O CUNNING SERPENT

Illinois Bishop To Same-Sex Marriage Law: “I Exorcize You!”

One hour after Illinois Governor Pat Quinn signed same-sex marriage into law on Wednesday, Bishop Thomas John Paprocki (pictured) followed through with his plan to perform an exorcism against the legislation.

“I exorcize you!” Paprocki declared during the hour-long ritual held the service at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Springfield, Illinois. “Every unclean spirit! Every power of darkness! Every incursion of the infernal enemy! Every diabolical legion, cohort, and faction in the name and power of our Lord Jesus Christ!”

The religious spectacle is reported by the Chicago Sun-Times to have attracted more than 500 people, though the paper didn’t indicate how many were there for the actual service and how many were there just to gawk.

“Dare no more, O cunning serpent,” Paprocki continued, “to deceive the human race; to persecute the Church of God; to shake the chosen of God and sift them like wheat!”

Gay sinners and politicians sifting straight people like wheat? WTF?

Paprocki has been a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage in Illinois for some time. Earlier this month, he accused Catholic legislators who supported the bill of being “morally complicit as co-operators in facilitating this grave sin.”

He called Wednesday’s exorcism a minor one.

“I am not saying that anyone involved in the redefinition of marriage is possessed by the devil, which, if that were the case, would require the remedy of a major exorcism,” he told Chicago Sun-Times.

“But all of us are certainly subject to the devil’s evil influences and in need of protection and deliverance from evil.”

A group of activists gathered outside the cathedral to protest. A local ABC News reporter interviewed them and a woman named Erin Meehan described the whole same-sex marriage exorcism best: “I think the bishop is looking for publicity.”

We couldn’t agree more.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #bishopthomasjohnpaprocki #exorcism #illinois stories and more

18 Comments

  • tardis

    He should probably get started exercising all those child molesters the Catholic Church seems to attract. Just sayin’.

  • hyhybt

    Good; if he’s exorcized the law, then it cannot be demonic, so those claiming it was should now support it :)

  • MikeE

    Mmm, did he get papal permission to perform an exorcism? As far as I know, the roman church requires proof of the need for an exorcism, and also requires that the exorcist be qualified for such. This could very well be grounds for him to be excommunicated.

  • hyhybt

    @MikeE: That’s probably in the mentioned difference between “minor” and “major” exorcisms. From what I’ve read elsewhere, this is supposed to be more like the sort that happens at baptisms and confirmations. Which was a surprise to see; I’d never heard those called exorcisms before. But in that case it does make sense not to bother the pope with each one.

  • doug105

    Yes please keep showing the world how powerless and worthless your whole religion is.

  • Elloreigh

    Illinois Bishop To Same-Sex Marriage Law: “I Exorcize You!”

    Same-Sex Marriage Law to Illinois Bishop: “Whatever, dude. I’m still here.”

  • queerty1958

    The bishop is just jealous because he can’t marry. Period.

  • TheNewEnergyDude

    LOL, c’mon….are you fucking *kidding*???

    Further proof that blinded, organized religion is one if the worst, stupidest things on the planet.

  • Quaccio

    Exorcize my ass!

    Who believes in this shit still in this century to confer this mental man legitimacy and media reach?

  • avesraggiana

    The louder he screams, the more evident he makes it that Catholicism is less and less relevant in the modern world. To Hell with you, Bishop, you and your relentlessly shlocky drag outfits.

  • Eiswirth

    “Every unclean spirit! Every power of darkness! Every incursion of the infernal enemy! Every diabolical legion, cohort, and faction in the name and power of our Lord Jesus Christ!”

    Funny, I was just going to say the same thing about the Catholic Church.

  • GayAtheistLH

    Exorcism isn’t real, Paprocki . You dumb bitch.

  • MikeE

    you know what would have been funny? He finishes the exorcism, exclaims: “I exorcise thee!!” and *poof* the Catholic Church disappears.

  • Kathukid

    Hey Bishop, blow me!

  • jwrappaport

    The man in the dress is right: it’s the cunning serpents you have to worry about most. Every hot guy seems to have one.

  • avesraggiana

    @jwrappaport: Hahaha!!!! Good one.

  • Daniel-Reader

    He’s like the sanctimonious religious leaders who killed Jesus.

  • blackhook

    How can any thinking person fall for the Catholic babushka of bullshit? Hocus-pocus-dominocus!! And pass the offering plate! the Catholic Church & its medieval nonsense wants to take us back to the Dark Ages. The Virgin Mary …the smoking incense ball …you’re kidding, right?

    Gotta admit, though …they have the best dresses & party hats!

Comments are closed.