“You’re not concerned for his health, REAM, you’re concerned for your sex life and what the death of your attraction to him means for this relationship. So give it to him straight: You’re not attracted to fatties, which is why you pursued him four years ago, and his weight gain is killing your sex life and threatening the survival of your relationship. If he values this relationship, he’ll get his ass off the couch.
And now a note to the infuriated fatsophere: I’m not saying that REAM’s boyfriend is unattractive because he’s heavier, or that heavy people aren’t or can’t be attractive, or that we all must forever maintain our “first-date weight” over the multidecade course of relationship/marriage/whatever. But to destroy a large part of what attracted someone to you early in a relationshipâ€”whether actively or through neglectâ€”is to take your partner for granted in a way that’s not okay. And that goes for a tight-bodied fag who parks his ass on the couch because he’s got a boyfriend nowâ€”so, hey, why bother with the gym?â€”and the BBW who wastes away to skin and bones after she lands an admirer.” — Sexpert and Stranger columnist Dan Savage, replying to a 22-year-old gay guy in a LTR with a boyfriend who’s let himself go.