FUNNY LADY

EXCLUSIVE: Kathy Griffin’s New Bravo Show Might Be Too Gay To Function

What about bisexuals?

You will see more bisexual people on this show per capita than are included in the world population. Have you met my friend Andy Dick, because he should be your poster child. I asked Andy about his sexuality one time, and he’s basically just said, “When I’m with a girl, I think, ‘Oh my god, she’s so beautiful,’ and then when I see a boy, I leave her and go over to him and say, ‘Oh my god, he’s so beautiful.'”

The struggle on this show is to get one fuckin’ heterosexual. This show is basically straight-bashing at this point. We are very very LGBTQIA friendly. Bravo has just given me my own campaign. I go to the Hill and have rallies.

Speaking of the gays, are you going to take down your fellow Bravo talk-show cost Andy Cohen? He’s kind of your competition now.

I wouldn’t say I’m going to go down on Andy Cohen. Frankly, I don’t think he would appreciate it. And, you know, I tend to gag. I have a bad gag reflex that I’m working on. But we might talk about blow jobs on the show.

I talked to NBC Universal, and they said I don’t have to have any of the Bravo [cast members] on if I don’t want to. If it lends itself to what we’re talking about, maybe. Actually I don’t know if I’m ever going to have the Bravo people on. I don’t think I could complete a sentence if I’m trying to deal with the lights coming off of NeNe’s sparkly Louboutins. I might find that blinding.

Does it make you a coward to not want to say these negative things to the celebrities’ faces?

No, no, it makes me a lady. I prefer to talk about people behind their backs. I find it more freeing, and I can really say what I think. I prefer to wait till someone’s left the room, and then I just let it rip.

What is this about your getting banned from the Today show again?

Yes, I was indeed re-banned from the Today show. That’s the reason I’m late. I was in my bathroom, where I have a TV—because I’m famous. I saw myself in the marquee on CNN, and I couldn’t believe my good fortune. Kathy Griffin re-banned from the Today show. When you see yourself on CNN, you stop what you’re doing. It was very exciting.

The Today show just said you’re not banned though.

My publicist called the show. We thought since NBC Universal is the owner of Bravo, why won’t they have me on NBC’s Today show? They say that [newscaster] Natalie Morales thinks I was rude to her at the Golden Globes. Clearly she had me confused with Gwyneth Paltrow!

Are you going to ban anyone from your show?

I have not banned myself yet, but that’s up to the network’s discretion. I guess I could try to be cool and pretend like I banned some dead people. Napoleon, totally banned. Elvis, not invited. No Tupac nor Biggie, nor a hologram of any of those people. I haven’t banned a fuckin’ throw pillow, I haven’t started yet!

 

Click through for more of Queerty’s interview with Kathy Griffin

Kathy premieres on April 19th at 10pm EST Bravo. Photos:Lola Broadus. Philip Nelson, gdcgraphics, Bravo