PUNKED(TUATION)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Supports “Gay Marriage” As Long As It’s In “Scare Quotes”

Yesterday The View‘s conservative co-hostess Elizabeth Hasselbeck defended anti-gay NOM spokesperson David Tyree as “a man of convictions”. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t support gay marriage. In fact she does support it—thanks ElizaBeck!—she just puts it in “scare quotes”, because y’know… wait… why did she put it in scare quotes?

Here’s some possible reasons she used “scare quotes” around gay marriage:

– She used the scare quotes because she’s scared of gay marriage the same way she’s scared of the Scissors Man chasing her around the sanitarium basement during a lightning storm (gurl has some freaky nightmares).

– She misused the quotes to signify that “gay marriage” is a thing… a buzzword, kinda like “anchor babies.”

– She doesn’t think “gay marriages” are real, kinda like “The Illuminati” or “Jews for Jesus.”

– She just has really really “bad punctuation skills.”