A Sexplanation

This guy wanted to free himself of sexual shame. So he made a documentary about it.

What does it mean to be a healthy sexual being?

Answering that question is why I made my sex education documentary, A Sexplanation. After a year spent mostly in isolation, it’s clearer than ever that for the health of all humans, we need a sexual revolution that truly prioritizes pleasure, intimacy, and connection.

As we all prepare to reemerge from quarantine, this is the perfect time to think about a fresh beginning for your sex life. Because right now, we’re in a miserable place.

Related: Watch this cute Asian guy win the threesome of his dreams by testing his knowledge of STIs

Forty percent of adults report symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorder, four times higher than usual. One of the common symptoms? Anhedonia, or the inability to feel pleasure.

Thus, fighting for (responsible) pleasure is needed more than ever. But despite how far we’ve advanced with queer rights, we’re still a society that’s uncomfortable with queer pleasure.

How honest are you about what turns you on?

Growing up, no one ever affirmed any aspect of my sexuality—let alone being queer.

And things in 2021 aren’t much better. When it comes to sex education, only 11 states plus DC teach students that queer people are normal. Six states go as far as to teach that homosexuality is bad. Thirty-one states stress the importance of abstinence until marriage.

From an early age, we’re only taught about sex as a risk. No sex-ed curriculum explores sex as the ultimate expression of pleasurable human connection. We learn all the ways to say no to sex—but not all the ways to say yes.

So it’s totally understandable how Americans end up uncomfortable advocating for sexual pleasure as a necessary component of their health.

It’s time to come out for healthy pleasure.

Before making this movie, I didn’t quite realize how much sexual shame I still had.

But six years ago, I’d have been too squeamish to publically declare my love of bottoming. Or that masturbation is key to my well-being. Or that when it comes to porn, taboo fantasies really get me off (give me an unethical power imbalance and I’m done).

However, it’s one thing to understand you carry unhealthy sexual shame. It’s another thing entirely to actually free yourself from it. But if the last year has taught us anything, it’s that life is short. And once we’re all able to safely gather in person, do we want to live another second disconnected from what makes life worth living?

Shedding sexual shame is why I made A Sexplanation. With my background as a science reporter, I found premiere sex researchers, educators, and thinkers (including a Jesuit priest!) to finally ask some of my deepest, darkest questions about sex.

It’s time to shed baggage. It’s time to move forward. It’s time to truly get in touch with ourselves. After this year, we fucking deserve it.

So when you reemerge this summer, what if you came out as yourself this time?

A Sexplanation is streaming online at film festivals right now.