Editor’s note: We’ve asked online comedian, voice actor and chest hair model Sam Kalidi to create a new meme each week for Queerty readers. This week he takes notice of gay men of a certain age who wonder if a May-December romance is right for them. Sam looks forward to all your hate mail. You can find him onTwitter, Facebook,Instagram and at your local glory hole.
Tomoe Hotaru
when there is a power dynamic out of the younger person’s control; usually in the form of money and emotional manipulation.
Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos
When they’re a minor.
Ken Shepherd
I’m 24 years older than my hubby and we are going strong for over 3 years. Commitment and maturity are the key.
robho3
@Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos:
Bingo!!!
J Edward Herrera
Always!!!!
Bauhaus
Humorous, Sam Kilidi!
Tackle
When you are dating the much younger man only “because” he’s much younger.
Tackle
@Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos: I believe the article IS referring to 18 and over…
Ummmm Yeah
Every damn time. Old guy needs to grow up and the young one needs to get a job.
Glücklich
At first quick-scroll glance I didn’t get it. I thought the Bic Stic was a lipstick or dildo.
No cassette tapes for me, though. Lots and lots of vinyl but mostly new pressings.
http://www.darkentriesrecords.com/
http://minimalwave.com/
When dating a younger guy is a mistake…I’ve been dropped twice for being too young. If the older guy in the relationship feels it’s a mistake, then it’s a mistake. For all of my bluster about being Type A, I’m quite willing to defer to my partners, all of whom are older, for major step-taking and changes in the management of the relationship. It rarely needs to happen but I’ve found the willingness to defer comes back many-fold.
One of my partners initially wasn’t thrilled with the age difference when it started to move from FWB into more serious territory. He had baggage from being dumped years ago *for* a younger guy. That’s worked itself out and this afternoon we’re going down to L.A. to look over a house he bought.
@Bauhaus: Hiiii Bauhaus! MMMM-mmmm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGJbxUnRIhc
Realitycheck
My coworker is 55 and his lover is 80, they have been together almost 20 years and they seem happy………
Amaurys Arias
always… It requires a lot wishful and delusional thinking.
Milton Appleby
I met my husband when I was 20 and he was 30. He told me I was too young but decided to take a chance. Almost 17 years later and here we are. Dr. & Mr. Appleby.
Me2
@Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos: LOL!!
Scott Daniel
Older is better. Well not too old, I’m 24
sportyguy1983
If the age gap is 20yrs or greater then the answer is always. An age gap of between around 15yrs than that is a 50/50 prospect of it being ill advised.
onthemark
When the older guy maxes out his ATM card limit two days in a row? A sign of trouble in paradise.
Glücklich
@onthemark:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szM7x0N9Ru4
Cagnazzo82
@Glücklich: No romance without finance.
jimjimtk
Only when he is not the right young man for you. Same as any other relationship. Ageists can join the homophobes in the little room they use to try to come up with actual reasons for their “opinions.”
TheBigOne
I’ve always dated or been in relationships with much older men. I own my own business, don’t drive a Porsche nor a BMW. I’m in my 40s and my partner is in his late 70s.
Not all of us younger guys consider our older partners ATM machines. Reading through some of these comments, I gather that a lot of you wouldn’t consider anybody 5 years older than yourselves, which is pretty sad actually.
I’d rather be the way that I am instead of being one of those younger men who only want to date guys that are perfect and look just like them, wear all the right clothes, drive the right car, have as many degrees as they do, and vacation in FABULOUS places all over the world every chance they get. In the end, you’ll never be truly happy because you’ll always be looking for Mr. Perfect, while Mr. Perfect is out there looking for himself as well.
jwtraveler
Answer: When one or both of the men is unhappy in the relationship. That’s it. The rest is just social judgment.
@Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos: Minors are not “men”.
Billy Budd
Answer: Yes, of course it is possible. It is the RIGHT decision to date youngsters.
Stache99
@TheBigOne: @Milton Appleby: Don’t really think anyone bats an eye at your relationships ie two mature adults.
However, as Tackle pointed out it’s only a problem when your attraction is to youth itself like a 50 chasing after barely legals. That isn’t healthy in any way and you can always point to the reasons why. Just think of prime examples like David Geffen’s every single Boyfriend.
Then we here the usual crap song that it just happened. You’re all just haters. We love each other. Honey it just happened because your online said “under 30 only” and he wants to be spoiled.
Brian Johnson-Frazier
Never… You sexy older men should never stop dating us younger guys. For some of us, grey hair is an aphrodisiac 😛
Sansacro
@jwtraveler: Totally.
Dave Basora
As was said in someone else’s comment, commitment and maturity are key. I’ve known couples with age differences of 15+ years last a very long time. Many I know are still together ten or more years strong.
