A North Carolina woman has found herself caught between a rock and a hard place. Her bisexual husband wants to have a threesome with another man, but she’s just not sure if she’s OK with the idea. So she’s seeking advice from columnist N. John Shore Jr. at the Asheville Citizen Times.
“My husband wants to have a threesome with me and another man we know,” the woman writes. “I don’t know whether to entertain the idea or cry.”
The woman explains that she’s known the guy since high school and, like her husband, he’s openly bisexual.
“I was friends with him, but my husband just recently started to talk to him. I liked him well enough until he started sending naked pictures to my husband.”
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
To make things even more awkward, the man recently started dating her younger sister.
“So things have gotten a little weird,” the woman says.
Ya think?!
She continues,”My husband originally brought up the idea of him and this other man doing sexual things without my involvement, as well as a threesome. I tried discussing both options with him, but the more we talked about the whole subject, the more frustrated and insecure I felt.”
She insists it’s not the bisexuality that bothers her (she grew up in a same-sex household), but rather her own need for monogamy.
“I was also raised to believe that relationships should be monogamous in all ways, especially in regards to sex. I’ve always prided myself on being open-minded, but I cringe at the idea of sharing my husband with anyone, whether I’m present or not.”
She wonders: “Should I be open to the things he wants to try?”
In his response, N. John Shore tells the woman that no one should feel “coerced into doing anything that makes them cringe.”
“Put simply,” he says, “you’ve got a decision to make. Namely, are you OK with your husband having sex outside your marriage? If you are, then, on his way out the door, pat your husband on the back and hand him a condom. If you’re not, then your husband becomes faced with a question he must answer for himself.”
That question, Shore says, is: “Is my desire to have sex outside of my relationship worth the cost of what having that sex will do to my relationship?”
Shore says the woman and her husband must both figure out what they each need/want/believe/can and cannot live without.
“The only way to figure out all of that is to have an honest, heart-to-heart conversation between you and yourself, and then another one between you and your husband,” he writes.
He concludes his response with an aquatic metaphor, writing: “The waters into which your husband wants you to jump are tricky, rapid and deep. He can leap right off that cliff if he must, but don’t you hold his hand and leap with him until, and only if, you know yourself to be ready for that.”
What advice would you give this woman? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
natekerchel
If my male partner asked me to have a threesome with a female – or even another male for that matter – I would not be happy. For those of us who practice and believe in monogamy as the premise for their relationship it would simply be out of the question. Of course I would talk with my partner about it and try to explain why I would not do it. For me, it would be a deal breaker – or marriage breaker. If people agree to have other sexual partners that is ok – but if one does not then that should be respected. The lady has to decide for herself what is in her best interests. I would have thought that before you commit to a relationship those sorts of things have already been discussed and settled. If one partner wants to change that then you have to ask why.
Ksb1978
Not all bisexuals are the same. Although we are attracted to more than one gender, does not mean we want multiple partners. Personally?, I’d be all for it. Communication is the key. Have a threesome with any gender and enjoy yourselves.
Donston
I’m sorry, but her husband wants to have a threesome with her sister’s bf? What a white-trashy mess. She, her sister, her husband and her sister’s bf have some issues to work out. And I doubt a threesome is gonna fix them.
wei_cong
So much drama. At the end of the day, you simply should know what you want and don’t do the things you don’t want.
Kenney G
Don’t do it girl. don’t let your man have sex with another man, Buy yourself a dildo and peg the hell out of him. If you let him have sex with one man he will want to do it again, So don’t do it