Dating apps are what you make of them.
Grindr can be one of many things â a solution to short-term boredom, means to a hookup, a way to find friends or just a tool to check out the gay life of an unfamiliar area.
It can also become a compulsion, a drug dealer or a bad habit.
Whatâs your experience been like? Have you ever felt the need to delete it? (And did you re-download it three months later?)
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Hereâs what guys are saying on Whisper:
jag4313
Grindr is just organized stalking.
Pauly Duane Deitrick
Levi Aaron Douglass, these are so true..
Ken VanArsdale
I hate that site.
Ryan James Breakwell
I have to say…grindr is full of alot of disgusting guys after cheap thrills and dick pics…but there are nice guys hiding amongst them…i met my boyfriend on grindr…we chatted for over a year before we finally met up…we have now been happily together for 2 years and have a flat together and 2 dogs Ăą?Âș so it aint all bad you just gotta filter through the idiots first Ăą?Âș
Rob Laughlin
Any of the apps are just one of the tools to create a social life. They shouldn’t be the end all social life. Kiss a lot of frogs before you find the princes.
And the best friend’s dad one sounded really hot.
Michael Miller
I’m not sure what it is exactly, too whorey or not private enough or too creepy or… I just can’t stomach grindr. I’m not on some anti-grindr and the like crusade, if that’s what other people like and find useful then good for them, it’s simply not for me.
Fernando L Rivera
I feel this way about CandyCrush.
GlĂŒcklich
Not my thing. My husband uses it (open marriage) to meet friends and to hook-up.
I don’t have the time or inclination. I’ve done just fine in real life and would rather not order up friends or hook-ups from a catalog. I’d rather be surprised.
Hawg G Wilde
Are they really that weak?
Lee Lifeson-Peart
I meet nice guys on Jackd.
Bruno Carvalho
http://thebruzundangas.blogspot.com.br/2015/09/ellton-john-pede-um-encontro-com.html
Queerty
Jaime Mendez
bottom250
Sweethearts, Grindr is fabulous because you don’t have to cruise the parks, bathrooms, or bars to hook-up.
alanMCclever
(nice targeted advertising there)
There are a lot of thirsty bitches on grindr man… like i just wan to find some gays in my area… Why is that so hard, why do idiots (who don’t even have a face pic) send a dick pick before they even say hey?! ugh… rant over
alanMCclever
@alanMCclever: native advertising***** i notice it everywhere now…
GlĂŒcklich
@bottom250:
Hey what’s wrong with old school? Bars are OK. Helps me weed out guys who can’t hold a conversation or those who say “allegeably”, “irregardless” or worse.
bottom250
@GlĂŒcklich: True honey I have walked out of many bar bathrooms with a smile on my face.
GlĂŒcklich
@bottom250:
Well, that’s not quite what I meant….but support your local watering hole!
bottom250
@GlĂŒcklich: Oh I do because it supports my hole. LOL
Jonathan Banks
True true.
Stache99
@Lee Lifeson-Peart: Not sure if you’re being serious but Jack’d is mostly for teens.
Stache99
@alanMCclever: Have you thought of asking for one?
SonOfKings
I really don’t mind apps like Grindr existing, because I know I can also ignore them and go out into real life and find a man the old-fashioned way. But The problem is, when I do hit the bars, EVERY guy in their is staring into their phones on Grindr or Jack’d and will not interact with you unless you first long on to Grindr and introduce yourself on line. Even if you are sitting across the bar from them.
Giancarlo85
Grindr is full of dick pics and nasty guys… some say. And Whisper is full of whiny bitches who complain about everything and anything. I don’t quite get how they can attach these quotes to pictures of hot guys. That’s a total fail. And yes, I’m speaking my heart.
@bottom250: Yes especially when your entire life revolves around sex lol.
@bottom250: Lovely. Bathrooms? What high standards.
bottom250
@Giancarlo85: Yes honey I enjoy sex and sometimes I have sex in bathrooms which is not uncommon in the gay community.
