, when it’s discovered that their relative is just as gay the rejection will be even worse because they’re so “evil” even an exorcism couldn’t cure them.
A friend of mine went to a Christian boarding school in South Africa and was caught by a teacher for the heinous crime of engaging in nerdy role-playing games with some friends. The principal tried to exorcise them: http://bipolarbear.co.nz/2012/07/05/my-school-tried-to-exorcise-me/
Mk Ultra
Remember the saying ” If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit”
Well, Klingenschmitt doesn’t have any more snake oil to sell. So now it’s onto magic and voodoo.
His slogan” Klingenschmitt put a spell on you! And now, you’re straight!”
jarvisbearcub
This is unfair, because he knows that breaking our devil contracts is really hard.
When I contracted with the devil to become gay, there were 4 clauses that said I owed over $500 dollars total for breaking contract. PLUS I would have to give back my limited edition copy of Ta-Dah by Scissor Sisters to the cashier at the front gates of Hell just to go back to straight.
So it’s a really hard thing to do.
B
No. 9 · Bipolar Bear wrote, “If you’re actually in that situation, B, you’re not necessarily in the mental headspace to see it as just “listening to some nonsense”. The family has not changed their view at all, in fact, when it’s discovered that their relative is just as gay the rejection will be even worse because they’re so “evil” even an exorcism couldn’t cure them.”
Oh, I’m hardly in that situation (see the joke at the end of that comment as an indication). What I was describing was basically a psychological effect called denial.
Also, even if the exorcism didn’t work, all the gay church member has to do is “repent” again. In these churches, people apparently do a lot of repeated repenting. It’s why their ministers don’t really qualify as quacks: “How do you tell a quack from a professional?” Answer: “If he’s a quack, he’ll take your money. If he’s a professional, he’ll make sure you come back for another visit.”
So, every time this hypothetical gay parishioner gets caught “backsliding”, all he has to to is to say that the devil caught him again and sign up at church for another cosmic lube job. The trick is to look contrite and keep a straight face. See the following video clip (from an old film) for an example of actors keeping a straight face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvQ-zJc_u54&feature=related
Larry
I hate it when every homophobic nut job does something insane then all the gay people talk about how we will see him at the bar!!! do you want them to be gay???? I sure as shit don’t…can’t they just be crazy gay haters? do we always have to insist they are closeted fags???
sheena
old people are so ignorant….i mean OLD CHRISTIANS LOL
hf2hvit
@Larry: DORK
Chris-MI
@Larry: Sometimes a nut is just a nut, but it does say something about his head space when he insists that a normal biological variant is not only a sin but also demon possession but real crimes like stealing are just ordinary character flaws.
If he was exorcising kleptomaniacs, I’d say he was just a nutcase, but something about teh gahz seems to make his brain explode.
Doodie
Gay Demons can possess animals according to a Navy Chaplain? This video might be the most entertaining video of a gay demon be “exorcised”. The one featured on Tyra Banks show was alright…..but not nearly as epic as this poorly dressed man. I think A real gay demon would never allow his victim to leave the house wearing this outfit.
http://doodiepants.com/2012/08/04/gay-demon-exorcisms-and-possessed-animals/
Dumdum
I would sooner believe in Fairies and Elves than Devils and Demons. They have been around longer and if biblical art is any indication of what these fictitious creatures look like. Aside from the giant curved penises they are as ugly as the creepy chaplain. Oh yea, Satyrs and Centaurs are way hotter as well.