MIRACLE DRUG

Local Canadian Retailer Stocks “Gay Away” Pills, Mortifies Residents

original-gay-pillHere’s a great novelty treat for those thirsty ex-gays to suck on: A pack of “Gay Away” pills, which promise to “cure gayness” and “stop the craving for misbehaving.”

The “penis flavored” candy pills were once available for purchase as a gag gift on the shelves of a “family friendly” store in Gimli, Manitoba. They have since been removed after a 12-year-old girl bought a pack and questioned her parents about the product’s authenticity. Several of the city’s residents, like Mona Johnston, are “mortified” and “embarrassed” that the Gay Away pills were even in the community. “It’s absolutely not right,” she told CBC News, “I don’t support this in any way, shape or form.”

Rachelle Mistelbacher, the owner of the store where the candy was available, apologized and removed the product from shelves following backlash from the community. She maintains it was an “honest mistake” and insists her business does not condone the product’s message.

Laughrat, the Toronto-based company that manufactures Gay Away, has yet to comment on the situation. Must be too busy filling a large order for Bryan Fischer