Looking?!

Five nurses were sternly reprimanded for ogling a dead man’s magnificent appendage

Attention, nurses of the world: It is officially never, ever okay to check out a dying man’s penis.

To emphasize this rule, The Denver Health Medical Center in Colorado just came down hard on five nurses, each of whom took turns sneaking glances at a dying man’s genitals before no doubt exchanging voluminous tee-hees.

According to Hornet, they continued “to look even after he died.”

No official word on what made this dead man’s penis so gasp-worthy, but our correspondents are investigating.

Related: Flip Flops And Armpits And Corpses, Oh My! Guys Describe Favorite Fetishes

The nurses weren’t fired for their ogling, but they were suspended, and the hospital’s press office worked hard on the following prepared statement:

Their actions, which violated our policies and our Code of Conduct, were promptly reported to appropriate governmental authorities, including the Denver Police Department and the Colorado State Board of Nursing. An internal Denver Health investigation resulted in disciplinary action against all those responsible for the incident and the patient’s next of kin was notified.

According to Denver District Attorney’s Office spokesman Ken Lane: “[Police] determined there was insufficient evidence to prove a crime was committed.”

No charges were ultimately filed.

Hospital spokesman Josh Rasmussen says each nurse was doled out “serious” discipline including “a notice of the discipline placed in their personnel files.”

No word on who caught the five nurses openly leering at a corpse’s magnificent cock.

Related: Man Who Shows Up For Jack’d Threesome Winds Up Meeting His Murderers Instead

The official hospital statement vaguely approximates regret:

“Denver Health is truly sorry this happened. This incident it is not an appropriate representation of the high-quality care and compassion our clinical staff strive to provide to our patients.”

According to The Daily Caller, the exceedingly well-endowed man endured all the ogling while all scrunched up inside a body bag.

Because he was dead.

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11 Comments

  • Chris

    If the man was dead, they were ogling a corpse. I’ll grant that is creepy in necrophilia sort of way; but they were not invading the privacy of another human being.

    • WillParkinson

      Technically they were invading the family’s privacy. They have a reasonable expectation that their loved one-live or dead-will be treated with dignity.

  • barkomatic

    “Attention, nurses of the world: It is officially never, ever okay to check out a dying man’s penis.

    To emphasize this rule, The Denver Health Medical Center in Colorado just came down hard on five nurses, each of whom took turns sneaking glances at a dying man’s genitals before no doubt exchanging voluminous tee-hees.”

    This implies that some of the ogling took place as the man was in the process of dying, which is particularly horrible. However, I’m guessing the author meant to say he was already dead, since he was already in a body bag. Still very disrespectful.

  • Alan down in Florida

    I realize that I am distracted by the hurricane barrelling my way but did I miss the part where the gender of the nurses looking was disclosed?

    • JARR25

      Exactly! Were they male Nurses?! I hope so!

  • jkb

    The family was notified? Um, yeah some nurses were checking out your Dad’s big dick.

    Must have been a pleasant conversation

  • NateOcean

    As usual Queerty chopped up the story.
    The nurses were checking out the guy’s junk *while* he laid dying.
    After he passed away, some nurses checked him out in the morgue.
    Another nurse overheard the nurses talking about the incident, and reported it.
    The nurses were disciplines. One quit (wasn’t fired).

  • JLAD1105

    If nurses (male or female) were caught ogling at a dying or dead woman’s massive breasts, they’d be fired without so much as a hearing. It would also make national news, as Dr. Phil, Dr. Drew, Gloria Allred, Ashleigh Banfield and Nancy Grace weighed in on the level of disrespect the nurses had for the patient. They’d then tie it to the mythical war on women and the non-existent epidemic of sexual assault on college campuses and in the military. Just like when a White female goes missing or turns up dead, every major newspaper in the country would have the story on their front pages as soon as it was revealed and all the primary TV news networks would begin their evening broadcasts with the events. Perhaps a state police agency and even the FBI would get involved, and just about every employee of that hospital would be dragged before a public tribunal to be questioned on what they might have seen / or heard.

    But, because the patient is male, the response is like, ‘Oh well, shit happens.’

    • Ander

      I’m guessing you routinely seek out opportunities to put your unfortunate misogyny fully on display.
      If indeed the response to this incident had been “oh well, shit happens,” the nurses wouldn’t have been suspended, and we wouldn’t be reading about it now.
      Incidentally, your obvious misogyny apparently prevented you from considering the distinct possibility that the nurses in question are male.

  • JPinNC

    They deserved to be fired. And I’m sure after the family of the deceased sues, they will be. Example..working in a financial institution.. just because you can look up someone/anyone doesn’t mean you have the right to look at their balances and personal information. You will be fired by the end of the day. If there isn’t a reason to look up a client or patient, you are committing a code of ethics violation. These nurses clearly did that and even went over the line by looking at his incapacitated/deceased body. Really stupid mistake for all that education to never be hired again for an ethics violation.

  • emer12

    Re the Denver 5 perverts: Of course these animals were female: this sort of thing happens every day, numerous times, in hospitals and clinics across the U.S! It’s just not reported, as female nurses protect their own. It’s a safe bet that the manager who simply slapped the wrists of these perverts was a former female floor nurse who enjoyed the same kind of voyeurism. Just reverse the sexes of everyone involved, and you’ll see how ugly it is! Male nurses that committed voyeurism on a female client would not only be identified and fired, but would face serious charges via the BON and possibly criminal charges of sexual voyeurism, which is a felony – they might even do time in prison.
    Yes, these female committed a serious crime; let’s look at Colorado’s statue which falls under sexual assault/rape: “The actor, while purporting to offer a medical service, engages in treatment or examination of a victim for other than a bona fide medical purpose or in a manner substantially inconsistent with reasonable medical practices.” And this: “The victim is physically helpless and the actor knows the victim is physically helpless and the victim has not consented.” This crime can be charged in Denver County, Colorado, or other Colorado counties as either a Class 2, 3 or 4 felony, and is often referred to as rape.
    These criminals (and yes they are animals as another referred to them), should be publicly identified so at least we know who they are and can reject them if they try to provide “care.”! And to violate the deceased – this action shows just how perverted these females are!
    It’s open season on male clients! No wonder males avoid the corrupt US sickcare industry! That female workers, especially nurses, violate the privacy of male clients ALL THE DAMN TIME is the sickcare industry’s dirtiest secret! Federal law requires that any medical group that accepts federal funds via Medicare, Medicaid, etc. has to provide same gender care for BOTH SEXES! Clinics and hospitals violate this law thousands of times each day! I am a female and am horrified at the extremely low morals of those who are supposed to be our “advocates.” Yeah, they’re advocating alright – for their enjoyment of sexual voyeurism! No one but the client’s assigned caregiver has any right or business to be viewing that client, and only for medical purposes. It is time to remove all females from intimate care of male clients! The sickcare hags will scream about this – they don’t want to give up their false sense of entitlement to view any and all male genitals! As one male client asked: If it’s no big deal to see male genitals, then WHY IS IT SUCH A BIG DEAL NOT TO SEE THEM? They can never answer that one!
    A male friend of mine was sexually battered by a female NP. I will never again leave him alone for one second with female medical personnel, especially nurses. THEY ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED! This sort of incident speaks volumes of the corrupt, female dominated nursing industry. If he has to be hospitalized, I’ll stay in his room to protect him. What a shame we have to protect our loved ones (males that is!) from female predators.

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