It’s perfectly understandable to crave new experiences — it’s why we scuba dive and bungee jump and try new exotic-sounding foods. So it makes sense that we fantasize about a variety of sexual experiences also.
Many test these waters while we’re young, before “settling down.” But what happens when you skip that step and head right into a life of relative sameness?
Those urges may not go away, and in fact they can tend to grow even stronger.
Below, we hear from guys on Whisper who wish they’d sowed a few wild oats before committing.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Our one suggestion? Honesty with your partner — you might be surprised by the result:
CaliKyle
Regardless of opinions or “studies” that contend women are naturally or more frequently bi, in fact the typical guy is more heteroflexible/ bi curious than his female counterpart. These Whispers themselves might be bs but collectively they speak a truth about male sexuality.
Donston
@CaliKyle:
There are a decent amount of men who want to fvck everything. That’s nothing new. The studies and science are based on sexual attraction and arousal. Women are much, much more likely to develop genuine attraction to men and women. Men are much more likely to engage bi-sexuality due simply to libido, domination/sadism fetishes, narcissism, self-denial and gender dis morphia. Bi-curious/heteroflexible are very different than actually being bi-sexual.
Literally every day there’s an “article” talking about how desperate “straight men” are to be gay. It’s been gotten lame. Now, it’s just redundant and dull. And it’s forcing me to be redundant. Time for me to move on from this site and its straight fetishes and it’s lack of insight concerning anything else.
Brian
@CaliKyle: I agree.
The myth that women are naturally bi has been pushed by pimps and pornographers for decades. Most female bisexuality in image is pay-for-play stuff. Even in real life, women use the idea that they are naturally bisexual to assert themselves over men and to obtain rewards. It’s mostly a fake sexuality.
Men have always been flexible in their sexuality but there are powerful forces trying to subdue it, from the church to feminism.
CaliKyle
@Donston: Your comment characterizes womens sexual attraction to both genders as “genuine” and then goes on to trash male bisexual tendencies as fetishistic. Its you who is suffering from a profound lack of insight. Stop trying to perpetuate the lie that when guys experiment its because theyre fetish obsessed pervs. Experimentation is as natural for males as it is for females, perhaps more so.
Jack Meoff
So for years ‘straight’ men with any iota of same sex attraction suppressed their urges because it was socially unacceptable and even illegal and subsequently channelled their anger and frustration about their feelings at openly gay men through bigotry and harassment, but now that it’s become more socially acceptable they want in on the action and see it as an experience to be dabbled in and then dismissed like a fad. Note that none of these whisper statements suggest these men might be open to a relationship with a man only that they wish they had experimented before taking the hetero road to enjoy their straight privilege. They can all take their regret and shove it up their @ss.
ErikO
@Donston: You’re extremely bi phobic, men can be bisexual just as much as women can and being bisexual is an actual sexual orientation just like being gay/lesbian, or heterosexual are.
@Jack Meoff: A lot of people on here, myself included are convinced that the authors here at queerty just make up stuff on whisper and then post it here as a story as that’s what they do with reddit.
Brian
Women are relatively asexual to men.
Brian
@CaliKyle: Men experiment sexually all the time. However, they are not encouraged to be open about it. Men also tend to have a “silent sexuality” in that they don’t need to use sex to draw attention to themselves in the way that women do.
Women tend to be sellers. A seller advertises. A seller fakes it. A seller uses her goods to obtain a reward in return for the sale.
Men are the complete opposite because their sexuality is pervasive. Men consider their sexuality a human right that is non-negotiable, and not for sale.
David
I don’t want to promote infidelity but if it means that much try it at least once. It may be a life changer.
Terrycloth
A lot of women think sex =love ..where as men have sex for sex…men are generally horney..most women do it to satisfy the man not that the woman really wants it
Hussain-TheCanadian
I find it hard to believe that straight men will have sex with “anything” as long as their horny….sounds like a stretch to me.
How come this doesn’t apply to us? How come we don’t sleep with women just because we’re horny?
radiooutmike
I do feel genuine pity for these men.
Who knows if it’s a run-around, though. Perhaps by being in a safe, stable environment these men can actually think about their true wants and needs. What they actually are. Instead of fitting inside some kind of predetermined path.
Obviously, the time to experiment is before you make a lasting commitment to someone. But it does not necessarily work out that way. I do hope that these guys do examine what they want in life, because even if they’re happy with their wives and families, whatever; there’s so much more to be gained by being true to yourself.
jdboston617
LMAO: As if marrying would stop them from doing it.
If these are newly married men, then most of this bullshit fantasies that gay men wrote. Please….
rand503
Obviously, there is something wrong with our society that constricts people from fulfilling their needs and desires. Undoubtedly, it’s true that there are at least some men who are exactly gay, but not entirely straight either. Or they want to experiment or just see what it’s like.
Yes, they can and should have experimented while they were single. But from some of their comments, it seems as though they didn’t realize how important it was until after they got married.
I’m no advocate for cheating once a commitment is made, but on the other hand, it seems a little restrictive that if you get married, even at a young age, you are prohibited from having sex with any other person for the rest of your life. That could be 50 years or more! That doesn’t strike me as a good thing for everyone.
Marriage should allow for either spouse to experiment or have a fling from time to time. Yes, it should be consensual for both spouses, and it must be safe. Of course there is risk — one might find that being in a restrictive marriage till death isn’t exactly what one was looking for, and that might lead to divorce.
But I think it would be healthy to allow a spouse to at least experiment with a same sex encounter, or even an opposite sex fling, because some people need that “safety valve.”