And yes there are those that have failed miserably. To say “always” is indicative of a narrow mind that thinks it’s best to limit oneself. That’s their prerogative. I prefer to remain open to possibilities
Captain Obvious
I laugh at the trolls and their sugarbabies because they usually have to pass up, ignore, and run through many MEN who are of a more respectable age to find that gayby of their dreams.
Then they usually ditch the twink when they’re “too old” aka 28-30 or get dropped by the twink when the kid meets someone who’s actually hot and they’ve saved up enough allowance from “Daddy” to move on.
It’s utterly ridiculous. The stories of one or two random couples who supposedly made it 50 years with a 45 year age difference hardly means every creeper with a kiddie fetish will land the twink he’s been lusting over. You’d be better off playing the lottery.
Twinks with a daddy fetish are few and far between. Meanwhile there are grown men who might actually want you, be into the same things as you, and love you for the rest of your life. But you know keep running around with lollipops in your pocket hoping to lure a baby out of the cradle.
socaldesign
met my husband when I was 25. He was 42. Next month we will have been together 35 years. While our income has fluctuated over that time, for the majority of those years I’ve made more money than him so clearly I wasn’t looking for an ATM.
scotshot
@Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos: Actually when they cannot give consent.
Aromaeus
When he has obvious daddy issues and a love of money.
Quingcess
I nearly got into a relationship with a guy 30 years older than me. My problem he was married, his problem I was much younger. He’s a really nice guy and now we really good friends.
MarionPaige
according to the old gay relationship bible The Male Couple, there is a significant age difference between the men in the majority of long term male relationships.
leopoldbuttersstotch
Without sounding like a complete boob, I get the image…but why use a pen to rewind a tape when all tape players comes with a rewind or forward function?
Glücklich
@leopoldbuttersstotch:
If the cassette deck’s screwy, rewinding/ff-ing the tape’s not going to help. Not going to do the tape itself much good, either.
Matt1961
My boyfriend and I are 31 years apart. My kids are older than him, just. we have a great healthy relationship. we’ve been together 5 years and our families are on board with it, at least they don’t question our motives. A May December, or January December romance like I have, can be positive and exceptional. I live much younger than I would have, he benefits from my experience on a great many matters. We have a very strong dynamic relationship.
I read an article about the ‘campsite protocol’ when it comes to intergenerational relationships. It’s the responsibility of the older partner (me) to ensure that the younger partner (he) is capable of supporting himself should the relationship end, and to leave him better off because of the relationship in the end. better off in terms of career, finance, or just life’s direction.
Del1959
My boyfriend will be 33 next month and I am 56. We have a very good relationship, so far.
He is actually the dominant one, while I am passive. Ive always been more passive than dominant and he is just naturally dominant.
Its working okay for both of us. Neither one of us has any money, to speak of. We both work very long hours just to live day to day.
Obviously neither one of us is interested in the other one for his money.
we just like each other.
By the way, neither one of us is delusional.
McShane
@leopoldbuttersstotch:
It’s for when the stereo eats the tape and the magnetic tape physically comes out of the cassette. God, I’m old.
http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/130909210310-07-cassette-0909-horizontal-large-gallery.jpg
Mack
I was 25 years older than my ex. We earned the same amount of money so money wasn’t an issue. We were together for 10 years. Our problem and the reason we broke up is his parents moved in with us and his mother wanted to run the house. He sided with her. I moved out. After 2 years of not hearing from him, he now says I was right and wants us back together. We had many good times over the 10 years. But unfortunately I’ve moved on. Age shouldn’t make a difference if two people are compatible. One shouldn’t support the other unless there is sudden unemployment, because that does happen, even in the straight life.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Good stuff in your post. Thank you!
Raphael
The image Queerty used to illustrate the article is from a soap opera of Brazil, called “Império” which aired in Globo, the world’s second largest television network. Is copyrighted and they do not usually tolerate these things, it would be better to change it.
Cam
Wow, another meme copied from about 200 others on the meme sites.
http://www.memecenter.com/search/she%20is%20too%20young%20for%20you
brisbob
A lot of course depends on the needs/motivations of each party but when it comes down to it, no union is incompatible if one party has income – and the other is patable?
Blackceo
Its been said the reasons that an older/younger relationship would not work (i.e. bad power dynamics or if its part of some fetish). Overall, like my girl Aaliyah sang about, “age ain’t nothing but a number” In my slutacious prep school and university years, the relationships I had were usually with men at least 10 years older than me.
Early on I never could really find a guy my age who had the maturity and worldliness I found attractive. While they didnt last, the relationships I had with older men taught me a lot about myself and about life in general and made me a better partner to my fiance today who is more close to my age. And no I didn’t have daddy issues. My father and I have always been close, my parents are still married, and my coming out to him was not even a big deal. Even today, with all the hot, young guys featured most frequently on Queerty, theres still something about a sexy, seasoned “Zaddy” that really floats my boat.
