Tom Daley announced that he and Dustin Lance Black welcomed their son, Robbie Ray, into the world last week.
In a tweet over the weekend, Daley said: “Welcome to the world our precious little Robbie Ray Black-Daley. The amount of love and joy you have brought into our life is immeasurable, our precious little son”.
• 27/06/18 • Welcome to the world our precious little Robbie Ray Black-Daley ?? The amount of love and joy you have brought into our life is immeasurable, our precious little son ?????? pic.twitter.com/J76KgBTRqs
— Tom Daley (@TomDaley1994) June 30, 2018
Almost immediately, the well wishes began flooding in:
Awww Tom Daley and his husband have had a son. Obviously fell out of his fucking arse
— Belts (@BeltaBaby) June 30, 2018
The liberals told me we'd end up in a Handmaid's Tale type scenario where women were used as breeding stock for men.
And they were right. https://t.co/4S5ao1D3A2
— John McGuirk (@john_mcguirk) July 2, 2018
It's astonishing. Twitter has been full of outrage about children being taken from their mothers on the Mexican border but, when Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black take a baby from its mother, everybody says how wonderful it is…
— Happy hour (@E14Wolves) June 30, 2018
Now, users of the internet parenting forum Mumsnet are viciously attacking the new dads.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
In a new thread titled “The mother of Tom Daley’s child”, users vented about the couple’s use of a surrogate.
One commenter wrote: “The baby was both deprived of its mother and abandoned by its mother. That this happened was planned. I consider that to be child abuse.”
The disgusting comment has since been deleted by moderators. But that didn’t stop the hate and vitriol from continuing to spew.
Another user called the couple “Vile entitled men if you ask me”, while a third person labeled them “misogynist, selfish non-law-abiding men who got around UK law to rent an American woman’s body.”
“They’re not able to have a child because they are both male,” another person added.
Meanwhile, others insisted that “removing an infant from its safe sensory world and plonking it into an entirely alien new one has the potential for profound damage”, adding: “Having children is not a right.”
A long string of homophobic comments have been deleted from the thread, which has garnered nearly 1000 replies.
It’s all pretty sickening, if you ask us. Luckily, the new dads don’t seem too bothered by all the noise. Yesterday, Daley took to Instagram to make a joke about his encroaching “dad bod.”
From everyone here at Queerty, we’re sending nothing but good vibes and good luck to the dads and their new bundle of joy!
Related: Twitter is filled with hate and outrage as Tom Daley and DLB announce the birth of their son
Chrisk
I wonder if this hate wouldn’t be so harsh if they had just adopted. I’ve not seen this kind of hate towards any other gay couples with kids.
dwes09
The hate would have been as harsh because this is a small but easily triggered group of people having more and more difficulty separating belief from reality as time goes on. They “believe” that only a biological mother and father can meet a child’s needs, despite enormous empirical evidence otherwise. They believe “god ordained marriage and blessed the ‘nuclear family'” despite the actual history of the world. They believe homosexuality is sin (even the regressive folks here have obviously internalized that) because of their “belief in scripture and ‘natural law’ (something their religious leaders have conjured from their imagination).
Realistically, a woman who acts as surrogate desires the money more than the child, so the child is better off in a home where they are wanted. Realistically parents of adopted children can bond to them as strongly as biological parents, and vice-versa.
Daly and Black are right to just think of these people as deluded and backwards. All people should hope for and care about is that Daly&Black’s marriage remain strong and functional through the years and tribulations raising a child takes.
Kangol
I have. With Black and Daley, though, I think it’s because they’re two high-profile figures. As others pointed out on the previous thread, gay people use surrogates all the time, just as straight couples do. But there’s been a surge of anti-gay, racist and and misogynistic hatefulness online since Trumpkin was installed, and Black, Daley and their baby are being targeted with some of this.
ipinto
Too much religion too little freedom and love in some comments. Congratulations to Tom Daley and Dustin Black.
Jackrabbit
Amen, and blessings!
Mack
The right hates so much because their lives are so screwed up believing the con-men they believe.
ethan_hines
@Mack and the book the con-men wrote (or rewrote)
Johndoes
Wouldn’t expect anything less from the Fox News of gay blogs.
DarkZephyr
Huh?
MGinOH
This headline is incredibly deceiving as it implies that he’s been legitimately accused of child abuse, when it’s actually reactionary homophobes spewing B.S.
Donston
It’s how they get clicks.
dwes09
It’s definitely how they get clicks, but as the headline was “accused”, not investigated or indicted or arrested or suspected (and knowing how Queerty should be parsed) I assumed it was about negative reaction from right wing fools.
DarkZephyr
I knew exactly what the headline meant the moment I saw it. I knew it would be homophobes.
