marriage

After Molesting Children, New Jersey’s Catholic Church Knows What’s Best For Families

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Who says certain Lutheran sects get to have all the anti-gay religious fun? The Catholic Church of New Jersey is turning to Jesus to fight this evil cadre of homosexuals.

And it’s just in time for the Garden State’s introduction of marriage equality legislation!

A letter circulating the Catholic churches of America’s armpit — signed by “bishops from Newark, Metuchen, Trenton, Paterson and Camden” ‐ warns parishioners that gay fmilies are going to eat their children. Or something as ridiculous.

“As citizens, Catholics also have the right and responsibility to oppose laws and policies that unjustly target people as bigots or that subject them to charges of unlawful discrimination,” reads the letter in part, “simply because they believe and teach that marriage is the union of man and a woman. … As Catholics, we must not stand by in silence in the face of the many challenges that threaten marriage and, in turn, children and the public good.”

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And before you get to thinking New Jersey Catholics are merely against any unmarried person caring for children, they’ve cleared that up: single heteros are A-OK! “Supporting single-parent families, as a just and compassionate society must do is far different than deliberately creating motherless and fatherless families and holding them out to be the same as marriages.”

Meanwhile, the church is being very careful not to endorse any specific legislation, or politician, because that could run afoul of its tax-exempt status. Rather, they just urge their minions to care. And that is what this Catholic Church is all about, right? Caring.

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Alas, there’s this LOL:

Official Catholic teachings against same-sex marriage are widely known, although polls indicate U.S. Catholics don’t collectively heed church teachings. In a Washington Post/ABC poll this spring, 46 percent of white Catholics favored legalizing same-sex marriage, compared with 49 percent of the general population.

But hey, New Jersey’s Catholic churches know what’s best for children, right?

(Photo of Jesus with trash bags via)