america votes!

David Mixner’s 6 Rules For Throwing Your Vote Away This Fall


I really like David Mixner’s six tips for choosing who to vote for in November, because they are not seven tips, and I can barely handle listicles involving five things, let alone any more than I can count on one hand, or perhaps Ellen Pompeo’s foot. Mixner also really loves listicles, and I love that he loves them. So much love is in the air right now.

Mixner’s first tip is to just vote, because “not to vote is just criminal in my mind.” (Mixner is wrong about this. It is not actually against the law to vote. I checked! But in Mixner’s mind, rainbows dance on unicorns, and in my mind about Mixner’s mind, I’m sitting there with a margarita on a passing cloud.) Also: “Do not contribute to Democratic Party entities.” Why? “Do you want your money to go to Senator Ben Nelson or Congressman Ike Skelton who oppose us to the hilt? If you contribute to the Party establishment then you are contributing to them.”

You are also contributing to lavish cocktail parties that Michaele and Tareq Salahi will probably crash, and that’s just unAmerican.