Giancarlo85
@bottom250: Um, are we still degrading ourselves in that way by having sex in the same place people take shits?
bottom250
@Giancarlo85: Sex is beautiful and wonderful and should never be viewed as degrading unless you like to be degraded during sex which is also fun. I love your judgmental attitude towards gay men who aren’t like you.
GlĂŒcklich
@SonOfKings:
Is that a generational thing? I don’t know how old you are – I’m 36 – but I don’t see a ton of 40+ year-old guys (to whom I’m usually most attracted and with whom I’ve the most in common) out and about with their faces buried in their phones. If I do I assume they’re responding to work messages, same as I am.
I must be really old fashioned. I’m just not into any of that social media crap. Half-hearted Google Plus user and that’s it. I don’t need any more intrusions. Even LinkedIn was getting to be too much, like who the hell are these folks?
GlĂŒcklich
@Giancarlo85:
@bottom250:
A day without you two bickering is like a day without sunshine. Go out and enjoy the world.
bottom250
@GlĂŒcklich: Honey, I am so bitchy. I am the Queen and no one puts me in my place unless I ask them too.
Giancarlo85
@bottom250: Um why not fuck in a cleaner location then? What judgmental attitude? Excuse me for not wanting to do such things in a restroom.
Giancarlo85
And when did I say sex wasn’t beautiful? Some gay men make it into some type of chore they have do. What’s the beauty in that? And how is it beautiful to fuck in a restroom? I’m just not seeing it. Sorry.
bottom250
@Giancarlo85: Because we just want it there and then and we are carried away with the passion.
Peter Lagaris
I think grindr is like everything else: It only takes a few people to ruin it for everyone else. Grindr used to be for normal people, now it’s exclusively for the super hot and the seriously deviant. I’ve been cussed out before for not wanting to hook up!
Arcamenel
Considering gay sex involves something going on someone else’s ass, doing it in a restroom is kind of ideal just in case you have an oops moment LOL
Carol Garber
Here I go fellas. I’m a grandmother and if I were you none of this would turn me on. They’re all little boys, literally and figuratively. Just say’n.
bottom250
@Carol Garber: What does that even me?
McShane
@GlĂŒcklich:
Fuck Linkedin. I’ve never had a client mention Linkedin. But I get a shit ton of those super annoying, “Do you know Brad Smith, Tracy Jones or John Doe” Emails.
Delete, delete, delete.
Jay Quail
GlĂŒcklich
@McShane:
It smacks of Dale Carnegie: disingenuous, rehearsed, elevator pitch-y, hungry. I don’t like feeling “sold to” which is what LinkedIn was becoming for me. “Glengarry Glen Ross”? Ugh, makes my skin crawl.
Kick Emerson
River Viiperi lol
SonOfKings
@GlĂŒcklich: Yes, I believe this tendency to stay buried in your mobile phone, following every twist and turn of the social media merry-go-round is an under 35 thing. Once you have a mortgage, one of those all-consuming jobs, aging parents, and cultural/community leadership obligations (in other words, once you’ve joined the establishment) you no longer have the time (or inclination) to play on hookup apps all day and night.
Still, I have to get mine Now and then. So I maintain Grindr and Jack’d profiles with shirtless, weightlifting selfies from my workouts, I have a black thug, just out of prison persona as my gimmick. But I’m not on there that often. Still more men to be found offline. But you have to be willig to rise to the occasion and f**k and s**k like a champion if you find some dude (of any race) that’s hot, gorgeous, and available.
In the real world, you have to always be ready. Not so, online.
rosebaker75
????Start your home business right now. Spend more time with your family and earn. Start bringing 78$/hr just on a c0mputer. Very easy way to make your life happy and earning continuously. Start hereâŠ.
++ > cÂÂaÂÂrÂÂeÂÂeÂÂrÂÂsÂÂtÂÂoÂÂdÂÂaÂÂyÂÂ5ÂÂ0ÂÂ.ÂÂcÂÂoÂÂm
Giancarlo85
@bottom250: how romantic ugh. It is just a dirty place. You don’t know if someone was throwing up all over the walls. Or some old guy took a dump on the floor.
bottom250
@Giancarlo85: Grrr stop with the hot talk sweety
Chris
I have an idea: if you don’t like Grindr, don’t use it.
bottom250
@Chris: That just sounds to intelligent.
