For $40/Month, Mormons Will Make This Country Safer

Having proven their tenacity to generate millions of dollars to strip away the rights of Californians, Mormons are now overtaking a business whose basic premise is “we make America safer.” [NYT]

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6 Comments

  • vernonvanderbilt

    Does this business specialize in marketing Do-It-Yourself Suicide Kits to Mormons? That would make America a lot safer.

  • Joanaroo

    Ha! Ha! I like that V.V.! Believe it or not, former missionaries are going door-to-door and cold calling, selling home security systems. Not only do they sell a sucker-uh, customer a security system, but also a good amount of pure Moron-uh, Mormon lies and hate! Should be selling Bullshit detecters! Beware of calls from Pinnacle Security of Utah!

  • vernonvanderbilt

    @Joanaroo: Shit. I wish a Mormon would come knocking on my door. There isn’t any amount of training that could prepare them for the tongue lashing that awaits them once they cross my threshold. Evil bastards.

  • Joanaroo

    Hi V.V.! I was thinking too that alot of companies stopped door-to-door sales ages ago due to over-development of housing and peoples work schedules, etc. These fools will get chewed out, physically thrown out, and likely in some cases you’ll probably see a Mormon running down the street with a shotgun in a personal spot! I would never do door-to-door anything in this day and age.

  • vernonvanderbilt

    @Joanaroo: Well, I don’t know what the current numbers are for D2D sales. I know I did it myself, very briefly, many years ago, pushing Kirby vacuums. It’s shit work, entirely, and you have to put up with a lot of horrible people to do it. I think my time at that job just about matches with the period when I began to lose faith in humanity.

    Of course, I’m a terrible salesman who spent more money to have the job than I made. Call me crazy, but my conscience wouldn’t permit me to push obviously poor people into spending $2000+ on a vacuum cleaner. There were a couple of instances where I all but talked people out of it. My soul felt good, but my wallet sure didn’t. You have to be at least a little evil to go into that type of sales. No surprise that the Mormons are latching onto it.

  • bek

    when the mormons come a-knocking on my door i just offer them a beer. that’s a guaranteed way to get rid of them.

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