Ellen DeGeneres Doesn’t Appreciate Real Estate’s Phallic Luxuries

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It’s hard to keep track of Ellen DeGeneres‘ real estate holdings, because she and Portia di Rossi flip their properties so often. A couple years ago they dumped two of their homes on Woodrow Wilson Drive and Woodstock Road in Los Angeles (one went to Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams), then put their Montecito manse on the market for a cool $24 million. They had/have two homes on Zorada Drive, but might’ve sold those too, or maybe they still have them? Because Ellen and Portia enjoy buying homes and BUILDING WHOLE COMPOUNDS WITH THEM. Anyhow, because she is rich and famous, Ellen doesn’t need to cruise the newspaper’s real estate listings; she has a no-nonsense broker for that. But it doesn’t mean she can’t find the funnies in them. Particularly when they’ve got dick jokes.