More and more, what were once known as gay bars now welcome those from all walks of life through their chrome or rainbow bedazzled doorways. And that means straight people are privy to all sorts of booze-fueled conversations from their gay friends and strangers they meet there. And like any sub-culture, gays have a language all of their own.
If you have a straight friend you suspect nods along with conversations they’re completely lost in while out on the town with you and your ‘mos, perhaps this glossary might be of assistance. (Message to non-gays: don’t try some of these things at home or at a hetty pickup bar. They just don’t translate.)
Pass this along and they’ll be clucking like a hen in no time.
Kiki vs Kaikai
Both of these are used in reference to your circle of close friends, but they mean very different things. A kiki (as made widely known by the pop band Scissor Sisters) is a small party (usually in someones house). Debauchery will and must ensue.
Kaikai can easily be the result of a kiki, but it can also happen any old time. Gay guys have a unique friendship scenario — our closest circles are often comprised of other men we find attractive. And even though these friendships are platonic, sister on sister action is not unheard of. Kaikai’s origins are in the drag community, when two queens would hook up, but it’s come to mean any two gay friends getting it on.
PNP
You might hear this one thrown around, usually in the form of a question or declaration. “No PNP,” or “Do you PNP?” It stands for “party and play,” in reference to doing hard drugs (usually meth) while having anonymous or semi-anonymous sex. If you didn’t know this one before, you’re already doing something right. Keep it up.
Throwing Shade
Shade comes in many different flavors, but the base ingredient is the idea that you are metaphorically stepping in front of someone’s sunshine to block it out. Shade can be funny, bitchy, or cruel, but it should always be real. Aretha Franklin is an expert at throwing shade. Martha Stewart throws subtle shade at Gwyneth constantly.
Reading
As Professor RuPaul teaches us, it’s fundamental. Reading is a cousin of throwing shade, and there can definitely be overlap. A read isolates some truth about someone, usually one that is a little uncomfortable. A read can be a dig or more of an intuition. “Girl, you move through men like Capris,” is the dig vs. “The way you move through men, you must have had daddy issues growing up.”
Glamping
The combination of “glamorous” and “camping,” glamping is exactly what it sounds like. Tents are replaced with furnished cabins or an RV, food is prepared at gourmet standards, and the bar is fully stocked (obviously). It’s a stereotype that gay guys don’t like to rough it in the wilderness, but a stereotype built on reality. Sure there are exceptions, but for many it’s the only way to camp.
Cockies
Calm down, your gay friend isn’t asking you to have sex when he texts “cockies? meet me at 9.” He’s just thirsty and wants cocktails.
Trade
If your gay friend is trying to get in your pants (or already has), you might be trade. Trade are straight men seen as conquests for gay guys to sleep with. They’re usually on the masculine side of the spectrum, and are much sought after by a certain breed of gay. Offshoots include rough trade and prison trade. Trade can also mean “DL” or “downlow” — an otherwise straight guy who actively seeks hook-ups with gay guys on the side.
Quiche
It’s true that gay guys love brunch, but in this case the word means cool, sexy, hot or some combination thereof. But while that is the technical definition, the word is so self-aware of its own absurdity that it’s usually used with some degree of irony. It’s origins are in the TV character Ja’mie who first appeared in Summer Heights High then got her own spinoff Ja’mie: Private School Girl. A song can be quiche, a look, a read — anything, really. There will even be people who will tell you to “stop trying to make quiche happen, it’s not going to happen.”
Ratchet
This adjective is used to described an especially high level of mess, or a noteworthy lack of taste. The coked-up drag queen with the atomic explosion of makeup and bristly wig? Ratchet. The 50-year-old in the skin-tight Abercrombie shirt drunkenly making overt passes at everyone at the bar who could pass for a cousin of One Direction? Ratchet. The sloppy toilet stall sex at 3 a.m. while a line of people waits to pee? Ratchet.
Bonus: Ten Forgotten Gay Slang Words That Deserve To Be Resurrected
jason smeds
This article is so funny.
Scribe38
Obviously I need to be more involved in bar culture; I didn’t know half of these terms. I must be getting old, or I hang out with way too many straight people.
Xzamilio
You want to know when new gay slang is coming, take your ass down to Atlanta or watch RHOA. Not even trying to be racial, but everyone knows the good gay slang nowadays comes from the black Atlanta queens and the white LA drag queens if Atlanta is not your tea.
RIGay
Yes, Scribe, I just don’t get any of the references, either. Though humorous, I feel like I am listening to the cultural dialog of “Demolition Man”.
Groovy.
Rad
Kangol
Sounds like a lot of this slang is being appropriated directly from black gay people/black popular culture.
Not to throw shade, trade, but ya gotta wonder why this isn’t being mentioned, huntee!
Elloreigh
This stuff sounds like something belonging to some fraction of the greater gay community. None of it means anything to me. Get kinda tired of us being defined by coastal ‘gay culture’ or drag culture, etc. Nothing against either one, but they aren’t us, and we aren’t them.
Bee Gaga
@Kangol: Exactly, like most gay slang. But the white queens never wanna say that. Plus, “ratchet” isn’t even remotely a gay slang. It was started by a black rapper years ago and permeated through the black community then it got into the mainstream culture. Who wrote this?
jmmartin
Fact is, lgbtq argot has spread throughout st8dom. I mean, J. Edgar probably had something to do with the Hooverism, “coming on like gangbusters,” which entered the common usage across the board in the 40s and 50s. Then, there is “out of the closet.” Straight folk are using it for everything, e.g. “He came out of the closet about his chocoholicism.” I am certain there are many other examples. Thanks to Senator Craig, hasn’t “light in the loafers” been replaced by “having a wide stance”? Our language is so rich. Queer people just make it richer, putting the cream on top of the milk, so to speak. But, like Korzybski, I wonder when we will quit believing that the map is the territory: the Buddha was right when he taught that labels are for the supermarket.
I'm Black, and HIV-Positive.
@Kangol: I did notice that Kangol, but I didn’t want to mention it, because I was having more fun believing that the gay white people who I fantasize run Queerty had “overcome”. (I have master/slave issues.) Which makes one wonder why you thought it was necessary to further stigmatize by illuminating where the language came from in the first place then.
Furthermore, why not believe that this article was written to be more than a glossary of terms for the straight guys if you know what I mean. Personally, I think it’s a positive that black and white gays do feel we can share a language… because we should be able to. Especially in America. It is a melting pot you know? And speaking of which — how about some latino gay terms next time pappy?
I'm Black, and HIV-Positive.
“Girl, look at her outfit. She look so broke-down.” I love gay culture! When I was coming up/out in the nineties there was kind of a slight push here in Washington DC that was reiterated in the media (the Washington Blade/Metro Weekly) that the current generation of gays were somewhat angry, because the previous generation of gays didn’t share enough of their stories and experiences. I always took heed to remember that someday someone, some impressionable youth may actually want to know what I went through directly. And that’s what this feels like; that sharing of the collective story. Thanks for the article Queerty. It helped. I think alot of us laughed reading it.