IMPROBABLE CAUSE

BREAKING: Was Norwegian Mass Killer Anders Behring Breivik Gay?

Today at the trial of confessed Norwegian killer Anders Behring Breivik, former friends indicated they believed the mass murderer might be gay.

In July 2011, Breivik, 33, set off a bomb in central Oslo that killed eight people and then went on a shooting spree on the island of Utoya that took an additional 69 lives.

The witnesses, who were not named in press reports, claimed the right-wing extremist’s  life “fell apart” after a failed relationship with woman he met on the Internet. “That was perhaps his last attempt at dating a girl like the other boys did,” one woman claimed.

Another friend, a lawyer in Norway’s Ministry of Defense, suggested Breivik was a homosexual because he was neat and obsessed with his appearance. “He used make-up powder, those kinds of things, and he explained that as being ‘metrosexual’. He made reference to David Beckham being that at the time.”

Of course these ex-buddies, who lost touch with Breivik after he moved back in with his mother in 2006, also said his online gambling addiction and World of Warcraft habit were to blame for his sorry state.