think of the kids

Dan Savage Wants to Save Kids From The Type of Name Calling He Perpetuates

Dan Savage, the Seattle-based writer and father who calls people transgender to insult them, is launching the It Gets Better Project, where real life gays will share their stories about being young people and surviving bullying, violence, and yes, name calling. So that makes … sense?

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #children #dansavage #itgetsbetterproject stories and more


  • Berg

    While the McKenna remarks Savage made were not okay, let’s put this in perspective…

    Savage has done a great deal for queer people in his columns, podcasts, activism, and frequent appearances on national television. A generation of Americas, both queer and straight, listen to him and respect him.

    This new project of his is something that should be lauded, not picked at. Sometimes it seems like Queerty is more interested in stirring up controversy where it doesn’t exist than reporting about important outreach to LGBT youth, especially those in rural America.

    Did he fuck up before? Sure, but is that what we should be focusing on now? Get a clue, Queerty editors.

  • Michael C.

    “Dan Savage Wants to Save Kids From The Type of Name Calling He Perpetuate”

    Faggot, please. You’re a hot tranny mess.

  • Kev C

    For many people, it doesn’t get better. The name calling, discrimination, dirty looks, threats, and violence never end .. ever. That’s reality. But you can do things about it:
    1) Become a hermit
    2) Kill yourself
    3) Kill others who piss you off
    4) Dress down, macho up, and pretend you were never queer
    5) But most of all .. have fun.

  • Michael

    Are you kidding? What, so he shouldn’t have tried to help LGBT kids and prevent them from killing themselves because he made an “arguably” (your word) transphobic comment? Take a step back. This kind of bitchiness within the community is what prevents us from moving forward.

    What Dan is doing is wonderful. Let’s tell it like it is.

  • Savage Apologist

    TL;DR: It’s too simplistic to call Dan Savage transphobic and to frame his efforts to do good as stemming from that transphobia after he’s allied himself with trans-issues far more than he’s campaigned against them.

    I don’t understand what it is about Savage Love and Dan Savage that encourages these very aggressively simplistic analyses of his actions. The things he said about Rob McKenna were indeed transphobic, but don’t carry the weight that justify characterizing Dan Savage as someone who ‘calls people transgender to insult them’.

    In the previous article discussing what happened between Savage and McKenna the author attributes the intention of the ‘attack’ as being to incite hate against McKenna, but it’s incredibly simple-minded to infer that Savage meant to suggest that McKenna should be hated for being trans. Analyzing the event on a relatively superficial level there are at least two other aspects that the article makes no mention of.
    The first, Dan Savage referred to McKenna as the “only LGBT elected official in the country” because he knew it would anger McKenna, exposing his (admittedly, already apparent) transphobia and desire to distance himself from LGBT communities. This isn’t necessarily a radical action on Savage’s part and really only operated to expose the homophobia of a politician who wasn’t making any effort to hide it.
    The second, Dan Savage was ironically referring to McKenna as a MTF transsexual who was turning his back on queers to be provocative, and redirect the transphobia of his conservative supporters, who happened to find the article and also believe the rumor, towards stopping McKenna on the grounds that they couldn’t support a trans-person.
    Are both of these motivations somewhat irresponsible? Certainly. Even if Savage was using ironic demonization of transfolks to turn pre-existing transphobia to a an ostensibly beneficial political end, he was doing so in a way where the action of exciting conservative transphobia and alienating the trans-folks he was supposedly helping may have been more damaging than the ends he hoped to achieve; smearing the name of an anti-queer politico wasn’t necessarily worth capitalizing on and emphasizing existing transphobia. However, to say that this action demonstrates that Dan Savage is transphobic and calls people ‘transgender as an insult’ is wilfully simplistic.

  • tallskin2

    Not sure what the f*ck the title is all about, but I like Dan Savage and support him 200% in this.

    We have a terrible problem here in the UK with anti gay bullying in schools and any little thing helps.

  • elle queue

    you’re dumb. dan savage is smart. i agree with everyone; are you seriously trying to paint savage as the problem? maybe you should be writing for the american family association instead of queerty. what side are you on? get a life!

