What does it mean to be a healthy sexual being?
Answering that question is why I made my sex education documentary, A Sexplanation. After a year spent mostly in isolation, it’s clearer than ever that for the health of all humans, we need a sexual revolution that truly prioritizes pleasure, intimacy, and connection.
As we all prepare to reemerge from quarantine, this is the perfect time to think about a fresh beginning for your sex life. Because right now, we’re in a miserable place.
Related: Watch this cute Asian guy win the threesome of his dreams by testing his knowledge of STIs
How about we take this to the next level?
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Forty percent of adults report symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorder, four times higher than usual. One of the common symptoms? Anhedonia, or the inability to feel pleasure.
Thus, fighting for (responsible) pleasure is needed more than ever. But despite how far we’ve advanced with queer rights, we’re still a society that’s uncomfortable with queer pleasure.
How honest are you about what turns you on?
Growing up, no one ever affirmed any aspect of my sexuality—let alone being queer.
And things in 2021 aren’t much better. When it comes to sex education, only 11 states plus DC teach students that queer people are normal. Six states go as far as to teach that homosexuality is bad. Thirty-one states stress the importance of abstinence until marriage.
From an early age, we’re only taught about sex as a risk. No sex-ed curriculum explores sex as the ultimate expression of pleasurable human connection. We learn all the ways to say no to sex—but not all the ways to say yes.
So it’s totally understandable how Americans end up uncomfortable advocating for sexual pleasure as a necessary component of their health.
It’s time to come out for healthy pleasure.
Before making this movie, I didn’t quite realize how much sexual shame I still had.
But six years ago, I’d have been too squeamish to publically declare my love of bottoming. Or that masturbation is key to my well-being. Or that when it comes to porn, taboo fantasies really get me off (give me an unethical power imbalance and I’m done).
However, it’s one thing to understand you carry unhealthy sexual shame. It’s another thing entirely to actually free yourself from it. But if the last year has taught us anything, it’s that life is short. And once we’re all able to safely gather in person, do we want to live another second disconnected from what makes life worth living?
Shedding sexual shame is why I made A Sexplanation. With my background as a science reporter, I found premiere sex researchers, educators, and thinkers (including a Jesuit priest!) to finally ask some of my deepest, darkest questions about sex.
It’s time to shed baggage. It’s time to move forward. It’s time to truly get in touch with ourselves. After this year, we fucking deserve it.
So when you reemerge this summer, what if you came out as yourself this time?
A Sexplanation is streaming online at film festivals right now.
Discover more
Kangol2
This looks really interesting so I hope to catch it once it leaves the film festival circuit and appears on one of the main streaming platforms. Alex Liu is a cutie, too.
doristhom
xmeet.fun – exelent project for adults who are looking for a partner for sex!
WindChime
What’s so frightfully disturbing about this guy is that he seems to have lost his sexual moral compass and feels no shame whatsoever about his embrace of disgusting porn in general and more alarmingly his creepy “taboo fantasies”. Throughout one’s life, one needs to strive to discern the right from the wrong and not just using sex for self indulgent pleasure. It’s just too bad that while he is better looking than most other Asian guys, he has clearly chosen the wrong path when it comes to sex education.
ronniebs
Wind chime: Sex shamers like you is the reason he made the documentary. That added racist comment just further validated just how ignorant you are.
yendor808
Oh Windy, Chiming in yet again with all your puritanical BS. As consenting adults we should all be allowed to decide what’s right or wrong for ourselves and have the freedom to make our own choices. Your over the top judgement on so many different levels is always beyond comprehension. You’ve made your choices how you want to live and that’s fine. It’s only fair to allow others to do the same. Thank goodness not everyone feels like you–because it would make the world a most intolerable, uninteresting and thoroughly boring place.
Robothedestroyer
Keep on chuga-chuga-chuga trollin’ ma’friend lulz.
BoomerMyles
Are you from the frickin 50”s or Victorian era?
tjack47
I’m completely supportive of this idea.
Robothedestroyer
I like this. He’s right, maybe a year without nookie loosed some people up a but (or, rather didn’t lol).
ptn2719
“As we all prepare to reemerge from quarantine…”
News flash: COVID is not going to end. I have no plans to emerge from quarantine anytime soon.
radiooutmike
I thought I was down with all the self-shame, until the past few weeks came about.
I still shame myself for what I find sexually intriguing.
Godabed
“WTF America” is spot on.
HMFan
This is exactly why we need a nationally-sanctioned, completely comprehensive, and judgment-free sex education curriculum in our schools. Jesus, we’re in the 21st century and we discuss sex with our children the way they used to discuss witchcraft in the 1800’s: with whispers, nervous glances, and fairy tales (no pun intended).
CityguyUSA
I think most of the young gay men have terrible phobias surrounding sex, especially butt sex. They are terrified of being “improperly cared for” and somehow upset their partner because they’re obsessed with sterile bodies and clean soapy smells, odors, etc while for us older guys those are the turn-ons. Some what sweaty, some what phernomey all mixed together to make for a very good time. You breathe that all on and it’s almost like your head gets all swimy and almost like a high. I don’t mean to say that people are enjoying the smell of poop (some do) but at least we realize that no animals were harmed during the making of this encounter and on the off chance that thea bottom had some residue you don’t embarass them and when you’re done take them and yourself to the shower and all’s well. Sure it can happen but most of the time if you’re packing you’re not going to be comforatble shoving a banana up there at the same time. And since most of us go 1 time (enjoy the go, as Charmin says <- wierd) per day around a certain time so your unlikely to suddenly change that because you're about to get nailed. So enjoy and stop worrying.
Invader7
I must be a rare bird.. I’ve NEVER felt any shame regarding sexual pleasure. It’s society that is fricking messed up.. Go out and get frisky America….. !!!!