Robert Gallardo
It’s funny when people rant about hook up sites. It’s just not that serious Homies!!
bottom250
@Robert Gallardo: I know right. It is a hot passionate time with another man. mmmmmm
Giancarlo85
@bottom250: I am starting to believe you are a parody. I don’t think you are real.
bottom250
@Giancarlo85: I think the same about you. No one can be that uptight and prudish.
Giancarlo85
@bottom250: oh wow. I don’t like sex in a bar restroom. That makes me uptight and prudish? Just because I don’t like that doesn’t mean I am prudish. I have my boyfriend and we keep it to the bedroom. I am not one who whores my ass out to ten men a week.
Nedra
GAY MEN NEED TO EVOLVE and end this damn obsession with grindr.
RIGay
It’s a phase, people; kind of like Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister; you wake up and grow out of it.
Every person, gay or straight, goes through it; you want to sex and the app is the fastest route. Grindr was the IT app for the Millennials, for the next generation it will be something else. Back in the day, we lived on the AOL Chat Rooms to hook up. The generation before me had the ubiquitous bar rags where you could advertise “Seeking LTR for WS and FF” under “M4M”, the generation before that had the Bell Telephone “Party Line”.
Jesus… what ever happened to just cruising the Fens?
Oh, yeah, about 100 pounds, a mortgage and a job that has me in bed and sound asleep by 9PM. It was called “Reality”.
AtticusBennett
if Grindr gives you so much anxiety DONT USE IT.
the app is what you make of it, and what you bring to it. i’ve had success with it. my profile pic is clearly of me, my (limited) text space is used to make it clear who i am, and what i’m about. so, those who can READ know what they’ll be getting into if they message me.
i’ve made great PLATONIC friends from Grindr. I’ve had great hookups that turned into terrific friendships.
but in all of it, i don’t get upset about it the way these Whisperers seem to.
if you feel bad about your body because of grindr know what it’s showing you? that the only guys you look at on Grindr have “really hot bodies”, why not consider all the guys on grindr who DONT have those Men’s Health physiques?
there’s this annoying habit among many people to only have eyes for That Adonis, and then be upset that That Adonis doesn’t look at you. then a dismissal that GUYS ARE SHALLOW. um….aren’t YOU shallow for only having eyes for That Adonis? do you go for guys who look like YOU? do you message guys who filled out a profile with actual content that you have things in common with?
that’s how you make it work.
if you go online, with a pic that doesn’t show who you are, and no profile text that makes it clear who you are and what you’re about, and you’re seeing “hi, hey, was sup? how are you?” messages, you’re gonna end up frustrated.
some guys are much more relaxed and secure about expressing and enjoying their sexuality with other guys. they’ll have a hookup, followed by a hangout .or just a hookup. or just hang out!
the app is not SLUTTY for SLUTS – but it can be used that way. rather than blaming the app, blame you inability to use it properly to get what you want out of it.
AtticusBennett
every article about “guys on Whisper” needs only be named “WHISPER – the thing guys use to blame everyone else for their own problems”
GlĂŒcklich
@RIGay:
Had to look up cruising the Fens.
Giancarlo85
@AtticusBennett: I agree, but I would add I’m sure many of these guys who complain about Grindr probably can’t log out from it. They are hooked on it.
AtticusBennett
@Giancarlo85: absolutely. and they should stay off of it if it’s consuming their life and time and making them miserable. but it’s like with alcohol. can’t handle your booze and can’t NOT get drunk? avoid alcohol. but for folks like me who can, and do, only have two drinks a week…..well, it’s all in how you use it.
DutchGay
I met my first boyfriend 18,5 years ago in a gay youth center. We’ve been in a monogamous relationship ever since. I never had ANY experience with cruising, dating or whatsoever. He’s amazing and never gets boring. I can’t imagine being with someone else while I’m with him. He’s my jackpot đ
Neil Stoodley
What a depressingly biased article.
