She knows how ridiculous it sounds, but she’s praying that the teeming masses over at Reddit will be able to offer some timely advice on a matter that’s rending her household asunder.
“Our daughters had the idea to give their brother a makeover,” Ollyolyfreetimes writes. “They all thought it was hilarious and my husband did not say anything at the time but apparently he ‘died inside’ when he saw our son with makeup on.”
Related: Little Boy Owns Runway, Melts All The Hearts
Now he’s going on rants about how their five-year-old son is gay, and how their daughters have corrupted his pliant mind and given him a taste for wearing the demon makeup. Next, he thinks, they will “put him in a dress.”
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In her words, “He is a nervous wreck and I am over his attitude. Is there anything I can do?”
Redditors were quick to huddle together to sing their words of wisdom and offer her the help she so desperately needs in this trying time of transgressive rouge and lipliner application.
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“You need to have a conversation about your husband’s homophobic comments in general,” responds Usrname52, after carefully emphasizing that nothing makes you gay. “Why is it a bad thing if your son is gay? You have 5 kids. How is he going to react if one of them comes out?”
PennyLisa concurs. “Your husband needs to realize that when he has a child the child is his own person, and may have likes, dislikes, sexual orientations, etc that he doesn’t approve of.”
“My best friend does drag,” reveals HereComesBadNews, “and his two year old nephew has been getting in to his uncle’s makeup since he could hold on to things.”
I even gave the nephew a soft powder brush of his own to play with. He’s also obsessed with his dad’s backhoe and loves to get dirty. Nobody bats an eyelash at any of this because he’s a kid and kids are just going to play with what’s fun. Makeup is fun.”
“Years later, photo evidence of these events will turn up at major events, regardless of sexuality,” writes whichwitch9, who we like. “It is the right of the older sibling to ensure future embarrassment photos are secured before the younger sibling is old enough to protest.”
“We used to paint our little brother’s nails and dress him in our Disney princess dresses,”cornflake reveals. “He loved it and would ask us to dress him up. He isn’t gay (not that it would matter if he was). Funnily enough my sister and I, the owners of those princess dresses, are both dating other women.”
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Our advice? She should wait until her husband is asleep and then assiduously apply a battery of L’oreal products to his face, so he can awaken in the morning and discover his own signature look for gorgeous eyes. Perhaps then he’ll realize that makeup will not make you gay, even when it makes you feel very pretty indeed.
Plus, as this story illustrates, a young boy like Ethan Wilwert (pictured above) can undergo an intense makeover and totally own it.
What do you think this woman should do with her bummer husband? Weigh in in the comments below.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
“He’s also obsessed with his dad’s backhoe and loves to get dirty.”
Presented without comment.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Of course the father is stupid in this. But why do these boys (not necesarally this one) who want to express themselves and their “indivuality” and creativity always resort to cliche stereotypically female — and arguably sexist — tropes of body decoration and not, say, Masai Warrior toe make up — which is way cooler and creative — or totally imaginary way out shit. Not that I care.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Edit “type” not “toe,” although…
ChrisK
Funny how when girls go as tomboys everyone thinks it’s cute and has no problem. What is it about boys and femininity that is so bad. I think it’s not only homophobic but misogynistic as well.
He BGB
I asked my mother (years after my father died) once why my father bought me dolls and jewelry, anything my older sister got, I wanted and he bought it with no lectures. He just wanted you to be happy, my mother answered.
He BGB
@ChrisK:
Women have been considered less than and second class that nobody worries whereas a man is “superior” and to act like a woman is “weak”. Why would you want to be a woman when you have that wonderful penis? That’s the way I see it, anyway.
robho3
Another stupid ass Reddit story… If I wanna read this crap I’ll go to Reddit.
GayEGO
Maybe this boy is not gay, maybe he is a transgender wanted to be a girl.
SarcasaticMisanthrope
To late Dad. And now your male child will start listening to Boy George, and follow in the footsteps of RuPaul.
What a asshole.
Kieran
I’m troubled by the line, “Our daughters had the idea to give their brother a make-over. They thought it was hilarious” If their son had the “hilarious” idea of playing barber and giving his sisters a crew-cut would they allow that? This 5 year old shouldn’t be the “play thing” in his sister’s make believe beauty parlor.
jag4313
My sister and cousin would dress me up and put make-up on me when I was 4 or 5 and I turned out just fine… oh, wait…
1EqualityUSA
The mother’s immune system, having been subjected to four previous pregnancies, may have biochemically influenced orientation. Nature’s population control? Is he last of five? The siblings were giving him what he needed. Self-expression goes on, behind closed doors. With a disapproving father lumbering about the house, the damage is irreparable. Children give each other what they need, psychologically. Why does this change as we age?