red coats + tails

How Come Britain’s Gays Are Abandoning Weddings En Masse?


Fewer gay persons in Britain are getting gay married. The best explanation? Like with all trends, once they fall out of fashion, the gays run away!

Technically, British gays can only get civil unions — but fewer are choosing to do even that. When they became legal in 2005, it was the all the rage. Elton John was doing it! Culture Secretary Ben Bradshaw was too! But not that all the famous people who would get their civil partnership have done so, there’s nobody worth talking about heading down the aisle. So the rest of Britain’s gays are abandoning unions, too!

By 2007, civil union rates had fallen 50 percent. Last year, there was an 18 percent drop from there.

“Gay community leaders” (or “those people,” as we call them) explain this away as the “normalizing process.” Giving gays civil union rights obviously set of a rush to wed, but now things have naturally calmed down.

Us? We think the gays have given up on their plans for world domination. Somebody check the agenda to figure out what we’re supposed to do next?