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Santorum On Bowling The Heterosexual Way: “Friends Don’t Let Friends Use Pink Balls”

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This ball will make you GAY. And maybe Asian, too.

Santorum is the gift that keeps on giving of Republican presidential candidates.

First, he gave Dan Savage the honor of Google-bombing him.

Then, he gave us countless opportunities to make fun of his poopy nickname, including a poster that looked like it was written in Santorum.

And now, he gives us Pink-Bowling-Ball-gate.

While bowling at some dumb photo op in La Crosse, Wisconsin, Santorum told a young man next to him: “You’re not gonna use the pink ball. We’re not gonna let you do that. Not on camera.”

Santorum added, “Friends don’t let friends use pink balls.”

Probably because pink balls turn you GAY, obviously. Let’s take a look through the types of pink balls that you and your heterosexual friends must avoid in order to not catch the gay.

Click through for some homosexuality-inducing pink balls.

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By:           Evan Mulvihill
On:           Mar 29, 2012
Tagged: , , ,

  • 18 Comments
    • 1equalityUSA
      1equalityUSA

      Off camera? This closet case has issues.

      Mar 29, 2012 at 2:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kristopher
      Kristopher

      If pink balls turn you gay than what does a yellow ball turn you? Or a red ball? Or a BLUE BALL? What color ball is safe for my children to use???

      Mar 29, 2012 at 3:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1equalityUSA
      1equalityUSA

      Forced pelvic exams to root out unpopular balls will be on the Republican agenda. “We’re not gonna let you do that.” should be the repub’s slogan for this century.

      Mar 29, 2012 at 3:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ted
      Ted

      Santorum and lick my pink balls.

      Mar 29, 2012 at 3:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stupid
      Stupid

      Yeah, I’ve seen Santorum all over pink balls, many times. What’s the deal? (Seriously, pink-phobia in a grown man is ridiculous … and a clear sign of “she doth protest to much, girlfriend.”)

      Mar 29, 2012 at 3:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Belize
      Belize

      “Friends don’t let friends use pink balls.”

      Because they’d want it for themselves?

      Mar 29, 2012 at 4:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GreatGatsby2011
      GreatGatsby2011

      @Kristopher: @Belize: Thanks for the chuckle. Those were great.

      Mar 29, 2012 at 4:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gorbeh
      Gorbeh

      I see 6 pink balls in the ball pit! :O

      Mar 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 1 · 1equalityUSA wrote, “Off camera? This closet case has issues.” The issue is more likely the stress of all the media scrutiny. Santorum probably figured that if he was seen in a game with a pink bowling ball, it would be filmed and picked up in a series of ads or jokes making fun of him. What’s not clear is whether he realizes why so many people are making fun of him – the idiotic things he says.

      Mar 29, 2012 at 7:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AEH
      AEH

      That’s coming from a guy who believes tampons lead girls down the path of evil…

      Mar 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 10 · AEH wrote, “That’s coming from a guy who believes tampons lead girls down the path of evil…”

      They had a sex expert on NPR today talking about Santorum’s “position” on pornography. The expert’s opinion was that either Santorum is incredibly uninformed or he is lying through his teeth – the available data are not consistent with Santorum’s stated opinion.

      The problem (for Santorum) is that when the availability of porn in the U.S. substantially increased, the yaerly cases of rape, etc. started to drop. Santorum’s opinion suggest that those cases should have increased instead.

      Mar 29, 2012 at 9:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • doug105
      doug105

      @B: You don’t think a little thing like the truth will stop any bible thumper do you, if it did there would be no absence based sex ed and the U.S. would have a lower teen pregnancy and std rate.

      Mar 30, 2012 at 12:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Auntie Mame
      Auntie Mame

      Why can’t gay men behave like normal men? And pornography is gross. Put some clothes on.

      Mar 30, 2012 at 6:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bailey
      Bailey

      santorum can go lick my taint!

      Mar 30, 2012 at 7:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1equalityUSA
      1equalityUSA

      The repubs are fighting birth control, yet Viagra is covered. This ninny, Santorum, says if a woman is raped, she should, “Make the best of the situation and consider this baby a gift from God.” He’s such a whack-job that he loses his cool over a reporter misquoting him. Imagine a man with this demeanor in charge of Nukes.

      Mar 30, 2012 at 8:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 12 · doug105 wrote, “@B: You don’t think a little thing like the truth will stop any bible thumper do you,..”

      Hey, J. Random Bible Thumper doesn’t get the phrase “lying through his teeth” used on National Public Radio as the only alternative to utter ignorance! You have to really do something to get that sort of reaction.

      Mar 30, 2012 at 2:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Larry
      Larry

      alley balls are colored by weight and pink is a lighter ball and a better fit for a young person. santorum is a friggin moron but that is no surprise

      Mar 30, 2012 at 2:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Will
      Will

      I could only find three pink balls without my glasses on. Does that mean I have to be demoted to bisexual?

      Mar 31, 2012 at 5:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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