  • Ogre Magi

    @elle queue: Queerty can be pretty goofy some times!

  • Cam

    SAvage made his comments in an article, and they had to be extrapolated out in order to find the insult within them.

    A little bit different than somebody coming up to a 5th grader and saying “Die Faggot”.

  • Darrell6tt

    Dan Savage may not be a hero, but he comes close. If you knew more about him you wouldn’t have written such a silly headline for this video.

  • unclemike

    Queerty, sometimes you try my fucking patience.

  • Raza

    To the editors of Queerty:
    WTF is the matter? You guys have so many issues with so many people- least all of all, gay people and their supporters! Like posting an article trashing GaGa, who is one of the biggest supporters of gay rights-no one could try harder than she does. I recommended you to my boyfriend, who doesn’t give a shit about gay news items, and he became really pissed off at your site after visiting twice. I’ve had days where your articles really depressed me, and made me feel frustrated-instead of encouraged or motivated.
    So, whatever the problem is, deal with it- your writing is suffering!!!!!!!!!!!!

    btw- your spelling/grammar sucks a lot, too.

  • Zed

    Normally I would refrain from chiming in amongst with the several others chastising Queerty for this, but in this case I cannot refrain.

    Dear Queerty,

    To get my true feelings out of the way, fuck off you stupid assholes–you disgust me. Now to be a bit more rational….

    Dan Savage has made mistakes. Who hasn’t? Surely, you at Queerty would understand how much it sucks to have people constantly berating you for them, as people so often do in comments?

    So let your gripes with Dan Savage go, and take a look at what you did. Dan Savage is trying to reach out to depressed gay teens and give them enough hope and perspective not to kill themselves. And for some inexcusable reason you think this is a good time to mock him and his project?

    I cannot believe that you ACTUALLY refuse to see the good side of Dan’s video, so I’m left to think that you are being the type of bitchy gay who is just trying to get attention and stir up some drama–putting on an act for attention while failing to do anything actually helpful for us gays. Isn’t that what you fault Katy Perry and Lady GaGa for?

    Cut the bullshit. Quit throwing stones. At the very least until you build a house made out of something less prone to shatter.

  • Zed

    @Zed: goddamnit fucking typo in the first line ::sigh::

  • El-Brucio

    Gosh Queerty, it’s almost as if you hate having people reading your website.

    But I guess our collective outrage is only giving you more pageviews for your advertisers, which will only encourage this kind of crap in the future.

    I think I’ll be going over to Towleroad for the next few months. You just aren’t worth the aggravation anymore.

  • Adam

    Dan Savage’s books helped me realize that coming out to my family would not be the end of the world. He’s an ass, he’s shoots from the hip, but he’s honest and does a lot to cut through the bullshit that is spewed by the Republicans, the Democrats, and Gay Inc. No he’s not perfect, but he’s one of the best gay role models out there right now.

  • Swedish Fish

    Fuck off, Queerty. Like you fags have done half the kind of social progress Dan Savage has. Go stuff yourselves.

  • Jeffree

    Dan Savage, bottom line, gets it right much more often than he gets it wrong.

    Talk with a group of 20-something folks or older and they’ll tell you how much Dan’s advice/responses mattered when they were coming out to family, friends, or colleagues.

    He’ll answer questions about anything. Even my str8 cousins read his column, because he tackles tough issues that no one else will touch. “Dear Abby” steers clear of that stuff.

    He also calls on “experts” when needed. Sure, he gets flippant at times, but there’s no doubt that he has done a lot to educate people of every sexual orientation, with every “ki.nk”.

    Anything he can do to reduce bullying against LGBTQ youth –or people who are perceived to be so — should be applauded. No reason to rake him over the coals for trying to make a difference, really now…..

  • Ben

    \@unclemike: Absolutely. I’m done with Queerty. There’s zero reason I should be indulging jaded old queens in my free time.

  • Felipe

    So in summation, by Queerty standards:

    Davey Wavey = living god

    Dan Savage = enemy to the gay cause

    Are you fucking kidding me?

  • Bobby in Seattle


    I agree. I can’t stand Davey Wavey. And I say that as a gay male. If Qweerty was to take “my” advice on anything, it would be, stop giving Davey Wavey air time. He’s a total gay embarrassment.

