Robert Zimmerman had always felt like something of a disappointment to his parents. Or the way he tells it — “Unemployed. College dropout. With a DWI and a boyfriend.”
But in 2012, he did have one thing going for him. He didn’t shoot and kill an unarmed black teenager like his little brother, George.
And that ended up being an unlikely ticket to the fifteen-minute spotlight for Robert, as he appeared on scores of media outlets, playing the part of soft-spoken family savior. The “Zimmerman re-brander.”
In a recent profile for GQ, we get a sense of what the Zimmermans life has been like in the years since the shooting. And let’s just say the piece doesn’t do them any favors.
But it’s his gay brother Robert that really had us doing double-takes. Much of the reporting reads like satire (except for the fact that it’s all true), painting a pretty dark picture of the mind of a true opportunist.
For instance, Robert was hell-bent on turning George into a reality TV star:
“[Robert’s] models were John Walsh, who began hosting America’s Most Wanted after his 6-year-old son was abducted and killed, and the Kardashians, whose fame was launched by Kim’s leaked sex tape. “I learn a lot from watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” Robert told me. “Like, use the shit you’ve got.” One idea was for George to be the focus of a Candid Camera-style program. One episode, for example, might feature a professor teaching a class about self-defense, and at the end of the episode it would be revealed—surprise!—that George was one of the students.”
Which sounds like a good idea compared to his plan to turn George’s “brand” into a line of home-security tools marketed to women. Yes. Really.
“They all start with Z,” Robert explained, walking me through an imagined product line. “There’s the Z Bar, the Z Rock, and the Z Beam. They’re all targeted to women. One is to secure sliding doors. One is to put in the front door. The light is to carry and is designed by George. It has a little alarm—you know, Help me, help me!”
Other horrific quotes include Robert explaining why he and his brother couldn’t travel on February 26th, the anniversary of the shooting. Or as the Zimmermans call it — “the incident.”
“It is like 9/11 for my family! We can’t travel together that day—it’s like having the whole royal family travel together!”
Then to really round out the picture, there’s this simultaneously sad and horrible account of Robert after the family had racked up a $3,600 bill at the Ritz-Carlton Miami during a CNN appearance. They thought CNN would cover the costs but the network instead accused them of “splurging shamelessly on [their] dime.”
“Alone in his room, Robert started shaking. He wrapped all the blankets around him, ordered shrimp, chain-smoked cigarettes, got roaring drunk. Nothing helped. He called his mother in a panic. “I can’t get warm,” he sobbed. “I just can’t get warm.”
…Eventually CNN agreed to pay the bill, and the next morning Robert returned the only purchases he could: a bottle of Mercedes-Benz cologne and a Ritz-Carlton wallet that George had bought him to say thanks.”
You can read the full profile on the intensely paranoid Zimmerman family in GQ.
I guess this family hasn’t learned that in some situations, silence is
Bad Ass Biker
Thanks for the GQ link but this is as much as I want to read about that loser.
Wow, so in his family HE’S the good one??
Too bad he’s such a douchebag, he’s kinda cute.
He’s cute, but a lot of crazy guys are, soooooo.
Good lord that family is just the bottom of barrel in DNA contest.
@DarthKitsune: The fact you’re even willing to call him “cute” says a lot about you.
OMG. This guy is really one sick cookie.
@Bromancer7: Same for you. “Cute” really?! It says a lot about your character and priorities.
He seemed like a nice thoughtful guy in interviews. My biggest problem was that he kept condemning “the liberal media,” making him sound like some Right Wing politician. As for the Z-security products targeted at women, I wonder what his ex-wife and girlfriend thought. They were both victims of Zimmerman’s [alleged] abuse, where the police was called.
@lovelivelife: You’re an idiot. There’s nothing wrong with finding someone attractive. Sometimes people might be huge assholes, but still just so happen to be “cute-looking”. Just because you find someone attractive, it doesn’t mean you like or respect that person (which those guys clearly stated they think Robert is a douche/crazy). It’s not like Robert is the one who killed the kid, he just happens to be related to him
@lovelivelife: How so? “Cute” is a physical trait that has nothing to do with the person’s character or ethics. Plenty of unsavory men are cute. One of the most notable was “model prisoner,” Jeremy Meeks. How does @Bromancer7 finding him cute indicate ANYTHING about his “character or priorities”? Where did he say that Zimmerman’s physical appearance trumps every other attribute? Sounds like you were projecting. You even claimed that it revealed, “a lot.” Really? The ONLY thing it reveals is his physical taste in men.
