Aussie Toilet Trauma

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Scores of gay men in Sydney will have to find a new place to get their rocks off other than a Myer toilet.

Apparently, the men’s room there has been closed due to what The Sydney Morning Herald calls “rampant homosexual activity”.

Management at Myer’s Sydney city store in Pitt Street closed its level one toilet to the public because men were using it as a meeting point, often having sex in sight of other users.

Goodness gracious! Gay men having sex in a bathroom? They must be monsters!

Now, we don’t understand is what qualifies as “rampant homosexual activity”? We’re assuming that doesn’t mean just poppers and blowjobs. From what remember, such things weigh as a measly “significant homosexual activity” on the internationally-recognized homosexual activity scale.

If we recall correctly, “rampant homosexual activity” includes fisting, slings and at least three farm animals. If that’s the case, it’s only reasonable, then. that a security guard would explain the closure by saying, “we had problems with people in there … there were safety issues”.

The primary safety issue, of course, being slick trails of lube and semen. Quite a hazard!