Match One: L.A’s Finest vs. The Bitter Betties
The match sees Phi Phi and Lashauwn wrestling against Latreese and Kenya. The plot for their wrestle-drama? Phi Phi accidentally lets Kenya use some of her hair product, which causes Kenya’s hair to explode into a massive hairball. Fight! Fight! Fight!
During their match, most of the combat involves makeup brushes or powder puffs, and Kenya jumps around like a spider monkey. Just like the WWE, right?
For her team’s intro, Jiggly throws furniture and yells at Willam and Dida Ritz. The Princess gives a dramatic… stare. Their wresting lacks any of makeup-brush weapons and The Princess gets knocked down after one kick. Oh, and Willam loses her shorts at the end.
Match Three: The Knockouts vs. The Bitch Kickers
Their intro scene is all about Sharron and Milan scratching themselves because Chad and LaQueer banged their boyfriends and gave them a bad case of… pubic itch? Not my favorite type of joke, but in the rink Sharron K.O.s LaQueer, by calling her “Kirstie Alley before Dancing With the Stars!” I have to say, LaQueer’s monster-on-a-chain look made this devilishly perfect.
With the wrestling over, the girls prep for the main stage. Jiggly stirs up drama because she isn’t sure about The Princess’s performance. Lashauwn and Latreese continue chatting (do these two ever separate?). LaQueer reveals that she isn’t close to her family, and Sharron drops a comforting line, “We’re selfish, vain, creatures of beauty. And isn’t it bizarre how we make the best friends in the world?”
I full expect to see that line on drag-queen birthday cards by the spring..