However, the fact that you need to be so judgmental and holier-than-though DOES say a lot about you. And it’s not good.
What a nut job, at least he isn’t as fat as his brother, guess thats the only positive for him.
Gay or not, this family is a bunch of losers. What’s with all these reality shows? Who really cares what goes on in the Kardasian group? Why bother to watch them. Is your life so pathetic you have to absorb their?
@lovelivelife: I completely agree. How shallow that some people bring looks into EVERYTHING. If someone is a scumbag, someone with morals would automatically be turned off from them regardless of their looks. The fact that people even bring up his “looks” (which aren’t anything special anyway) shows how pathetic some people are.
@MrKev: Ok some of you need to dial down the outrage a notch. He did call him a duchebag after all.
@ronnie_m: Sorry I tend to not find killers and the supporters of a killer attractive. I guess it’s my bad for expecting that of others. I wonder if these idiots would still find Zimmerman’s brother attractive if Zimmerman had killed someone gay(and not of color). Does a black life just have less worth to them?
@lovelivelife: Well, this was a fun and nutty detour (and pretty par for the course for any comments board) I also think Robert is cute, although I admit I wouldn’t have bothered to say that if those who did hadn’t been bombarded with such vinegary, crotchety, judgmental old lady replies. That’s what a comments board is for; blurting out all those off-the-cuff, casual and even irrelevant remarks that we all say, and that pre-Internet nobody heard but us and the person we were passing the joint to.
Also, the Zimmerman verdict was entirely right and just; and I say that as someone who holds him responsible for Trayvon Martin’s tragic death (and anyone who thinks there’s a contradiction there should pick up a law book)
He is cute. A loser. But cute.
Hey, it’s Florida. Even paranoids want their own Disneyworld.
Well, if he wanted to make some money he should have gone into porn.
I donot care how”CUTE” he is he is a asshole just like his brother Georgie i guess it runs in the family ….
I guess all the zimmerman guys are fat ugly slime bags, oh well.
The commenters here pointing out the fact that they find him “cute” just highlights a bigger issue in society. Unfortunately those considered “attractive” will most likely get ahead, get away and get a free pass in society no matter how disgusting they are personality wise. Robert Zimmerman may be “cute” but he’s definitely a psychotic mess.
@DuMaurier: “(and anyone who thinks there’s a contradiction there should pick up a law book).”
You’re a fucking moron.
A family of losers should never constitute news, but I guess if their behavior is extreme enough the media can’t resist.
@SportGuy: DNA might have a role in it, too. It’s easy enough to write off bad character as a result of upbringing or trauma, but sometimes a person just has really crappy genes.
Thank God for recessive genes. In any rotten family, there’s a chance a few people will turn out OK because they weren’t meant to be jerks.
Grifters gonna grift.
With some people you wonder who pissed in their gene pool. With the Zimmermans it’s pretty clear that someone took a HUGE dump in theirs.
When I saw this piece of trash on Bill Maher a while back, you could tell that he is another of a multitude of delusional people who think they are important because, HEY, they are important in their own minds.
This guy is an idiot, that doesn’t mean that he can’t be found attractive. Look at Ted Bundy. People still think of him as very handsome and yet he was worse. He was a serial murderer.
And lest we forget that this dumbass didn’t commit the crime. He tried taking advantage of a bad situation, and didn’t/doesn’t have the brain cells to see how tacky that was, but that’s nothing to do with his looks.
If he’s attractive, he’s attractive, if he’s not, he’s not. Don’t go bashing someone who doesn’t agree with thoughts that maybe make you feel uncomfortable.
@SportGuy: Don’t be so sure. He’s been steadily putting on weight. Have you seen the photo taken when he got a DWI? Nonetheless, his eyes are as psychotic looking as his brother’s.
