Everyone is in love with the Mueller Brothers, those snazzy gay twins who are designing apps and sites for some of the biggest media entities around. They’re not your run-of-the-mill twinsies, though, who may just look or maybe talk alike. Nate and Kirk Mueller are eerily identical in almost every conceivable way. As the New York Observer notes:
The twins, who are 27 and stand 5’5″, share the same bank account. They share the same calendar. They share the same curriculum vitae. The same sexual orientation (gay), brownstone (Prospect Heights) and taste in boyfriends (“over 30”). They share the same profession, and the same specialty (interactive design). They even, in a manner of speaking, share an identity. Email the Brothers Mueller at their shared account, and the only way to tell which Mueller is responding is by whose name shows up first in the signature: Nate & Kirk versus Kirk & Nate.
While we lust for carbon-copy siblings like the Peters Twins in a carnal way, our inclination toward the Muellers is more highbrow.
We envy their successful careers designing award-winning iPad apps (for clients like Martha Stewart, The New Yorker and the Guggenheim), their natty, matchy-matchy sense of style and their utter commitment to Brooklyn (our borough of choice, too).
But which Mueller to pine for? Are you into slight, gayfaced twinks? Ask for Kirk (at right). Deeper-voiced otters with a little bit of facial hair? You want Nate (below).
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And yes, the brothers even addresses the subject of twincest, albeit in their own twee way:
“It used to upset us a little at first,” Kirk said. “But now we’re very playful with it.”
“My favorite is using ambiguous language,” Nate added.
“They’ll ask questions about us, like do we date the same guy or do you sleep with the same guy,” explained Kirk. “So we’ll purposefully answer, like, ‘Not usually,’ or ‘I don’t know,’ at the same time. Nate will say, ‘Not really,’ and I’ll say, ‘I don’t know.’ It’ll explode their head.”
“And then we walk away,” finished Nate.
Later, they offered a less ambiguous answer by email: “We don’t think there is a need to experiment with something like that when there’s a whole city full of beautiful people.”
As for whether they would date the same man simultaneously, however, they added dryly, “I think it’s the German in us that seeks out efficiency, so what would be more efficient than the both of us dating one person?”
Hear that, men of New York? You can have both of them at once, especially if you are a well-dressed thirtysomething German with a sly sense of humor.
A good resume probably wouldn’t hurt either.
Photos via Facebook
ron
I’m over it before it even began…..
Gregorie
I’m already burnt out. Two is two too many!
CBRad
Go back to Berlin, you snooty Krauts.
rf
creepy
Mike UK
they’re scary!
Mike
They may actually be the antidote to sexy. The bowties are the finishing touch.
butchy
I don’t care if they live or die.
Inspector X
They aren’t even identical!
CBRad
Actually, if the twincest brothers had been running around Berlin in the 1920’s it would be kind of cool, but…..today, it’s just an attention-getting gimmick.
Marie Cohn
Brad Goreski is enough of this sort of thing for America. We don’t more of it.
Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva
Ugh. Bow ties. No.
Lazycrockett
Without the glasses and dressed down they look like porn star Conner Habib.
Mike
I love them.
And for the dipsticks above, I can see why you’d be turned-off … these guys are exceptionally intelligent, funny, and handsome, and, dammit, they’re achieving fame and success because of real talent. They’re totally not your type.
Riker
@Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva: Bow ties are cool.
mike128
It sounds like they might be achieving fame because they are twins and willing to camp it up for an audience that still wants gays to be entertainment.
Evan Mulvihill
@Mike: Co-sign.
Bryan
I’m surprised at the bitterness in the majority of the comments.
Anyways, all I have to say is, it’s quite unfortunate they’re only into older men 🙁
Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva
@Riker: Are they? To me they look affected and weirdly desexualizing. But that’s, admittedly, just me.
Top to Bottom
The reactions to this post just proved my theory accurate:
Gays hate smart gay people.
What is wrong with all of you? Not only are they brilliant, but very pleasant. I chatted with them on Grindr once.
Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva
@Top to Bottom: So you think a dozen comments on Queerty are enough to “prove” a “theory” about homosexuals as a whole? Some “intellectual” you are.
TommyOC
@Riker: So is a nice fez.
As for this article, there are plenty of uber-talented, uber-cute designers out there who, for some reason, aren’t getting attention on queerty. Why is that?
Is it because…
1) They don’t have a twin?
2) They don’t reside in Brooklyn? (Which is “our favorite borough”… whose? The San Francisco-based company that owns you?)
Not “everyone” is in love with people they’ve never heard of. I guess, unless, “everyone” is the self-important Brooklyn set that is so utterly convinced that if you’re not one of them, you’re a nobody.
Over it.
CBRad
@Top to Bottom: Yeah, but you’re probably not from NYC either, so any out-of-towner who moves here you’ll say is “smart” as part of the fantasy.
Riker
@TommyOC: I’m glad someone got the reference. And yes, fezzes are cool as well. And Stetsons.
Top to Bottom
@Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva: Um. Not just this article. Not just this blog. Every time a smart gay is in the news, gay folks pitch a snit. In case you’ve forgotten, you responded to an article about a couple of brilliant guys and their accomplishments by criticizing their fashion sense and sex appeal. Supporting evidence.
@CBRad: Nope. I live here.
Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva
@Top to Bottom: I actually said nothing about them. I talked about bow ties. Which I don’t like on any man.
ron
Just more fame-whores with a publicist.
Mike
LOLZ at the “gays hate smart successful gays” comments. I’m smart and successful and I still don’t like them. What now?
Glenn
Sorry but they look like they’re obnoxious, super high maintenance pain in the ass pretending to have class. Bow-ties at 27, get a life and slide down your “successful unicorn.” Why can’t they afford an apartment in the city with their joint accounts making apps for Martha Stewart?
toferdavid
i think that they are adorable.
mike128
just because you wear a bow tie doesn’t meant you’re smart. or creative for that matter.
sck
As a matter of fact, that are not obnoxious, high maintenance and classless at all. They are approachable, helpful, smart, sensible people that grew up being both gay and twins – which was a lot to deal with. They turned what is a social and cultural burden into an edge to help themselves get noticed in a highly competitive field. Stop being jealous.
Eric
@Top@Top to Bottom: Word, but I think it’s less that we hate smart gays and more that we’re jealous.
@Esculapio Mitiríades Torquemada de la Cueva: Too many quotation marks.