sex talk

Davey Wavey Rejects The Fallacy That Strict Tops Are More Masculine Than Bottoms

Internet arbiter of good taste Davey Wavey has two rules for all gay men: hang out with The Olds, and take it up the rectal cavity. Keep in mind this mandate for homosexual men comes from the same guy whose weight loss tips include telling yourself you’re disgusting, but maybe he’s got a point?

Playing both roles, at least a few times, isn’t just about seeking out new sources physical pleasure (although that’s part of it). Rather, argues Davey, getting strict tops to try out bottoming is a way of equalizing the power dynamics of sex — and society.

“Strict tops,” says Davey, “don’t want to bottom because they’re afraid of how much they’re gonna like it.” I’m not sure I’d entirely agree, although a certain percentage of strict tops would fall into this category. Rather, plenty of strict tops don’t want to bottom because playing receiver (or “passive” if you’re European, or a “zero” if you’re Chinese) somehow means you’re not as masculine as guys who only penetrate. “We never make fun of people for being tops,” says Davey, while bottoms get thrown into some fem category that’s second-class among gay men.

(Going off on a slight tangent, Davey says he feels “bad for close-minded straight guys that don’t engage in anal play because they’re missing out on really amazing feelings and intense sensations. I think for a lot of straight guys, they’re afraid that they’re really going to enjoy it, and then they’re gonna feel kinda gay, and that they’re less of a man.” Again, I don’t fully agree: Plenty of straight guys don’t even think about whether they’re “going to enjoy it,” because they’re so disgusted by the thought of sex in their poopy region.)

“Personally, I don’t think it makes you more of a man to be a strict top,” says Davey. And on that one, well, I fully concur.

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  • William

    “…this mandate for homosexual men comes from the same guy whose weight loss tips include telling yourself you’re disgusting…”

    You are taking Davey’s tips completely out of context. Did you even watch that video in its entirety?

  • Tim

    I once viewed another video by this imbecile and kept asking myself where a twit like this could get off being so simultaneously uninformed and smug at the same time while making idiotic assertions about the gay community. What an asshole.

  • Lefty

    Awww, he’s okay.

  • Ealan74

    ok, i’ve never watched any of DW’s blogs because he seems obnoxious, but he’s totally right on in this vid.

    Tim, what was he wrong about?

  • alan brickman

    Everybody should stop eating their jealousy and hit a gym already!!

  • Will

    Pretty good clip – wise advise.

  • Eric

    sheesh. put on a shirt, twatface.

  • Shannon


  • Soupy

    Believe me. It’s possible to dislike him without being jealous. And I do go to the gym. I also dislike Britney Spears. I’m not jealous of her.

  • Jay P

    Alan: “hit a gym already”…isn’t that in itself perpetuating masculine ideals? You don’t have to be muscular to be healthy (nor is it necessarily true that if you are muscular that you are healthy).

    I think the issue is a bit more complex, but Davey has a point, which I’m pretty sure he’s mentioned before.

    And no I’m not advocating being overweight or unhealthy — just thought I’d clarify that before some dumbass replies.

  • Ken S

    I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d really love for all the catty jerks on here who shoot down every single last thing that Dave says to start trying to refute him instead of merely dismissing. Every video there’s comment after comment, “shut up,” “you don’t know anything,” “what an idiot,” and so on. Well, boys, if he’s so utterly wrong in everything he says then put forward a counter-argument of your own. Participate constructively in a discussion, instead of just trying to shut it down. Say something that actually adds to the conversation. Put up or shut up yourselves, because shrilling “put a shirt on!” while saying nothing whatsoever to the argument he’s making does make you look jealous, and like you have nothing of worth to contribute. Petty sniping will never convince anyone of anything- except that you’re petty.

  • justiceontherocks

    This video reminds me of something Addison DeWitt said to 0laudia Casswell in “All About Eve” – “You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point nonetheless.”

  • Jim Hlavac

    Davey Wavey is just himself. He does what he does. So what? If you want it done right — do it yourself. He’s just a dude, making a living. Do what you do, stop the bitching.

  • Jim Hlavac

    Oh yah, years ago, in the printing industry in NYC, I kept running across straight guys who were quite sure that all gay guys were “catchers” — oral or otherwise. I asked them — “if we’re all catchers whom is doing the pitching?” They had no answer to the profound question. And I’m almost certain that most straight guys think that we’re all bottoms, or in straight-speak “Play the girl.” And so they find it hard to believe there are tops at all. And yet as many a joke has it — the more butch a man is, the more helium in his heels. It’s not such a clear thing, and who cares?

