How Many Homos Can You Shove In a Closet?

It’s rare that we find ourselves over at Andrew Sullivan’s (seen here in a picture from many-a-year ago Daily Dish, but something took hold of us just now and we found ourselves ambling on over. We’re sure glad we did, because we came across a quaint letter sent to Sullivan by a particularly charming reader. Never has an opening sentence grabbed us by the balls in quite the same way:

Gay men belong in the closet. It is better for gay men, and it is better for the rest of us… The sexual behavior of gay men is a threat to the public health, as the AIDS epidemic made clear.

Oh boy, one of those types. If there’s one thing we absolutely love, it’s when people put AIDS on gay shoulders a la the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. Oh, don’t worry, it gets better:

This will change in the future. No society can continue to survive with gay men living without constraint. And, no society can long endure under the authority of the fag hags. The world of the fags and the fag hags is disgusting. There is something called reality.

I don’t think we should throw men in jail for f***ing [sic] each other in the ass. But, we certainly shouldn’t encourage it either. We should push you and your like back into the closet where you belong. Hope it happens soon.

We do too. We can’t wait to drudge through the absolute angst of living a lie, pulling our hair in frustration as we try to fit into a society that loathes us. What a time! We recall the denial with tears of joy, knowing that we managed to subdue our true identities with the grace, poise, and determination of a closeted politician.

Oh, and as for reality: yes, there is something called reality. This is it – gays exist and barring some horrible queer master plan, we’re going to continue to exist. If you don’t like it, tough shit.