Morning wood is one thing, but what happens when the gears down under start turning at much more unwanted moments? Things get awkward, and fast.
From sex pills to planes to sheer unexplainable bad timing, watch as these guys describe their awkward boner moments.
Have any of your own to share? Pop them up into the comments section below and we’ll create a Queerty reader edition. Hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, what’s the point?
Watch below:
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Scribe38
10th grade, electronics class, I use to dress myself to the right so this guy Chris could see my boner. He would look at it and I would watch him until he got one too. We would be in the very back of the class. A course a teacher noticed my activity as I as making it bounce in my jeans and smiling like an idiot. Most awkward conversation with a teacher after class ever!
Ladbrook
Jr year of college… 9am Shakespeare class (MWF). Without fail, my dick would go full-wood about 10 minutes before the end of class… for reasons that I still can’t explain. Leaving that classroom everyday wasn’t just uncomfortable, but often quite embarrassing as well.
Desert Boy
Doze off on a flight, aisle seat, massive hard-on and I was awakened to cute flight attendant asking me if I wanted anything, his eyes on the prize, him smiling ear to ear.
Low Country Boy
@Desert Boy: Ok, that sounds like the opening to a really hot story. In the interest of “public discourse,” I think more details are necessary.
GG
Right now.
rickyboi7
Almost daily during jr. high, the morning ride to school on the bus, all that bumping around, would give me a massive hard on. thankfully i usually had some books to hold in front, but i know it still looked like i was hiding a big ol boner.
Stache99
@rickyboi7: Yeah, me too. The vibration of the bus would give me a rock hard erection no matter what. Thank god for the books.
Aranos
Reading the article and the comments I realized how much I’ve forgotten all the embarrassment caused by spontaneous boners when I was younger. It was hell until I discovered that holding your breath until you feel you suffocate gets your boner down… This also helps against nasal congestion, btw… 🙂
Now I’m 42 (physically) and thank God, those uncontrollable boners have become rarer. Last time was in the gym, I was talking to that unbelievably hot african-american guy in his revealing tank-shirt telling me how he came to Germany and what his plans for the future are, and then… I do not remember why, but we started talking about relationships and sex and just the idea of him getting it on was enough for me to have to sit down… or get expelled from the gym. So I changed the subject and made the conversation last long enough until it was gone 🙂
wpewen
Why be embarrassed? I attended a military academy as a kid and all the boys were popping wood all the time. I say show it-everybody likes it and it they don’t fuck ’em.
SteveDenver
I worked as a valet at a nightclub and Halloween week was forecast to be warm (50s) and no snow, so a couple of guys volunteered to round up “gear” from their sports team — I somehow missed that it was wrestling. I got a gold singlet that smelled like clean hot musk (yes I did give the crotch a long sniff as I was dressing). All night long random whiffs of the guy who wore it before me would hit and I’d pop a ridge. The manager said, “Don’t worry about it. If someone mentions it, just say, ‘Thanks, I grew it myself,’ and keep working.” One of the guys was a “leaker,” so I didn’t worry so much.
Foggytop
When I was in 8th grade, our history/social studies teacher arranged our desks in blocks of four, two desks touching sides facing two others. Mine and my friend’s desks were side by side with our backs to the wall. Every day, sometime during the class, I’d get a boner and make it move in my pants. He’d sneak his hand over to my lap and mess with me for the whole class… sometimes (though rarely) unzipping me and reaching inside. It was so freaking sexy and I always had to walk out with my books in front of my crotch. Truth.
enlightenone
@Low Country Boy: “Ok, that sounds like the opening to a really hot story. In the interest of “public discourse,” I think more details are necessary.”
And now for the gay Penthouse Forum ltrs… Although Scribe38’s story got a rise out of me! I almost failed Chemistry looking at the wrong “pointer” next to me.
dhmonarch89
‘subdue it for the race’ it’s amazing how little biology men know- when you’re active/physical- running, etc- your testosterone is needed elsewhere as it were and it’s VERY difficult to get hard during that time. I got them constantly in school, but- when I played sports- gymnastics (I was even in love with my hot coach), football and tennis- it never happened once.
Merv
Sadly, I don’t think anybody would be able to tell, even if I was wearing spandex.
enlightenone
@Foggytop: “…It was so freaking sexy and I always had to walk out with my books in front of my crotch. Truth.”
I believe you. The other kid would have been me. Lol! It was 7th Grade and my dude became my best friend/”boyfriend” (he was/is “straight”) and “protector” over the years.
stanhope
@SteveDenver: Oh the precum spot is the absolute WORST. It stays there forever and heaven forbid you have on Khakis or light colored jeans.
Desert Boy
@Low Country Boy: I am a proud member of the Mile High Club.
darian
Every P.E. Class ever since the 7th grade until graduation. Especially in situations of closeness with other male classmates.
woodin
jr. high years I doubt a time when I didn’t have a boner. fortunately books where my shield walking onto the next class.
musctop
@wpewen: Same here–I went to a military academy and it was more of a surprise if you DIDN’T see boxer tents in the morning and hard ons in the shower. Some of the best sex I ever had was between 14-18 years old. “Boys will be boys.”
GQ83
In high school choir I had the biggest crush on these set of twins whom was both in my class, one would always wear gym shorts or sweat pants and stood right in back of me, if any of you fellas know about choir you know you have to stand quite close so he often brushed up against me, constant boner. 😉
lykeitiz
@Merv: I’m sure you’re not alone, just the only one to admit!
In fact, more than one post on this thread describes theirs as “massive”!
I’ll need a visual to back that up…..
jwtraveler
@wpewen: @musctop: I think the rules and culture at all-male boarding schools are a little different than they are in the rest of the world.
Captain Obvious
Usually when asked to come up to the board in class with a boner caught in my pant leg… stupid boxer briefs.
vive
In high school we had to stand in lines in the schoolyard on Monday mornings. I was standing with my hands behind my back in the at-ease position, and one day this wrestler guy standing behind me pressed his package into my hands throughout assembly.
I wish I knew how to take all that further then, but it was a more innocent time and the possibility of guys having sex was unheard of, at least as far as I knew.
polarisfashion
How many of us are getting hard reading these stories? When I was 12 I had a crush on the paper boy, he was 13. We were talking about sex once and he said my story gave him a boner. Oh do I wish I had the courage to ask him to show it to me! I just wasn’t ready yet and I don’t know how he would have reacted because the story I told him was about a girl.