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RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: In The Event Of Apocalypse, You Best Bring It

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Season Four of RuPaul’s Drag Race is here! Thirteen queens are competing for the title of America’s Next Drag Superstar and, based on the intro montage, it seems to involve… a wet T-shirt contest? Well, may the best woman win.

We open on our beloved workroom: It’s silent, not yet filled with fierceness or synthetic boobies. One by one, the girls enter and introduce themselves. The first episode is always such a whirlwind—it’s tough to keep up with everyone in and out of makeup. Let’s start here:

  1. Willam is a blonde, pretty boy who brags about being an “ac-tor” (she adds the extra syllable so her massive ego can fit).
  2. Lashauwn Beyond said she’s “the main attraction for the circus.” With her giant ring of hair and a gold, studded body suit… I wouldn’t disagree.
  3. Jiggly Caliente is a plus-sized queen from Queens who wins the award for Best Drag Name Inspired by a Pokémon.
  4. Phi Phi O’Hara is brunette pretty boy, but we didn’t learn much about him because Willam kept talking.
  5. Madame LaQueer is our first Puerto Rican—WILLAM NEEDS ATTENTION! JOKE! LAUGH! WILLAM! Sorry, this girl couldn’t get a word in with Willam around.
  6. Despite her name, Milan is from New York. She wore a zebra pantsuit, and is trying sooo hard.
  7. Alisa Summers? Proud of her titties.
  8. Dida Ritz stood out because she wore a blazer. I’m not sure if that’s a good way to stand out.
  9. The Princess lacks hair but makes up for it in tattoos.
  10. Kenya Michaels is not from Kenya; she’s from Puerto Rico and packs a lot of booty dance for such smallness.
  11. Chad Michaels came in looking so much like Cher that Cher sued her for copyright infringement.
  12. Sharon Needles wins for Best Pun Name (obvi), and described herself as “beautiful, spooky, and stupid.” I love her so much (plus, her introduction video was hysterical).
  13. Latrice Royale (above) is “chunky yet funky.” Done. Dying. Thank you. This is why we own televisions.
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By:           Jason Sweeten
On:           Jan 31, 2012
Tagged: , , ,

  • 23 Comments
    • jakeo
      jakeo

      This is the reason why I hate LOGO channel. All they ever show is that RuPaul drag race show. AS IF BEING GAY IS ALL ABOUT BEING A TRANSVESTITE OR WHATEVER. No wonder the str8s think we are all that way.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 1:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Derek
      Derek

      Jakeo you dude are ignorant and just plain stupid in so many ways…

      Jan 31, 2012 at 2:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      Zombie drag queens were inspired. Great start to the 4th season.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 2:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      Sure are a lot of obese people!
      I am not PC enough to call them “Plus sized”. They are over fat – obese… dangerously so.
      I don’t think I can watch a whole season of Ru Paul’s gainers.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 3:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DenverBarbie
      DenverBarbie

      Willam was so funny in Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives and she’s looking prettier on RPDR4, which makes it a real shame that she is proving to be the most grating and unlikable character on the show.
      And…
      Here’s to hoping there’s some punk rock kiki blooming between The Princess and Sharon Needles! Not only is “You’re the type of guy I go for, I like the whole meth thing” the best come on ever, but RuPaul’s Drag Race is long overdue for some Real World-styled, subtitled, breathy, night vision cam shots. Just sayin’.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 3:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RomanHans
      RomanHans

      RuPaul’s Drag Race is easily one of the best TV shows around. It’s funny, it’s touching, and it’s blissfully diverse. It consistently amazes me how men in makeup and lady frocks are the most honest, most vulnerable, most thoughtful people on television today.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 4:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • charlie_jack
      charlie_jack

      AAArrrrggghhhh no UK broadcaster has this show – where can I watch it- none of the download links ive found work

      Jan 31, 2012 at 6:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CryanaMoss
      CryanaMoss

      This season, these girls got TEEF! Yes, TEEF! not teeth. Woo!

      Jan 31, 2012 at 6:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike UK
      Mike UK

      @charlie_jack: it’s usually on one of SKY channels, I think E4 picked up the last series.

      Jan 31, 2012 at 7:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • vanfanusa
      vanfanusa

      @jakeo: Why in hell do you care what the str8s think about us?

      Jan 31, 2012 at 7:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • willam
      willam

      If you like my fan page, you can call me an asshole there too ;)

      WILLAM

      Jan 31, 2012 at 8:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AedanRoberts
      AedanRoberts

      There was a lot of Jiggly love in that review. Gotta say- from a personal viewpoint- he was right up there with Willam as one of the more unbearable, obnoxious and overblown ego-filled of the lot. Though that may be because I saw what they showed of him in the untucked.

