MIRACLE DRUG

Local Canadian Retailer Stocks “Gay Away” Pills, Mortifies Residents

original-gay-pillHere’s a great novelty treat for those thirsty ex-gays to suck on: A pack of “Gay Away” pills, which promise to “cure gayness” and “stop the craving for misbehaving.”

The “penis flavored” candy pills were once available for purchase as a gag gift on the shelves of a “family friendly” store in Gimli, Manitoba. They have since been removed after a 12-year-old girl bought a pack and questioned her parents about the product’s authenticity. Several of the city’s residents, like Mona Johnston, are “mortified” and “embarrassed” that the Gay Away pills were even in the community. “It’s absolutely not right,” she told CBC News, “I don’t support this in any way, shape or form.”

Rachelle Mistelbacher, the owner of the store where the candy was available, apologized and removed the product from shelves following backlash from the community. She maintains it was an “honest mistake” and insists her business does not condone the product’s message.

Laughrat, the Toronto-based company that manufactures Gay Away, has yet to comment on the situation. Must be too busy filling a large order for Bryan Fischer

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23 Comments

  • trusgold

    Brought to you by Bachmann Pharma

  • hyhybt

    Some people just can’t take a joke…

  • boring

    You know what’s in GAY AWAY pills, by the way? Crushed up RUSH albums.

  • marc sfe

    @boring: I was gonna say Kanye.

  • Geoff B

    I gotta say it’s heartening that the community got angry enough to get it taken off the shelves. Says a lot about the people that live there.

  • Jackhoffsky

    “They have since been removed after a 12-year-old girl bought a pack and questioned her parents about the product’s authenticity.”

    Somewhere, someone at that company is laughing their ass off. That right there… it made the joke all worth it. Awesome.

    @Geoff B: I absolutely agree with you.

  • AuntieChrist

    What a great gag gift… I must get some right away in time for Xmas…

  • the other Greg

    “Penis flavored” should have been a clue.

  • AuntieChrist

    Does ANYONE know where to find these…??? I have looked all over…They would make a great stocking stuffer.

  • boring

    @marc sfe: Local *Canadian* retailers. Gotta weave dumb jokes into headlines with finesse.

  • tjr101

    Too funny lol

  • Rockery

    @Jackhoffsky:

    I’m the last person to take things too seriously but how isthat funny?

    It seems like a lesbian 12 year old hoping for this to work. I would hope that was NOT what they were going for…

  • Geoff B

    @AuntieChrist: Try Spencer’s.

  • AuntieChrist

    @Geoff B: Thanks Sweetie. I looked but no luck there either…Sigh :-(

  • tom-ba

    @boring: “Crushed up RUSH albums.”

    Who knew they would be penis flavored?

  • tom-ba

    We will have made real progress on LGBTQ equality when obvious farces like this GayAway product give us the giggles instead of apoplexy.

    Now maybe some brave, if perhaps somewhat warped, gay entrepreneur* can create some retaliation products, and then sneak them into unsuspecting stores and markets across the continent.

    So, to seed feed the field, so to speak, here are some ideas, granted to the Public Domain **ENTIRELY FREE**. Go get ’em, boys and girls!

    FabUGay — GayAway antidote. As it is for our rival product, packaging will be key. Fabulous for FabUGay. I think we should keep the flavoring, though.

    DragMeAway — Instantly become a Drag Queen! Comes in a lipstick applicator that you eat.** Tastes like glitter. The rest is up to you!

    OSnap!Pops– A snack food that secretly turns you gay!*** (Remix of FabUGay and especially tasty gourmet popcorn. Recommend omitting the flavoring agent on this one.) Excellent choice for Holiday and office parties.

    3 for 1. Now that’s a deal!

    ——-
    * I think GayAway was likely made by a gay man. Look at that package design! I mean, it takes intense concentration to get that much goofiness into such a small space. And the attention to detail. Look at that hair!
    ** Shamelessly ripped off from John Waters’ Eat Your Makeup. Sorry, John. If someone ever really makes this product, I promise they will send you a check.
    *** If you were already gay, it makes you gayer, so don’t worry.

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  • tom-ba

    @2eo: And the all-knowing Amazon computer sez:

    “Frequently bought together:

    This item: Talking Gaydar Keychain – Ultimate Gay Detector Adult Novelty $4.99

    PET ROCK with walking leash $7.00”

  • Charles175

    It is fun to laugh at ourselves.

Comments are closed.