Five nurses were sternly reprimanded for ogling a dead man’s magnificent appendage

Attention, nurses of the world: It is officially never, ever okay to check out a dying man’s penis.

To emphasize this rule, The Denver Health Medical Center in Colorado just came down hard on five nurses, each of whom took turns sneaking glances at a dying man’s genitals before no doubt exchanging voluminous tee-hees.

According to Hornet, they continued “to look even after he died.”

No official word on what made this dead man’s penis so gasp-worthy, but our correspondents are investigating.

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The nurses weren’t fired for their ogling, but they were suspended, and the hospital’s press office worked hard on the following prepared statement:

Their actions, which violated our policies and our Code of Conduct, were promptly reported to appropriate governmental authorities, including the Denver Police Department and the Colorado State Board of Nursing. An internal Denver Health investigation resulted in disciplinary action against all those responsible for the incident and the patient’s next of kin was notified.

According to Denver District Attorney’s Office spokesman Ken Lane: “[Police] determined there was insufficient evidence to prove a crime was committed.”

No charges were ultimately filed.

Hospital spokesman Josh Rasmussen says each nurse was doled out “serious” discipline including “a notice of the discipline placed in their personnel files.”

No word on who caught the five nurses openly leering at a corpse’s magnificent cock.

Related: Man Who Shows Up For Jack’d Threesome Winds Up Meeting His Murderers Instead

The official hospital statement vaguely approximates regret:

“Denver Health is truly sorry this happened. This incident it is not an appropriate representation of the high-quality care and compassion our clinical staff strive to provide to our patients.”

According to The Daily Caller, the exceedingly well-endowed man endured all the ogling while all scrunched up inside a body bag.

Because he was dead.

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  • Chris

    If the man was dead, they were ogling a corpse. I’ll grant that is creepy in necrophilia sort of way; but they were not invading the privacy of another human being.

    • WillParkinson

      Technically they were invading the family’s privacy. They have a reasonable expectation that their loved one-live or dead-will be treated with dignity.

  • barkomatic

    “Attention, nurses of the world: It is officially never, ever okay to check out a dying man’s penis.

    To emphasize this rule, The Denver Health Medical Center in Colorado just came down hard on five nurses, each of whom took turns sneaking glances at a dying man’s genitals before no doubt exchanging voluminous tee-hees.”

    This implies that some of the ogling took place as the man was in the process of dying, which is particularly horrible. However, I’m guessing the author meant to say he was already dead, since he was already in a body bag. Still very disrespectful.

  • Alan down in Florida

    I realize that I am distracted by the hurricane barrelling my way but did I miss the part where the gender of the nurses looking was disclosed?

    • JARR25

      Exactly! Were they male Nurses?! I hope so!

  • jkb

    The family was notified? Um, yeah some nurses were checking out your Dad’s big dick.

    Must have been a pleasant conversation

  • NateOcean

    As usual Queerty chopped up the story.
    The nurses were checking out the guy’s junk *while* he laid dying.
    After he passed away, some nurses checked him out in the morgue.
    Another nurse overheard the nurses talking about the incident, and reported it.
    The nurses were disciplines. One quit (wasn’t fired).

  • JLAD1105

    If nurses (male or female) were caught ogling at a dying or dead woman’s massive breasts, they’d be fired without so much as a hearing. It would also make national news, as Dr. Phil, Dr. Drew, Gloria Allred, Ashleigh Banfield and Nancy Grace weighed in on the level of disrespect the nurses had for the patient. They’d then tie it to the mythical war on women and the non-existent epidemic of sexual assault on college campuses and in the military. Just like when a White female goes missing or turns up dead, every major newspaper in the country would have the story on their front pages as soon as it was revealed and all the primary TV news networks would begin their evening broadcasts with the events. Perhaps a state police agency and even the FBI would get involved, and just about every employee of that hospital would be dragged before a public tribunal to be questioned on what they might have seen / or heard.

    But, because the patient is male, the response is like, ‘Oh well, shit happens.’

    • Ander

      I’m guessing you routinely seek out opportunities to put your unfortunate misogyny fully on display.
      If indeed the response to this incident had been “oh well, shit happens,” the nurses wouldn’t have been suspended, and we wouldn’t be reading about it now.
      Incidentally, your obvious misogyny apparently prevented you from considering the distinct possibility that the nurses in question are male.

  • JPinNC

    They deserved to be fired. And I’m sure after the family of the deceased sues, they will be. Example..working in a financial institution.. just because you can look up someone/anyone doesn’t mean you have the right to look at their balances and personal information. You will be fired by the end of the day. If there isn’t a reason to look up a client or patient, you are committing a code of ethics violation. These nurses clearly did that and even went over the line by looking at his incapacitated/deceased body. Really stupid mistake for all that education to never be hired again for an ethics violation.

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