      Also from a shallow, visual perspective- her mouth is horrifying. Those teeth saw WAY too much sugar and not nearly enough toothpaste. It’s somewhat nightmarish.

      One thing I can agree with, however? Sharon Needles rocks and I’m rooting for her.

      Feb 1, 2012 at 1:40 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert Rumsey
      Robert Rumsey

      I thought Willam was hilarious AND smart. Last year Raja was judged by the other “boogers” for having a career before RuPauls Drag Race. PhiPhi was defensive from the jump. Not all drag queens need to be the same. Some queens lip synch and do pageants and other act on t.v. and film.

      Feb 1, 2012 at 4:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Drake
      Drake

      I Love Sharon Needles. I’m definitely rooting for her. I just hope she can show some variety while still keeping that off-kilter style. I’d hate to see her be a one-trick pony.

      What I don’t understand is why Phi Phi was not in the top 3. She was totally channeling some mad-max in that outfit. I like the Princess, but her outfit was bland and boring she shouldn’t have been in the top 3.

      I really wanted Jiggly to go home up until the actual lip-sync. Then she turned it out. I don’t think she’s going to last long though.

      Lets face it Willum will be there til nearly the end. If for no other reason than because she’s the biggest shit-stirrer in the group.

      I’d like to see them pull a South-Park “OMG THEY KILLED SHANGELA!” Thing. Every episode she tries to get back in the competition, and they kill her off in entertaining ways.

      Feb 1, 2012 at 1:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brandon H
      Brandon H

      /begin queenout

      I thought Phi Phi and the one who went home, uhh whats her name, were pretty hot out of drag. And The Princess didn’t look bad either. Phi Phi came off as INCREDIBLY insecure. She needed to just STFU and let Wiliam be his self-absorbed self.

      But seriously, there are some hot messes on the show this season, on top of the fucked up grills. And Wiliam, you need to work on that 5 o’clock shadow grrr.

      /end queenout

      Feb 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Keith
      Keith

      I was disappointed in the “Lip Synch for Your Life” song selection. Being that Elvira was the guest judge, they should have had to lip synch to her song “Here I Am” from her film “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark” or one of her many other songs.

      Feb 1, 2012 at 2:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Keith
      Keith

      I was disappointed in the “Lip Synch for Your Life” song selection. Being that (my idol) Elvira was the guest judge, they should have had to lip synch to her song “Here I Am” from her film “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark” or one of her many other songs.

      Feb 1, 2012 at 2:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AdamA
      AdamA

      @jakeo: I’d explain to you how an LGBT channel can be a lot of things besides a queer ambassador to the straight world. Instead, I’ll just tell you that you’re a bigger cliché than a drag queen could EVER be.

      Feb 1, 2012 at 6:28 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • willam
      willam

      @DenverBarbie: i’ll do better. when i get shy (which i am) i try to use humor…and sometimes when i try to use humor, others don’t find it funny.
      i hope i’ll do something this season to make you smile because i was there truly only to entertain and have fun

      Feb 1, 2012 at 8:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TASTEY GOODIES
      TASTEY GOODIES

      The 1st episode 2 S4 was very clever and inventive. I have 2 say, though, S2 and S3 had more heathers. I will continue 2 watch RPDR cuz i lurv the show. Ru-ru rox!

      Feb 2, 2012 at 12:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ScaryRussianHeather
      ScaryRussianHeather

      @willam:

      Willam interviewed it was just another gig. Just like DJ. Same problem covering his beard, too. After the LSFYL his paint had melted off. Mercenary amateur. Insulting RuPaul’s lifetime as a showgirl was brilliant, too.

      Feb 2, 2012 at 1:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Karanis
      Karanis

      @Drake: They actually did do the “They killed Shangela” thing. After the contestants grabbed their materials from the drag queen zombies, they zombies then hoarded above Shangela, who cried out “Hallelu! Hallelu!” as they subsequently ‘devoured’ her.

      Also, Sharon Needles is amazing. She’s also sometimes pretty crazy but always original

      Feb 3, 2012 at 3:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Karanis
      Karanis

      @ScaryRussianHeather: The contestants on the show basically had to work 14-hour days and were given almost no time to get a proper face on. The show was also filmed in a non-air-conditioned studio in the summertime in LA, so everybody’s face was sweaty and melting by the end of a lot of episodes. That’s what you get when you work with a union, though. They did not treat those girls too well.

      Feb 3, 2012 at 3:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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