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CLOSET CASE

WATCH: It’s 1998 In Hailey Rowe’s World. Watch “My Boyfriend Is Gay”


Singer Hailey Rowe (we haven’t heard of her either) has just released a new single, “My Boyfriend Is Gay,” in which she discovers—horror of horrors—that her beloved is actually a pole smoker of some repute.

Rowe’s voice isn’t terrible, and the music has a Rebecca Black-style inoffensiveness to it, but we really have to ask if Rowe is up to date on the sexual zeitgeist of 2013.

Nowadays, if a young citified woman’s man likes other men, she probably knows—and likes to watch. She’s certainly not tipped off because  “His favorite color was turquoise and he always drank chocolatinis through a straw.”

Even Sex and the City was a little more sophisticated than that.

Here are some other cringe-worthy lyrics:

Maybe it was his Cher playlist
Or his craving to be A-list
Or how he knew the words to every Britney song (oh baby, baby)

Perhaps it was that poodle
Or those cheese-filled strudels
He used to dip into his Frappuccino grande

A Frappuccino? Do you know how many fat grams are in those things? No gay man, down-low or otherwise would order one.

Rowe’s overall view seems to be, “My guy did something other than swill beer and give me three minutes of missionary—I think he’s a fag!”

Let’s add this song to the list of things straight people should never say.

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Feb 8, 2013
Tagged: , , , , , ,
  • 6 Comments
    • RAC1
      RAC1

      This girl reminds me of the straight girl visiting NYC from the midwest who comes to a gay bar for a “crazy night:” she’s loud, offensive, and not as cute as she thinks she is.

      Video is possibly worth it, just to see the boys dominate the gays VS girls dance sequence.

      Feb 8, 2013 at 9:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Modernliving3
      Modernliving3

      The last scene with boyfriends on sofa makes it less patronizing but the song itself is kinda homophobic.
      It’s a very dated (Will & Grace era) theme.

      Feb 9, 2013 at 10:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bee Gaga
      Bee Gaga

      @Modernliving3: How is it homophobic?

      Feb 9, 2013 at 2:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • syam1812
      syam1812

      It’s a sweet sugary pop song and you can’t really expect it to move outside of the stereotypical realm. I think that for what it is, you can’t really fault it for being slightly patronizing. Almost every Pop song makes sweeping generalizations towards someone. However in terms of ” Gay guy dating a girl who should be able to tell by certain stereotypes,” she isn’t that far off from half of my exes in high school.

      Feb 9, 2013 at 6:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Connor
      Connor

      Oi! I love me a good Frappuccino!

      Feb 10, 2013 at 9:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • oobles
      oobles

      Get OVER yourselves! It’s a pop song telling a slight but amusing story about these two fictional characters. It’s not defining gayness, for goodness sake. Homophobic???? Just LISTEN to yourselves. The joke is clearly on her anyway! Go to Russia if you want to experience some homophobia to complain about!! I note that Queerty is not blanching at using cclichéd (and some may say oppressive) images and ads for Stols Guy finalists… so just stop it this instance and enjoy this song for what it is!!

      Sep 15, 2013 at 11:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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