QueerTruth
That sounds about right. Typical Queerty click bait.
Francis Gallant
THE CONCEPT OF NATURAL AND UNNATURAL
“Culture tends to argue that it forbids only that which is unnatural. But from a biological perspective, nothing is unnatural. Whatever is possible is by definition also natural. A truly unnatural behavior, one that goes against the laws of nature, simply cannot exist, so it would need no prohibition.” (quote from the book)?
Start reading it for free: http://a.co/7koU6Lz
A book to be read by anyone who has an open mind or agrees to try and live with an open mind – learning the differences between culture and biology – evolution versus creationism makes this a must-read to gain some knowledge and comfort in coming to understand existence. (Francis J. Gallant)
“A good rule of thumb is ‘Biology enables, Culture forbids.’ Biology is willing to tolerate a very wide spectrum of possibilities. It’s culture that obliges people to realize some possibilities while forbidding others.” (Quote from the book)
Donston
The hate is indeed mostly driven by homophobia but particularly by male based homophobia. Two women who can’t or don’t want to gestate seeking a surrogate would certainly stir less people up. It’s the suspision that two men can’t create a safe, stable, nourishing enviornment for a child that drives much of hate as well as bit of misandry and plain ol’ homohobia. However, yes, the combo of renting out a womb as opposed to adopting and a 40 year old man committing to and eventually marrying someone they starting dating when their partner was in their teens are factors that make me uncomfortable. But this idea of “child abuse” or comparing this to The Handmaid’s Tale of absurd. Surrogates have been around for decades.
Donston
Also, two women using a men’s sperm for pregnancy would hardly be this widely criticized, though yes, surrogancy is far more drastic. However, a hetero couple using a surrogate no one cares about. Although this couple makes me uncomfortable, much of the disapproval is definitely driven by homophobia, particularly male-based homophobia. There’s still this idea (even by a lot of openly gay/homo-leaning people) that wanting to have sex with each other and be seen as a couple is fine. But wanting to get married and on top of that start a same-sex headed family is not okay.
dwes09
They met when Daly was 19 and Black was 39. “In their teens” is a trifle disingenuous, as it implies a sheltered individual unable to make decisions regarding their lives. Daly as a competitive athlete clearly would have traveled and been experienced in a way others his age may not, but 19 year-old’s can enlist, can drive, can vote, are well above the age of consent and through most of the history of our species would already be paired and have procreated.
Plus, that kind of age difference in a heterosexual marriage hardly raises eyebrows across the entire religious and political spectrum and it is not uncommon for men Black’s age to marry women even younger.
Comparing this or surrogacy in general to The Handmaid’s Tale is, as you note, absurd. the surrogate here is paid and consenting. But that comparison is a great example of how regressives so often misunderstand media and history (as in claims “1984” was about liberal government rather than authoritarian, or that the democratic party still stands for what it stood for in the 1860’s).
Donston
A 19 year old dating someone in their late 30’s makes me uncomfortable no matter the gender of either partner. It is what it is of course. But I just think it’s lame for someone as accomplished and seemingly self-respecting and mature as Lance-Black (though not particularly talented) to seriously date a teen. And then you place the pressures of marriage and fatherhood on someone in their early 20’s who still seems very much into their careers and very much in the process of maturing. Once again, I have discomfort with that. But that’s my problem not theirs.
Chrisk
@Donston. You’re not the only one. It’s no secret that black loves the teens. Used to be a regular at Bryan singer’s pool parties trolling for teens.
DarkZephyr
Donston, they are two consenting adults who got married. Do you think the age of legal adulthood should be raised higher?
Donston
I stated most of the reasons their relationship makes me uncomfortable and why I’m indifferent to their union, most the reasons. But once again, that’s my problem not theirs. And I’m not condemning them. I’m defending the situation though not neccesarily the people in it.
mujerado
@Chrisk, I’m sure Tom is well aware of whom he married. If he’s happy it’s really irrelevant what the rest of us might think.
Chrisk
@mujerado. I’m not saying anything. Tom of coarse wants some open doors once the 15 minutes are up and DLB is the natural choice.
WillParkinson
Wow… ChrisK, you’re kind of a hateful queen, aren’t you?
jsmu
Soooooooooooooooooo reactionary homophobic hatemongering BIGOTS are nearly as prevalent in the UK as in the US. Not a surprise, considering Brexit. LMAO!
