Eurovision Song Contest–Listen Here

eurovision may 19

You think American Idol fever is intense? We in the church of Simon Cowell pale in comparison to the Eurovision Song Contest, which pits a contestant from each European country against each other in a show-down of music superiority. National pride has a lot to do with each finalists’ success, as people vote for their country first, and then think about talent later; but then so do Americans with our Idols, as is obvious when you consider how long Bucky Covington lasted in the competition.

To listen to the songs, go here and click on “semi-finalists” and “finalists” at the top of the page.

It’s interesting to note that Arsenium, Moldova’s contestant, is a former member of boy band O-Zone, who recorded the song made famous with the “Numa numa dance” that circulated the internet a few years ago. Perhaps more interesting, however, is Arsenium’s profile on as a sumbissive bottom. A GAY, “tie-me-up” submissive bottom named “Arsenicum.” How elegant. You can register for the site and see all the pics for yourself. Just don’t do it at work, you’ll get, like, totally fired.

Rather than attempt to decipher the good-vs-bad of European pop music–a genre more confusing to us than the appeal of John Tesh (look at the pics! the cowboys are a German pop band!)–go read the picks of internet gossip guru Popbitch, listed below:

>> Saturday, day of rockoning << Can death metal Finland lord it over Europe? It's Eurovision time again! Here is our run-down of our favourites, and what to watch out for. * Finland - Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah Vote, vote, vote! "On the day of Rockoning, ?It’s who dares, wins..." * Russia - Dima Bilan - Never Let You Go Beautiful song, bizarre staging. Watch out for the woman in the piano... * Britain - Daz Sampson - Teenage Life Probably the catchiest tune of the night. * Bosnia - Hari Mata Hari - Layla Classy traditional Balkan song, sung by the man known as "The Bosnian Pavarotti." * Greece - Anna Vissi - Everything 80s power ballad from one of Europe's biggest pop stars, Anna Vizzi. She's at Royal Albert Hall later in May. * Germany - Texas Lightning - No, No, Never Like Gwen Stefani singing country and western. Awesome. * Lithuania - LT United - We Are The Winners Post-modern joke, with group of old men in suits.

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