Canadian Churchies Harp On Marriage

Sure, the 21st century Madonna‘s all well-and-good, but a Catholic bishop in Canada wants to see more of the first Madonna – you know, Jesus’ mother.

As The Vatican wags its holy finger and gay-marriage rears its head once again in Canada, Archbishop James Weisgerber, vice-president of the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops insists that he and his Catholic homies will be playing a larger role in the debate than ever before.

According to The Toronto Star, his bishopness was reinvigorated by a visit with Pope Benedict XVI – which really means the Pope dug into him right good. (By the way, we’ve pictured the Pope because we really can’t get enough of that picture. What? Like you can?)

Weisgerber insists:

We will be a vigorous part of the debate…People don’t really have a sense of personal sin or reflection. We are becoming a more selfish and hedonistic society.

As part of his mission, Weisgerber will seek to unite Catholics with fundamentalist Christians and Muslims.

That sounds like a good idea on the surface, but what if the Jews want to get in on the action, too? Maybe a holy war will erupt (as they’re wont to do) and they’ll be so distracted that the gays can go forward with the final stage of their plan: complete world domination.

Because, you know, marriage was just the first step in the evil plot to turn our planet into one bacchanal, orgiastic hell fest.