John
I hope Tom Daley His husband and their child live a happy and prospers life and ignore all the hate that may come their way. I suggest leave with no forwarding address be careful who you call friends, you are in a critical moment of getting that child away from all the hate, of which some don’t understand how powerless they are, they don’t care about our soldiers who come home feeling suicidal, cause the home they once knew is full of hateful people. Those hateful people will see their KARMA soon, I’ve seen it happen to some, it’s not a victory, the process is working.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Hateful abhorrent noxious jealous pigs….. So what else is new?
rparnell44
I think their are a lot sick stupid people out there. I hope that you two are not harden by the disgusting comments. I am so proud of you two and I know that you both love your son. Congratulations and best wishes
valentino888
As a gay person, I wish I could support them. The homophobia is disgusting, but so is the breeding. Somewhere out there is an unloved unwanted child who could have had a great life with them– remains still unloved and unwanted. The narcissistic idea of “I MUST see a mini-me running around to feel like a family” is ugly. Our gene pools are not so precious. An adopted kid could carry on our “legacy” as well as any other. Gay people especially should adopt, as we know what it’s like to be over looked and in many cases, be unloved and unwanted.
Apolodorus
The breeding? Jesus Christ dude.
Why do you feel entitled to tell people what to do with their lives and their bodies? It’s legal, their all adults, there is. Contractual framework that protects everyone. The child, according to any analysis in the last 20 years has a high potential of growing up safe and sane.
Do you feel entitled to go tow straight couple and asking them to not have kids and adopt? If so, there is still something wrong with you. But at least you are consistent.
Charlie in Charge
Have you adopted a child? Are you currently planning to adopt a child?
Toofie
Yes, how many children have you adopted?
OzJosh
The ignorance is staggering. “Two males can’t be parents.” Err, even by the most rigid definition, one of them is the biological father. “They’ve ripped this baby from its mother.” None of the posters have any idea of to what extent the mother will be involved. Many surrogates maintain a relationship with the child. “Having a baby is not a right.” Except, of course, when it’s a heterosexual couple and they expect everyone else to subsidise their IVF through health funds, etc. Then it’s a right.
broadshoulder
Mum’s net is particularly vile website. Men having children without women – no wonder these women are ticked off. A woman was used to procreate the child but it will be men who raise it
There’s an extraordinary amount of jealousy in these posts
Tombear
Oh come now ladies. Male me cum! As a group we have been subjected to this type of behavior our whole lives and we adapted. We realize there is a lot of ignorance in the world and move on!
chryso
The issue of Surrogacy is very sensitive even in the LGBT community.
Here in France Gay people barely ask for it to become legal, knowing that not only do we have traditionnal opposants to gay rights against it, but also tons of feminist or lesbian groups, that declare that it is a merchandisation of the woman body and are completely against it.
So basically we have our traditionnal ennemies opposing it, but also some of our traditionnal allies.
And now no one is lobbying for Surrogacy Pregnancy to become legal in France, mostly because gay activists groups are partly composed of opposants, or dont want to offend traditionnal allies.
So what may thing like something completely normal for an American eye, is actually far from being accepted, even in other Western countries.
Sam6969
Agreed!
Besides, this year’s Gay Pride theme in Paris was against homophobia in sports, while some associations wanted it to be about surrogacy, but they could not make their choice prevail. As you wrote, even among LGBTQ we are divided on the question.
Doug
Surrogate mothers have been common for almost a century. I still say if this were a male and a female in the same situation, no one would have blinked an eye. But the simple fact that it’s two males makes it a whole different story. It’s just another reflection of how homophobic so much of America continues to be.
Dickcor
Ignore the homophobes, your deserving of respect as is your child. I’m so happy for the two of you. sending you much love and support.
MaxTaste
Mumsnet is populated by users who are largely irrational.
Babakazoo
So it’s OK to children to be abandoned, abused & neglected by hetero couples, yet it is wrong and abusive to bring a child into a loving, caring family simply because the parents are gay? Where is the logic in that? The Surrogate/birthmother was obviously consenting and willing, so what is the problem? These people need to get down from their high horses and stop interfering in other people’s lives that are absolutely none of their business.
MonkeyMan
I “love” how there are children around the World who live in poverty or are forced into hard labor before they’re even teens, or actually get molested by their parents, yet two rich men buying a child and giving it everything it could ever need and more is somehow the biggest problem in the World today? Go visit the streets of Russia or Brazil if you’re looking to help children in need.
These people are really just jealous of the (rich) kid and its rich dads. That has to be it.
canuckdave
The article title is a little misleading.
Landmark101
It is interesting to note that as much as we view and identify the need to stop stereotypical attitude towards same sex marriage, we need to criticize lovers of same sex to stop treating others bad!!!
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I will advice anyone having similar issues on infidelity to contact this competent and trustworthy hacker. ” P R O V I D E N C E H A C K E R at G M A I L . C O M ”
cosmos1234
What vile, sad, hate filled monsters probably jealous they’re not so popular, no surprises there though going by the vitriol, tell them to go fuck themselves Tom, I would….water off a ducks back…arsed. Congratulations to Tom Daley and Dustin Black