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WATCH: Why You Don’t Want Anderson Cooper Giving You A “Hand”

Andy Cohen’s Watch What Happens Live Exclamation Point was surprisingly not so self-centered last night. Cohen pitted Camille Grammer and Anderson Cooper against each another in a quiz segment. Here’s what we learned about the Coop:

1. He was destined to become family. In 1976, Gloria Vanderbilt dressed 9-year-old Anderson in bitchin’ yellow riding pants and stripper-worthy knee-length leather boots. Girlfriend looked fierce.

2. His mom wrote cheesy romance novels. Cohen embarrassed Cooper by reading off a particularly treacly sentence: “You carried me naked to the center of the fountain shell, placing me precisely where the water, warmed by the sun, would trickle down between my legs, finding the spot to please.” Gag!

3. He gives terrible handjobs. See his reluctant shake-weight session at the 3:20 mark.

 

By:           Evan Mulvihill
On:           Jan 10, 2012
Tagged: , , , , , ,

  • 24 Comments
    • WillBFair
      WillBFair

      Don’t you ever again say one word against the silver fox. He’s got it all: the biceps, the handsome mug, and the girlish giggle. And anyway, hand jobs are so ten minutes ago.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mrs. Robinson
      Mrs. Robinson

      Lordy. He looks about a hundred years old in those glasses and tennis shoes.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Austin - not That Austin
      Austin - not That Austin

      I saw the show, and for someone in the public eye,
      and obviously the center of so much attention,
      he was suprisingly awkward in his interpersonal reactions.
      I guess he’s more comfortable hiding behind asking the questions,
      than being “on the spot” to come up with answers.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 1:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      @Austin – not That Austin: Which is why I watched his daytime talk show for two episodes and switched back to “The Talk.” When Julie Chen looks more relatable, something’s wrong, honey boo boo.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim
      Jim

      Did he just say the photo was taken in 1890?

      Jan 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Zee
      Zee

      Anderson probably knew that he used the shake weight the way it was supposed to be used, it would be all over the internet with salacious jokes about him jerking off or giving a hand job. He may have deliberately held back. Anderson has said many times himself that he’s socially awkward, I actually think that’s part of his appeal.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jennifer
      Jennifer

      Anderson is so likable, I’m a huge fan.
      Also, anybody who posts here about his sexuality (I know people eventually will) needs to back off. He’s a journalist who goes on location to places around the world where being gay is punishable by death. Rachel Maddow doesn’t do that, so don’t compare her to him. Anderson can’t publicly comment on it. Otherwise, certain governments probably wouldn’t even let him into their country to report.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Zeus
      Zeus

      He is less attractive than I thought he was.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David Ehrenstein
      David Ehrenstein

      @Jennifer: You mean other governments don’t have cable? In what alternate universe?

      Jan 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kurt
      Kurt

      He’s a total closet queen, he doesn’t deserve our respect or admiration at all.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 6:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChrisC
      ChrisC

      @Jennifer: Not to mentiona that in addition that Rachel Maddow doesn’t go overseas, look at all the shit she does get for being openly Gay. Anderson is making the right move.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 7:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Derek
      Derek

      Wasn’t Anderson Cooper a journalist once?

      Jan 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alan Brickman
      Alan Brickman

      Glass Closet Cases don’t age well…..

      Jan 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      Anderson Cooper looks older than his 100 year old “mummy”, Gloria Vanderbilt.

      Jan 10, 2012 at 9:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chuck
      Chuck

      Anderson really missed his moment where coming out would have meant anything. I just find him tedious now.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 12:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JoeyO'H
      JoeyO'H

      @WillBFair:

      Handjobs are ten minutes ago because that’s about what they take.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 10:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ewe
      ewe

      @Chuck: He is out. Just because he doesn’t say the word to strangers and satisfy your quirky demands doesn’t justify your hatred. Btw: how does it feel to be on the receiving end of your own medicine?

      Jan 11, 2012 at 11:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      @Chuck: As do must people outside Andy Cohen’s clubhouse.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 12:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ron
      ron

      Andy Cohen’s Clubhouse reminds me so much of the old Robin Byrd Show.

      Jan 11, 2012 at 1:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Brian
      Brian

      Oh Andy….Andy….Andy….just come out already! Surely admitting you’re gay couldn’t be half as bad as announcing you are addicted to My Super sweet 16 and toddlers & Tiaras……and yet you admitted that on live television a few years ago!

      Jan 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe Ciccone
      Joe Ciccone

      Andy’s openly gay, Brian. You funny!

      Jan 11, 2012 at 5:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva
      Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva

      @Joe Ciccone: He meant “Andy” as in Andersonn Cooper, i.e., the guy who talked about liking My Super Sweet 16 and Toddlers & Tiaras. *You* funny?

      Jan 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe Ciccone
      Joe Ciccone [Different person #1 using similar name]

      Ha ha ha. I’m a moron, Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva. You’re right. Doh!

      Jan 11, 2012 at 6:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Razzmatazz
      Razzmatazz

      At the end of the day, Anderson has the right to live the life he wants. And if he wants to shout out “I’m a homosexual!”, from the mountaintops, let him. And if not…let him.

      This man has no obligation to make himself some outspoken martyr for the gay community. He doesn’t deserve all of this venom.

      Jan 12, 2012 at 4:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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