  • Soupy

    Still, it’s okay if I don’t like him and he annoys me, right? Isn’t anyone with an open blog who gives advice open to criticism?

  • justnow

    @alan brickman: you forgot the .com and i think every gay worth their salt knows that. you seem like a troll Alan

    @Jay P: nor masculine to be muscular thx otherwise Jay P, you seem like a troll Alan

    @Jim Hlavac: was it recorded? im always in for a laugh- thx Jim

  • ashton cruz

    I dont think it has anything to do with feeling less of a man if you bottom. I just don’t find any pleasure at all whatsoever in getting fucked. Tried it 3 times and yawn, what a bore. On the other hand give me a loud cockhungry bottom spread open on the bed and I’m like a starving ethiopian boy with a bowl of half cooked rice. Yum!!!!

    Next time you want to judge me for not wanting to get fucked think about the chance you just missed to get your pretty little pucker get feasted on, whore-shiped, slobbered, nibbled and then ultimately worked over by a cock who actually knows not only how to pound you silly but who also loves to take the time to get you off four or five times before the night is over without thinking you are less of a man for loving to bottom.

    The only people who think total tops feel bad about bottoming are the ones who actually feel less for actually loving it.

    Sincerely: A true total top.

  • Soupy

    Are you in porn? Or a porn writer?

  • Jay P

    @justnow: Yes yes, that totally invalidates my point. Get a life douche.

  • Christopher

    just because his ass is always in the air doesn’t mean we all need to behave like him!

  • alan brickman

    bring back morning goods so the whiners have something to complain about….

  • alan brickman

    working out does promote a positive view of yourselves…stop acting like a bunch of whiney “cat-ladies”…

  • alan brickman

    Davey is expressing an opinion…top or bottom doesn’t sound like hate speech…what happened to free speech??

  • Soupy

    Alan, don’t get hysterical. No one is saying that working out is bad, no one is calling what he does hate speech. Calling something stupid is not hate speech. It’s free speech. Have you taken your “mother’s little helper”?

  • Chris Rico

    It’s slightly ironic that you’re talking about how gays participate in this “I’m more masculine than you are” charade when you’re making that speech with your shirt off to display your huge muscles..I’m just saying.

  • Kusaka

    @ Ashton Cruz: Marry me please

  • rodrigo

    I agree with davey wavey, the whole idea of sex itself is just to basically discover what you like or you don’t like, but you can’t completely shut out your self and say you don’t like something when you haven’t even tried it (like the complete tops he talks about). Saying that, I can’t blame someone if they don’t like to top (or bottom) but I certainly think that the gay community has become very black and white when it comes to sexuality. If you are a top then you are assumed to be the more masculine one in a relationship and if you’re the bottom you are somehow the girl in the relationship. Whatever happened to versatility?

  • David K

    It takes a real man to get fucked in the ass.

  • Silver

    @David K: Seriously.

    As for the rest, I must say, as a committed bottom, that I personally don’t give a shit if someone wants to top all the time or bottom all the time. Someone who has only topped may not necessarily enjoy bottoming. Hell, they may not even be good at it, but that misses the point: they don’t have to do it. Is the nature of sex not wholly consensual? Each partner does what he/she wants to do, within the bounds of what their partner(s) want to do. Why should people do something that they have no desire to do? This sounds just like the straight people who say to me: “Oh, dude, if you’d just try a woman, you’d like it. How can you know you don’t like something you’ve never tried?”

  • adman

    Is it me, or did every OTHER gay man in the world get the memo to have sex however they like without defining our partner in degrading ways sometime before the age of….Oh, I dunno, 23? If we’re going to have to go through this shit yet again I want the entire nineties back! Back when Davey Wavey’s existence would have been as compelling as watching paint dry. Well, we have that part back, but still…

  • Spike

    I wonder if this guy is capable of having sex with any thing other then a mirror.

  • justiceontherocks

    @Spike: what makes you think a mirror would have anything to do with him?


    Way to go, DW! Keep blogging.

  • Jaeden

    @ashton cruz:

    my kind of man!

  • Jeremy Fitzroy

    I like to bottom for bottoms, and top tops, it’s really fun this way, I used to be strict top, until an ex who was really a good versatile. However most bottoms expect to be done, so what choice do I have? Haha

Comments are closed.