I’ve met a lot of great people through these Apps, including my boyfriend. Like most things, it’s how you manage it in your life.
captainburrito
The friends dad comment is gold! lol
Mercurical Memo
And this is why I’m not on social media. But Grindr reminds me of gay people that perpetually bitch about the gay community and the scene and you find them every weekend at the bars and the clubs. When I was young and horny I used to use the internet for that. Scoring sex. I was young and hopeful about finding a boyfriend. And I grew out of that nonsense. Now I just don’t care. Porn is much better than real sex anyway. And the internet is full of losers that want to jerk off in front of their computer screens. I’ll stick to the old fashioned way of meeting. And if that doesn’t work there are interesting books and movies to read/watch. No big loss.
GlĂŒcklich
@Mercurical Memo:
“…there are interesting books and movies to read/watch.”
New Jonathan Franzen’s out!
Mercurical Memo
@GlĂŒcklich: “Purity”? It sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Poignant, no? Especially as it relates to all of this? But I currently have Margaret Atwood, Anne Carson and Marina Endicott at the foot of my bed waiting for me to finish Empires of the Word”
Me2
Weren’t they also complaining about the clubs just a few years ago? Some people seem to think that if they aren’t able to walk into a club or go online and get exactly what they want, that somehow the club or the app is to blame. However, once you’ve had a few hot hook-ups, grinder can become very addicting!!
GlĂŒcklich
@Mercurical Memo:
Excellent.
If “Purity” is anything like “Freedom” I can’t wait. I devoured that tome in four days and SOBBED through the last few pages.
mgkbus
@bottom250: You sound like a fun time. I want you on my team.
bottom250
@mgkbus: Hugs thank you sweetheart
silveroracle
Grindr is a boring app that is full of spambots and fake guys.
It is also addictive.
I certainly wouldn’t pay to use it.
I was also on WHISPER but came off it due to people posting that they felt like committing suicide.
I WOULD NOT recommend WHISPER to anyone. I think it is dangerous, especially if you suffer from depression.
Just my observation.
Have a good day guys. đ
Giancarlo85
@bottom250: No response to my last post? Yes, you know you were wrong about me.
notevenwrong
@AtticusBennett, the guys who b*tch about only seeing unattainably hot bodies on Grindr are the same guys who blocked all the average bodies from their feed.
Bostonboy617
Sadly this app helped to ruin my past relationship. My ex (of 3 years) and I used it (together) for potential group fun. But it became a bad habit, exhausting, alienating and caused us to both mistrust each other in the end. I also found that I had less of a positive view of my community and myself. I couldn’t tell what was real and the dirty talk became a bit pathological.
Of course, it was entirely our fault, so I don’t blame grindr. We are grown men. But just like anything kinda taboo, it was exciting at times, and so easy to get sucked in and make poor choices cause we were boned up.
bottom250
@Giancarlo85: You are prudish because you believe your sex life is the “norm” and thus slut shame other gay men.
Kevin @hivprogress.com
As much I can relate to the rudeness and fast-food-sex-mentality on Grindr – for me it was the start to get on HIV Treatment – http://www.hivprogress.com/day-29-talking-about-hiv-on-dating-apps/
Doughosier
I think it’s a bad thing. It makes sex too easy (for some) and can easily turn to an addiction. Relationships need time to grow but if you’re just on to the next one, that won’t happen. Even if you don’t want a relationship, too much of a good thing gets old. Not to mention the riskes involved, like meeting up with a criminal or STDs.
takingliberties
@AtticusBennett: You’re kind of a know-it-all.
da90027
I met my bf because of Jack’d. We locked eyes at a club didn’t speak after it closed he found me on Jack’d and sent me a message and almost a year later here we are living together. I tell people you can meet a guy anywhere. The chances may be slim on those apps but it can happen
Mykey
@Ryan James Breakwell: Aww! Happy ending after all! đ