Weekend Homework: Gay Speak

Darlings! We cannot put into words how pleased we are with the revival of Gay Speak, our attempt to catalogue as much gay vernacular as possible. Since its miraculous resurrection, we’ve gotten some real doozies.

Barry, whose sick imagination knows know bounds, offered cum belching gutter slut, while PJ suggested its cousin: cum guzzling gutter slut, both of which warmed the cockles of our demented hearts. Eric’s anal spelunker made us laugh out loud, and we absolutely j’adore Jim’s alliteratively astounding mangina muncher.

While these are all great, we want more. So, this weekend, while you nurse a hang over, suck a dick, or do whatever it is people with lives do, conjure up some more. Remember, whichever contribution elicits the most twisted giggles gets a prize. What is said prize, you ask? We can’t say, but it’s better than anything you could ever imagine.

So, what happens if you don’t participate? Let’s just put it this way: when we’re through with you, you’ll look worse than the petrified zombie that is Giorgio Armani. Not cute.