Citing Marriage Inequality, The Abbey In WeHo Outlaws Bachelorette Parties

Phalanxes of drunk straight girls have been barreling into gay bars to celebrate an upcoming wedding ever since Sex & The City made it cool to have a gay BFF. Distracting, degrading and often disrespectful, these gatherings have been a topic of debate here and elsewhere for some time.

Well now, the Abbey, one of America’s most famous gay bars has put it’s high heel down: No more bachelorette parties!

Frontiers shared a press release from from The Abbey:

“Every Friday and Saturday night, we’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our go-gos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials. They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married,” said David Cooley, Founder of The Abbey.  “Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between. We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties.”

It has long been a policy at The Abbey to deny admission to groups in costume, including bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes. The Abbey’s ‘bachelorette ban’ comes on the heels of a ban on gay marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the South.   The Abbey encourages other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.

The Abbey isn’t the first bar to institute such a ban, but it’s certainly the biggest. What do you think—will other watering holes follow suit? Should they? Pour yourself a stiff one and share in the comments.


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  • Chad

    Well Queerty you have opened a can of worms.

  • QJ201

    TOTALLY support this. I was with my friends in a drag restaurant…one gay pride weekend…and the crowd was more than half straight (and mostly bachelorette parties). The hostess yelled happy gay pride and of course the straights just sat there. The queen on the mic READ THEM. “The staff here is all gay and if you aren’t and you can’t celebrate WITH US why the FUCK are you here?” Our “waitress” joked about it with us and said something like…”we’re drag Amos and Andy; these heteros could give a shit about our rights, we are just here to entertain them.”

  • Katie

    I am a straight girl (who was raised in part by her gay uncle after her very straight father decided he liked fucking lots of women more than raising his daughters–but I digress)and I completely support this. I hate bachelorette parties in gay bars, especially in places where marriage equality is not a reality. I have spent plenty of time in gay bars–with friends, with family, with random people I met on a drunken night, but I can’t stand how some straight women treat gay bars–and gay spaces in general. Bravo “Abbey”. I love you even more now.

    P.S. I would personally forgo the whole bachelorette party thing–anywhere. I find the whole custom horrifying. :)

  • iDavid

    “Drunk straight girls” drunk anybody for that matter, 86 ’em. I personally have gone there less due to the drunk str8 girl factor. The Abbey is for gay celebration, let the str8 drunks go to TGI Fridays. It’s also one of the most beautiful bars n the world. We gays know how to build HOT. The straights can get their own hot on.

    I think The Abbey is right on with this decision and should keep it enforced even after Cali gets marriage.

  • Annonny

    Great. I wish all gay bars would do this. The fewer drunk shrieking straight girls I have to see, the better.

  • Cam

    Well, I understand that some of these bachelorhood parties may be upset or offended.

    Before they freak out though, imagine how upset or offended gays are when we aren’t allowed marriage certificates, or are escorted away from state offices in handcuffs for trying to register for on in places like North Carolina.

  • Lifer

    Str8 girls who are disrespectful in gay bars are that way whether or not they are in a batchelorette party. I’ve been to the Abbey many times over the years & have never noticed a batchelorette party there, but there’s always some str8 girls who act like this place is nothing more than a sideshow for their entertainment. So, I don’t think this declaration will do all that much.

  • JayKay

    Well, it’s a start…

  • HeroQueero

    I think this is a very good idea! Where were all of these bachelorettes when California was voting for marriage equality? They won’t come out to support marriage equality but will go out in droves to be entertained by the gay community. ENOUGH! We have to do whatever we can to remind people that we are people too, not just here to be gay BFFs and the butt of jokes for comedians who have to depend on gay culture to get a cheap laugh!

  • WillBFair

    The very idea of holding a bachelorette party in a gay bar, when gay marraige is illegal, is hopelessly declasse. It’s disrespectful, and borders on contemptuous. The statue of St. Francis on the patio should not be exposed to such ruffians.

  • SteveC

    Wonderful idea.

    They are not being barred because they are straight. They are being barred for being disrespectful to other patrons in the bar.

  • lizcivious

    As a straight woman, I find it very insensitive for straight chicks to hold one of their silly bachelorette parties at a gay bar. I wouldn’t even go into a gay bar unless I was with gay friends because I respect the patrons’ right to have fun without feeling like they’re being gawked at or scrutinized by the straights. Although, I’d probably have more fun and see hotter-looking guys at a gay bar! Good for the Abbey and other gay establishments.

  • Spike

    Feeble attempt by the CrAbbey to get the local gay clientele back. If they really cared about marriage equality they would have come to this conclusion a long time ago. Best thing that happened to HERE was when the drunk str8t chicks started hanging out at the CrAbbey.

  • jason

    Does anyone else think there’s an element of voyeurism in these women? I mean, it’s almost as if they think of going to a gay bar as if they’re going to the zoo to see the animals. It’s almost – but not quite – the same as when straight-identifying guys go to lesbian bars to perv on “the lezzos”.

  • Barca

    I get the idea and it sounds great on face value though I have to question though how the Abbey will regulate this. I held my bachelor party at the Abbey, my husband held his at another location in LA. What if a lesbian woman wanted to hold her bachelorette party there – is the Abbey going to ask if she is marrying a woman or man? Seems hard to regulate…

    The Abbey has been known in recent years as being overrun by straights (regardless of bachelorette parties), so maybe this is a PR stunt to reinstate Abbey as a gay bar (?)

  • Cam


    A bar in Washington DC was losing it’s gay clientle. What was happening is that the straight girls were coming there on dollar vodka nights, being loud, causing trouble because they were upset at not being the center of attention.

    Then the straight guys started coming because everybody knew that the straight girls were there. The bartenders were complaining because the women weren’t tipping and the crowd was more rowdy etc…

    So the bar just said that the drink specials were only for men. A complaint was going to be filed but the city responded that if they did away with that, then they would have to do away with “Ladies Night” specials in straight bars….needless to say the complaint was pulled, the straight women disappeared and the gay crowd came back.

    The last thing a bunch of normal folks on a night out want is for a screaming drunk bachelorette party causing issues.

  • Aussie Col

    Excellent move. Although I was hoping one of these str8 girls would come on to a gay guy so we could take them outside and beat them to death in an episode of Straight Panic! Just to even up the slate. *Aussie sarcasm*

  • Alexa

    @Barca: right now, why would any gays or lesbians be holding bachelor/ette parties in the Abbey? We can’t get married in CA. If they’re going out of state to get married I suppose they could always let the management know. I’ve never been in the Abbey (live on the east coast), do many lesbians even go there? I thought it was mostly gay guys and straight girls.

  • Jon

    One would think that a group that is so often unjustly excluded from society would be a bit more inclusive. This is one of those times that “turning the other cheek” or “being the bigger person” would speak volumes.

  • alexidelosreyes444

    Alexa DelosReyes beware of this employee she is a bully. She will kick you out of the club without any probable cause. She will try to sell you MOLLY so BEWARE!!!

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