  • Andrew

    What Dan and Terry are doing in this clip is a fantastic idea. To give young kids a glimmer that high school life is not the be all and end all and that like a good bottle of wine it gets better each year. Don’t criticize over some tongue in cheek remark.

  • Alexa

    It’s articles like this that stopped me posting here, and eventually stopped me even reading here for the most part. I’m sure stirring up controversy over nothing is good for hits, but it doesn’t do anything to further LGBT rights. You’re getting to be as bad as Perez.


    Agree with all (mostly) above. Unfortunately the folks here in ……Savage sometimes pulls an asshat move, but the good he has done far outweighs any bad……….

    For some reason Queertyland sometimes spew a whole lot of poo at people who are on our side….Instead of aiming their barrels constantly at those who put the hurt on the Gays….

    A circular firing squad kinda sorta defeats the purpose……

  • Why All the h8? (John from England)



    Sad but minorities would rather turn on each other then help each other out of the gutter.

  • mm

    perhaps it’s devils advocate and page view ad clicks that were the purpose here.

  • Nightstalker

    Anonymous comments – such as mine, here – are bad enough and have expediently reduced the national discourse to a bunch of cowardly heckles from ill-tempered groundlings. For a website to be posting “controversial” stories under an assumed name like “JD” smacks of desperation for revenue, mouse clicks, and attention.

    As I commented in the GaGa post, it feels like the bloggers on this site are actually hiring Internet trolls now, or the head writers are writing certain posts under the “JD” moniker in order to stir things up. Fatal idea. What is an Internet troll if not someone who writes deliberately provocative or offensive posts in order to get a rise out of people? This is just as bad as those commentators who hated the Katy Pery parody video and called the stars “effeminate” on this website. (That was so depressing. WE don’t like effeminate gays? Personally, I’m an Effeminist so you people can all fuck yourselves.)

    But I think this blog post is just as bad as those comments. Not every story has to be a “takedown” piece and not everyone is deserving of mean-spirited coverage. It smacks of an amateur journalist trying to make his/her effeminate name.

    Are you going to reveal this to be an “I’m Not Here”-style performance art piece? Whatever the intention, I feel like this business strategy is going quickly eradicate whatever credibility the blog has, or is trying to have. Too bad – a smartly written blog for gay folk would be great.

  • JuanGallo

    things the queer community needs:
    more cattiness?

  • Marvin Vann

    Queerty, you have apparently lost all sense of proportion. It is growing tiresome.

  • Soupy

    I’ve been watching some of the postings on “It gets better”. They are incredibly moving, personal stories that reach out to kids directly. I would urge everyone who has the technology to make one of the videos and post it.

  • Betty V. Holcomb

    As a straight, domestic black, senior (65) female who has felt racism, ageism and male domination, I need to tell ANYONE who objects to what Dan says: Divide and conquer still works via people like you.

  • Briana

    Dan Savage is super transphobic, as has been noted on more than one occasion. He’s also biphobic. And an all around general asshole. I can forgive him for that last thing, but transphobia and biphobia are not okay.

  • Dave

    What a hypocrite! Savage loves to claim to GLBT youth that “it gets better” but then he’s biphobic and transphobic to bisexual and trans adults.

    I’ve never respected Savage on trans issues – or anything really – his smug, douchey column is full of fail with regard to anything that’s not cisgender, gay and male. And possibly there too.

    He likes to use “shemale” a lot as well and there’s the whole “omg bisexuals dont exist” fail.

  • Alex

    I love the idea for the It Gets Better Project, hell I was going to make a video in October for it. But I was busy with school work, and coming to terms with my gender identity (and my depression was on the rocks). I still love the idea of the project, it just means so much less to me; knowing that the founder is biphobic and transphobic. He’s such a hypocrite! It’s really sickening to me that someone who is suppose to tell LGBTQ kids that it gets so much better, is spouting hate at the minority in the community.

    We exist, Dan! The B and the T are not silent in LGBT. We aren’t invisible. Stop treating us like we are.

Comments are closed.