@lovelivelife: Oh, come on guys. Let’s give each other some slack. Guys by nature are very visual. Why else do most of us watch porn while women tend to read far more romance novels? While I think George Zimmerman is a murderer with a compulsion to feel self-righteous — and the parade of family members defending his actions just made me sick – I did notice how clean-cut and photogenic his brother Robert looked on TV. Now, I’m thinking whoever loaned George that suit for court probably loaned a suit to his brother for TV. We all notice people who are attractive physically without knowing anything about their personalities or character. It doesn’t mean we’d disregard or not notice other deficits/flaws when they’re revealed. I guess Robert’s overexposure in the wake of the “incident” should have been a hint. Anyone with anything going for themselves would have put more distance between himself and a family member like George Zimmerman.
So true story… A great person I know from my neighborhood has issues. People who just meet Joe think he is a meth head but he’s not. He is paranoid schizophrenic and has to sell his meds to survive in a world that has tagged and labeled him in the wrong category. Who the fuck are these Zimmermans?
@MrKev wrote “How shallow that some people bring looks into EVERYTHING. If someone is a scumbag, someone with morals would automatically be turned off from them regardless of their looks. The fact that people even bring up his ‘looks’ (which aren’t anything special anyway) shows how pathetic some people are.”
No, the only “pathetic” people in this discussion are people who have a need to judge other users and tell them what to post, and what to feel. You’re sadly similar to homophobes who tell gays it’s disgusting and immoral to lust men, and those who say that homosexuality may be natural, but like alcoholism, it should be suppressed.
In case you’re clueless, what we find attractive is not a conscious decision. And I say that as someone with a graduate background in sexuality. Sure, we can suppress those feelings with Aversion Therapy, which you seem to support. After all, you wrote, “someone with morals would AUTOMATICALLY be turned off from them regardless of their looks.” Oh really? Care to cite the research that shows this “automatic” psychological mechanism? I just searched PsychLit and no such paper exists. But clearly, you know better. So please explain the AUTONOMIC psychological and physiological processes involved, where no CONSCIOUS intervention is necessary. And if you admit that conscious intervention is needed, then it’s no longer automatic — and you’d support Aversion Therapy for those who don’t have the self-control that YOU think we should have.
Then there’s your need for exaggeration, superlatives and unwarranted assumptions. For example, you claimed that some “people bring looks into EVERYTHING.” Everything? On what do you base that? A few Queerty posts? How do you know how these people act offline? One of the first things I taught in Statistics 101 and Epistemology/Logic is to avoid absolutist descriptors like “everything” because just one counterexample will prove you wrong.
Finally, how megalomaniacal of you to assume that YOU hold the yardstick for subjective factors like morality and attraction. For example, “If someone is a scumbag…” and “someone with morals…” Are you implying that there are OBJECTIVE definitions for “scumbag” and “morals”? Care to show me this UNIVERSAL scale of scumbags and morality? Who administers it? Fundamentalist Christians? Indeed, how is your attitude any different from the Religious Right — or radical Muslims like ISIS — who think that others should live by their moral code? Most ridiculous of all is your statement that his “looks…aren’t anything special” as if that’s relevant to anyone else.
Seriously, consider getting some professional help to see why you have this need to judge and condemn others. And why you think you hold the yardstick for morality, appearance, lust, etc. Finally, learn a little Psych 101 to see why your “automatic” mechanism supports Aversion/Reparative Therapy. Think about it.
Since the first time I saw Robert in an interview, I wondered if he was gay.
BTW I can understand standing by your brother, but trying to make money off
of the “incident” is scummy.
you left out the part about he almost had sex with a female cable tv news reporter.
LOL, no I hadn’t. Don’t think I want to, he was never attractive and always pudgy, guess he will end up just as fat or fatter than his slime brother, LOL>
All I gotta say.
This family and the Palins should team up for a reality show that nobody will want to watch. They were made for each other.
Is anybody really surprised that the whole fucked-up family is crazy? In-bred, right-wing morons, all of them!
If you live by the gun you shall die by the gun. I still can’t believe how that brother of his got away with murder and is enjoying the life of a celebrity.
Keep on, George. One day you will get yours. You killed a kid because you could not wait to kill someone. Opportunity knocked and you pounced on it. I do hope Trayvon got in some good licks on you fat, lazy ass before you got to your gun.
Comments are closed.