OzJosh
@sportyguy1983: I’m exactly 20 years older than my partner. We’ve been together 10 years. I suggest you STFU.
Chris
If you’re often asking yourself that question, then it probably is the wrong decision.
Tommy Ogletree
Dating? It is always a bad decision. You have nothing in common and the younger guy is always waaaaay too immature.
Blackceo
At first I wasn’t gonna admit this but I don’t get the picture in the article and I’m 37 so either its the fact that I’m on my 3rd Manhattan or I’m having a blonde moment. What is it? Oh nevermind. The pen is the top because back in the “old days” if a cassette got stuck you had to stick the pen in the hole and….” well ok I got it now. SMH.
martinbakman
Tab Hunter’s partner is 30+ years younger.
Some just want a guy they can call pappy, or grandpappy. I’ve met guys that were very into older men and of course have known men that go for youth always.
Allow others to be, and just be……yourself.
John Malin
When you have nothing in common but sex and he asks for Cheerios for breakfast!
Jamey Arnold
Every time!
Philip Scott Hoel
When you know the chemistry is right, but the timing is all wrong…
Ken Overholt
Uhmmmmmâ?¦.. Always?
Sheldon Siegel
When you’re already married to someone else.
lnwbpa
I met my husband when I was 25 and he was 36. It was love at first sight for me but for about 10 years he was always afraid I would leave him for a younger man. In the end, he left me after 39 years together when he passed away. I loved him just as much when he was 75 as when he was 36. I could always understand why he was afraid, being older, but my steadfastness proved him wrong and he finally settled in, let his guard down, and allowed himself to fall completely in love with me. From then on, life settled into a perfect relationship.
Now I face the same thing, when I start to date. I would like to be with someone a few years younger than me, but will I feel secure enough to handle it? Time will tell.
Jim Seitz
Never! Adults can make decisions for themselves. Get over it.
oaksong
I was 13 years older than my partner and we were together for 25 years. It’s predominately in American that young men have issues with partnering with older man. In Europe a mature man can easily find someone younger who wants more than a full wallet and a one night stand.
Daniel L Hatchett
When money or materialistic things are the motif and not a healthy LTR.
Jessica Tom
My name is Jessica Tom, From Germany.. My world and my life is back!!! After one year of Broken relationship, my boyfriend left me for know reason. I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. (Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Akereco), which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Jennifer,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than two days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Akereco e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try.I contacted him via email [email protected] and explained my problem to him, he told me In 48hours my husband will came back to me. to my surprise he come to my house asking me to forgive him We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before.. You can add him on his Facebook (salaam shafi) Dr Akereco, is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. His legit website is drakerecospellcaster.webs.com Angain his email address is [email protected]
Michael
After 23 years together,my ex slid into the MID-LIFE crisis with both feet…..
he took EVERYTHING, house cars businesses even my dog &* gave me 4 days top move out of our home of 22 years (FYI I paid ALL of the house bills)
left me for a 19 year old druggie drag queen….
he is now HIV+, Hep C+ back to drinking & circling the drain….
KARMA you are a HEARTLESS BITCH…….
THANK YOU!!!!
THANK YOU!!!!
THANK YOU!!!!
CJBrown304
Domestic Partners, love of my life for 34 years met him when I was 23, he was 40. Never looked back… A lass he died at 74. Age doesn’t matter if you are in love.
Glücklich
@Jessica Tom:
I’m interested!
Do you know if he can grant me magic powers to wipe from the face of the earth ALL scammers who flog witch doctors, spammers for penis enlargement pills and barely-legal cheerleaders, robodialers of all persuasions, and morning coffee-klatch shows?
Ridpathos
These stupid memes are not funny or witty. Can you do away with this segment already?
stanhope
While I would agree that the odds against increase with a significant age difference, each situation is unique. When I was young, I didn’t really care much for people my own age. I never asked an older person for a thing. Older men can be pretty savvy and the successful ones can generally smell an opportunist at 50 paces. They gave me things here and there but I was never with an older person I didn’t really like. Because I had gone to prep school and a good university and came from an affluent background, I could converse with these fellows without sounding stupid. I wanted to go to the Metropolitan rather than the latest club. It all worked out in the end.
Ted
Always keep an open heart , first lover for 20 yrs was 15 yrs older than me , ( turnout to be control freck ) next my husband is 10 yrs younger than me , 18 yrs later could not be a stronger love , you never know what’s ahead
pankra001
@Captain Obvious: That’s a lot of sour and bitterness. Not attractive qualities.
pankra001
@Del1959: Great comment! Wishing you and your partner continued happiness.
pankra001
@lnwbpa: Great story, I am sorry for your loss.
You will always have the wonderful memories to cherish.
