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Burning Question: Are You Any Good At Hiding Boners?

Cha Cha is posing a question to its readers that, frankly, we haven’t had to ponder since high school: How do you handle boners?

We sussed out pretty long ago that public erections weren’t the catastrophe we imagined—and in fact most people didn’t even notice. (And the ones who did? We got their numbers).

The site’s quiz creates several (heteronormative) scenarios as asks how you’d react—erection during a presentation, on the dance floor, with a possible romantic interest—but the real fun is looking at the photos.

We’re guessing the feature was created by a woman, because one of the options for making a hard-on go away is ” literally smash the sucker until he is down.”


On:           May 6, 2012
Tagged: ,
    • Chris

      I am quite good at hiding them in my mouth. Sometimes in my bum.

      May 6, 2012 at 6:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anon

      Result: “Hard-On Magician. Know one will ever suspect you have a rager in your pants.”

      “Know one”? Really? I, mean, honestly!

      May 6, 2012 at 6:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anon

      I think the only possibility for noticeable boners is wearing loose pants and loose underwear at the same time, like boxer shorts and sweatpants (both a crime against style). Given that the majority of people nowadays wear boxer briefs and jeans, I really don’t understand how boners can still be a problem.

      May 6, 2012 at 6:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • QJ201

      @Anon: I NEVER wear boxers because my cock hanging down in my pant leg…is just asking for a public boner.

      May 6, 2012 at 7:37 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gay Bacon

      Going commando in HS was a big no no. Especially during band practice. My solution, I called everyone to attention and then said horns up. Ironic isn’t it? This thing still has a mind of its own but I figured out ppl like that lol

      May 6, 2012 at 8:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joseph

      I’m lucky. Even in high school, I never had to worry about such a problem. My dick curves down when erect, so it’s completely unnoticable when I have a boner in my pants.

      May 6, 2012 at 10:32 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bort


      curves down??


      May 6, 2012 at 11:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Clueless


      Pics please !

      May 6, 2012 at 12:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gauthier

      @bort: Um, no need to be offensive. What are you, twelve?

      May 6, 2012 at 1:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jeff4justice

      @bort: That comment about his dick show’s you’re asshole : )

      May 6, 2012 at 1:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jack jett

      @Chris: A most excellent response dude…..MOST EXcellent…

      May 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg

      Office garb – even khakis, but especially suit pants – is much more revealing than jeans. Now that I have a blue-collar job where everybody wears jeans, I wonder how anybody got work done back in my office days, what with the women’s almost-daily birthday parties (see a certain “Seinfeld” episode) and all those “bi-curious” guys shoving their bulges in my face while I was innocently sitting at my desk trying to get some work done. Ah, the ’90s.

      May 6, 2012 at 1:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • AEH

      Stay classy, Queerty!

      May 6, 2012 at 3:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fred

      @Joseph: Call me!

      May 6, 2012 at 3:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geoff B

      Funny this article came up. I’m watching a hockey game right now and a couple minutes ago the local news broke on with a severe storm warning and let’s just say the weatherman should have brought a book with him.

      May 6, 2012 at 4:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anon

      I say stop trying to hide them. Wear them with pride. We should see more boners, not less of them!

      May 6, 2012 at 5:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff

      @Chris: Best response.

      May 6, 2012 at 5:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • shle896

      I just start thinking about naked women and that usually takes care of the problem.

      May 6, 2012 at 7:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bava

      the worry should be in the precum spots

      May 6, 2012 at 7:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz

      When I was a young teen, this issue worried the hell out of me. I like the idea that boys are more jokey and fun about it than we were. I remember my gym teacher (swear to G-D) walking by in tighty whiteys in the junior high locker room, and G-d damn, I was stiff for the rest of the day. The man had the nicest ass I had ever seen, and I STILL think of it, these 400 years latter.

      May 6, 2012 at 10:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

      @fitz 400 yrs later? Wat is matusala doing in quertx.

      May 6, 2012 at 11:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joseph

      @Clueless: This isn’t me, but it gives you good idea (and I’m about the same size). NSFW:


      May 6, 2012 at 11:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mattheq

      I kee boners in my pocket to keep them safe…

      May 7, 2012 at 12:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • bort


      you wish

      May 7, 2012 at 1:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eichmann

      fu-k it

      May 7, 2012 at 3:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Erich

      @ bort Seriously dude, Gauthier was right. Are you 12?

      May 7, 2012 at 6:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Meowzer

      I wear dress pants to work daily, but not underwear. I don’t ever wear underwear. So, as far as boners go, I have to get a little creative. I work with a lot of hot guys who are on the dock or in the print shop. I’ll be sitting at my desk and turn around to find a crotch not far from my face and I sometimes get stiff right away, before I’ve had ample to time to “cover up” with a document or book. I’ve actually made a game of it by trying not to hide it and see if THEY notice.

      May 7, 2012 at 2:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bascha

      Getting a boner at the beach is THE WORST. You can’t tuck it up because you’re not wearing a shirt and you basically can’t move until it goes away.

      May 7, 2012 at 4:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon1981

      If I had the real thing, I wouldn’t bother hiding it at all! Unlike you lucky boys, I have to buy expensive appendages to simulate a boner. Recognize how lucky you are and wear those boners with pride!

      May 7, 2012 at 5:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JB97

      I just tuck it up into the waste of my pants. It sticks up above my belt a little but my shirt covers it up.

      May 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joseph

      @bort: Oh, I know.

      May 10, 2012 at 12:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jared StMark

      @JB97: LoL! After reading all the totally individualized “techniques” that guys have used as a way to hide their handle, I never thought there would be so many variations of what goes where! Then when you think about it the deciding factor of where to put it comes down to where it will fit!;) I had a perma-hard from probably 6th through 12th and then some, and the only direction it could go is up, putting it down my pants leg was not even possible, I’d wear a jock strap and at full hard have it sticking straight up with the head sticking out the top of my jeans, and always wearing a button up shirt with the tails never tucked in…it kept things covered and if I ever got bored in class I had easy access to my favorite pastime, and luckily for my shirt most of the classrooms had gray industrial type carpet, so spills weren’t even noticeable after working it in a bit with your sneakers, and no worry of a possible slip and fall as with linoleum floors…

      Jul 9, 2012 at 11:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jared StMark

      @the other Greg: Not more revealing than the levi 501 jeans I used to wear, funny how easy it was to miss a button or two on the fly…;)

      Jul 10, 2012 at 12:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jared StMark

      @Fitz: Your coach’s name didn’t happen to be Jim Stansell, by any chance?! ;)

      Jul 10, 2012 at 12:11 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jared StMark

      @Anon: I’ll take the right guy wearing those sweatpants or a singlet (commando) over style any day! And not a major fan of boxer briefs, too bulky and kinda look like lj’s with the legs cut off, they show under clothes almost like a diaper…I prefer a nice jock strap with a roomy pouch, makes a huge difference in how your butt looks also…

      Jul 10, 2012 at 12:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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