Girl Has Wisdom Teeth Removed, Tells Mom She Needs Ryan Gosling’s White Dick

Screen Shot 2014-07-16 at 1.54.27 PMPeople usually talk a whole lot of nonsense in the post-surgery, anesthesia-fueled high that occurs after they’ve had their wisdom teeth pulled.

But this girl right here is speaking only the truth — thoughts shared unanimously by the population of planet Earth — in her post-dentist high that has gone viral on Vine.

“I want to have sex with Ryan Gosling,” she whispers to her mother, moments before she informs everyone in the room that she “wants to fuck white dick.”

“I just want to be a Kardashian,” she laments in the series of now-deleted Vines, captured conveniently by YouTuber Dee Cazz and immortalized forever on the Internet. “Is this what marijuana feels like? Cause I don’t like it,” she adds.

A true American hero.

h/t Gawker