TRUTH TEA

Girl Has Wisdom Teeth Removed, Tells Mom She Needs Ryan Gosling’s White Dick

Screen Shot 2014-07-16 at 1.54.27 PMPeople usually talk a whole lot of nonsense in the post-surgery, anesthesia-fueled high that occurs after they’ve had their wisdom teeth pulled.

But this girl right here is speaking only the truth — thoughts shared unanimously by the population of planet Earth — in her post-dentist high that has gone viral on Vine.

“I want to have sex with Ryan Gosling,” she whispers to her mother, moments before she informs everyone in the room that she “wants to fuck white dick.”

“I just want to be a Kardashian,” she laments in the series of now-deleted Vines, captured conveniently by YouTuber Dee Cazz and immortalized forever on the Internet. “Is this what marijuana feels like? Cause I don’t like it,” she adds.

A true American hero.

h/t Gawker

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9 Comments

  • DB75

    Oh Matthew – this is hilarious!!!! I’m crying over here!! Thank you for the laugh!!!!

  • lykeitiz

    Girl, you have to choose. Either you want to s**k white d**k, -OR- you want to be a Kardashian. The two don’t go together.

  • Blackceo

    @lykeitiz:

    LOL Yeah except for Kourtney who seems to be the only one to buck that trend.

  • Billy Budd

    This was not spontaneous. It was rehearsed. But it is funny nonetheless. I would like to Kiss, Suck and Fuck Ryan Gosling too.

  • masc4masc

    Who doesn’t?

  • erasure25

    That doctor is hot!!

  • NateOcean

    That’s funny, I said exactly the same thing about Ryan Gosling…

    …and I wasn’t even under the influence.

  • Cee

    @NateOcean: LOL

  • SteveDenver

    @lykeitiz: You made me B-O-L! (Bust Out Laughing)

    This is a golden video. I’m sure she’ll be more popular than ever.

Comments are closed.