auntie anxiety

They accidentally came out to a homophobic aunt on Thanksgiving… and then came the twist

Hand over mouth

Reddit user u/MysteriousR551 planned to come out to their father over the holidays, as they wrote in a recent post ominously titled “Accidentally outed myself to homophobic aunt on Thanksgiving.”

Yes, turns out it’s challenging to have a private coming-out moment “when there’s 15 people in one house for the holiday,” as u/MysteriousR551 wrote. And their post-dinner chat with their father turned out to be a conversation with their brother and aunt, as well. (u/MysteriousR551 hasn’t specified their pronouns in their Reddit bio, so we’re defaulting to gender-neutral pronouns to be safe.)

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“My aunt has made homophobic/transphobic comments in the past, so obviously, I didn’t want her to know that I’m gay,” u/MysteriousR551 added. “She asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no. She kept going on and on about how a girl my age should have a boyfriend and that I should be thinking about marriage and kids.”

u/MysteriousR551 had heard such comments before from this aunt, but this particular remark put them “over the edge.” And then…

I snapped and said something like, ‘Trust me when I say that I will never have a boyfriend. Not that it matters to you, but I’m gay!’ Complete silence for the longest time. Then my dad said, ‘I’m not surprised. I’ve suspected for quite a while. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me when you were ready. I don’t care if you like girls or boys or whoever, as long as you’re happy.’ At this point, me and my aunt are visibly in tears. She hugged me and said she was sorry for everything. That if she had known, she wouldn’t have made so many horrible comments.

u/MysteriousR551 said that they had a “long discussion” with their father and aunt, while their brother stayed oddly silent for the next few hours. “I tried to ask him what was up earlier this morning, but I couldn’t get any answer beyond ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I’m so happy for you.’ Based on that and my previous suspicions over the last couple of years, I have a feeling that my brother will have his own coming-out experience someday. Either way, I will still love him, and I’m so proud of myself for coming out, even though it was an accident.”

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Good gravy, did that Thanksgiving story end well! We’re still a little salty about the aunt—it shouldn’t take a relative’s coming-out to make one regret homophobic and transphobic comments—but let’s just hope she has lived and learned.