The Onion, our go-to source for news so real it’s fake, had a story that had us chuckling with recognition:
With the intention of letting loose, hitting the town, and maybe even “getting into a little mischief,” Christine Fehrman, 33, and her closest gay friend Paul Daganais, 28, have embarked on yet another one of their special little adventures, sources confirmed Thursday.
The latest in an ongoing series of spirited, anything-goes escapades, the day reportedly began with its usual hour of preparation at Fehrman’s apartment, where the pair cycled through dozens of potential wardrobe combinations, covering the floor with clothing and accessories Daganais emphatically rejected as “not fun enough.”
“After the amazing time we had last weekend eating crostini and browsing through Forever 21 together, I was just counting down the minutes until Paul’s car pulled up and we could do it all over again,” said Fehrman, adding that, as usual, she planned to document every step of the ever-so-precious trip with Instagram. “He’s one of my only guy friends I can just forget about everything and be crazy spontaneous with.”
“One minute we could be eating lobster rolls at a food truck, and the next we’re kicking off our shoes for barefoot cartwheels in the park,” she continued. “You just never know where the day is going to go with Paul.”
According to sources, in what has become a standard ritual during their carefree little excursions, the two got in the mood en route to their first engagement of the day—brunch at a Peruvian café Fehrman saw advertised on Groupon—by rolling down the windows of Daganais’ car and unself-consciously singing along to a playlist that alternated between Adele and Florence + the Machine.
Apparently it wasn’t all fun and games: “Sources estimated that over the six hours they spent together, Daganais playfully called Fehrman a bitch 9 times, while she called him a slut 14 times—a tally believed to be about average for one of their little Saturday to-dos.”
No word yet on whether the feuding friends have reached some kind of détente. We’ll keep you posted.