James Dixon
When he asks for pocket money or is genuinely scared when you mention a spanking
Doughosier
There are no rules. If two people’s personalities complement each other, it doesn’t matter if they like different music or fashion or whatever. I’m 52 and my boyfriend of almost 4 years is 27. We get along beautifully.
Stephen Mole
For the benefit of the prior commentator who shall remain nameless. ‘A lass’ is a young Scottish female child. ‘Alas’ on the other hand is an expression of sadness.
Franklin
I have a serious question. How many guys who are 40+ are looking for relationships with other guys who are 40+? I saw a video on youtube once where a gay therapist said the number one complaint he gets from his gay male clients who are older is that they don’t find guys their own age attractive, so I’m just wondering. I’m in my 30’s and looking to date other guys in my 30’s or above. Most of the profiles I read on the apps say things like “Not looking for anyone over 30” or “looking for younger guys”. Is this just the way that things are? Will the majority of single gay men be forever searching for younger gay men no matter what their age?
Felix Duarte
In my experience it has never been a good idea. It just didn’t work out for me. That said, I know a couple with an almost 20 year age difference. They’ve been together for almost 20 years.
jwtraveler
A female friend married a man younger than her son. The age difference wasn’t the problem; he was just an a-hole. It took her a few years to come to her senses and divorce him, much to the relief of all her family and friends. Strangely, she kept his name.
Jesus Malverde
Never!
Jay Saltz
Never wrong when it feels right to both parties
Eddie Poole-Boccio
My husband is 19 years younger than me. We have been together 9 years and we are going strong!
James Sigmon
I find it odd and then older person just throwing their $$$ away for nothing . Save your $$$ and go in trips and enjoy your life.
James Sigmon
With the age difference you would have nothing to talk about.
James Sigmon
The younger generation all the want is some One to keep them up they don’t want to,work these days,
JJP
My husband is 20 years my junior, and we’ve been together for close to 14 years (legally married for the past 5), and we’re still going strong. So, it all depends on the couple. He’s very mature and serious-minded, and I’m somewhat immature and all about fun. So we balance each other out. He’s the yin to my yang, and vice-versa. Have there been challenges and growing pains along the way? Of course. What relationship doesn’t has its share of ups and downs? But there’s no doubt in my mind that we’re both in it for the long haul. My advice to all would be to not look to one person to fulfill all of your wants and needs. A small, close circle of friends is important. Also, all relationships go through a “honeymoon” phase, lasting approx. 2 years. A lot of people get addicted to this phase, and the minute it ends, bail on the relationship and go looking for it with someone else. No matter who you enter into a relationship with, this phase NEVER lasts. Relationships evolve through many stages over the course of time. Eschew the idealistic idea of what a long-term relationship should be, and allow your relationship the room to evolve and grow. You’ll both be a lot happier for it. Them’s my two cents.
Realitycheck
@Milton Appleby: 10 years in not a huge divide……..As a young men I always gave myself a 5 years swing in both direction but I can see some cases where 10 years doesn’t mean anything.
I think the real problem is when you go above that 10 years, and the higher the difference the more alarm bells go on so to speak.
Realitycheck
@Doughosier: You lucky bastard, 🙂 but pray tell what do you foresee in 10 years? Not a criticism, but a simple logical question.
JJP
@Realitycheck: I know your question was to Doughosier, but my answer is, I see myself in the same loving and committed relationship. As I grow older, he’ll be there for me in whatever ways he needs to be (as I’ve been there for him), and not because he HAS to be, but because he WANTS to be. The odds are that I’ll go first (although you never know), and when that day comes, he’s free to start over and build a new life for himself with someone else. I want him to be happy, so that’s what I’d want for him. But I know that I’ll always be in his heart, as he’ll always be in mine.
jwtraveler
@Franklin: I’ve always preferred older men. Now that I’m in my 50s, that’s not as desirable an option, but if I’m old enough to be his father, I’m not interested.
Daggerman
..nope! have no understanding what you’re on about. If a man looks and acts young for his age and dates another younger man maybe much younger, then fuck-off you jealous twits…
dracon23
It’s pretty sad to see gay men judging other gay men’s relationships. I’m 34 and my boyfriend is 24. I’m the analytical type so I used science, as in personality types to find my bf. We have extremely compatible personalities and almost all the same interests, the same musical tastes and the exact same sense of humor. I prefer someone younger because I don’t want to end up jaded like all of my friends. He doesn’t want to deal with the insecurity and indecisiveness of someone his age. It’s the most natural relationship I’ve ever had or tried to have. Why don’t some of you guys like @captain_obvious find someone you really like and are compatible with rather than worry about others relationships. I offer him exactly what he wants and he does the same for me. He’s submissive behind closed doors and I’m dominant but I usually defer to him with a lot of the day to day decisions. Maybe some of you guys could learn a lesson. I also wouldn’t have gone with more than a 10yr gap in my case either but what I have is *perfect*.