Michael Sam Sees More Racism In Gay Community Than Homophobia In Black Community


Life hasn’t exactly been a cakewalk for Michael Sam since he rocketed to national headlines becoming the first openly gay player to be drafted by the NFL.

But while the NFL hasn’t quite played out like he wanted — perhaps in part due to him coming out — Sam has managed to stay visible through appearances in GQ to Dancing With the Stars.

Most importantly, he sees the value in his choice to challenge homophobia on and off the field.

In an upcoming Attitude cover story, Sam discusses everything from his place as a role model to the problems he sees within the gay community around race.

Read some highlights below:

On the reaction to his coming out:

It was amazing. There was a friend who told me to give his cousin a call – she had tried to commit suicide twice. After she heard my story she promised herself she would never do it. People kill themselves because they can’t handle the pressure and that stress. It’s very sad. If by me living my life, I can save someone, I would do it again.

On racism in the gay community:

It’s terrible. People have told me I’m not gay enough, people have told me I’m not black enough. I don’t know what that means. You want to be accepted by other people but you don’t even accept someone just because of the colour of their skin? I just don’t understand that at all. How are you saying that, ‘oh, I want people to accept me because I’m gay but I don’t accept you because you’re black, or because you’re white or because you’re Asian’.

On homophobia in the black community:

I can only go by my experience and the people I’ve been around. I think it’s more accepting, actually. There are a lot of black, openly gay people. A lot of people have [gay] friends, cousins, brothers, sisters… They have at least one openly gay person, at least it’s more accepting, that’s my experience. People tell me they have family members who are gay and it doesn’t freak them out and no black person ever freaked out at me, ‘oh you’re gay’. None. There are people who are over religious who go, ‘oh, you’re a fag, you’re going to hell.’ That’s everywhere. Ted Cruz is pretty much anti-gay.

The May issue of Attitude is out now digitally and in print in shops.

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  • Jim Randall

    Whenever someone who is non-white doesn’t want to hook up with me, I don’t cry racism. I hate it when someone thinks that you should hook up with them just because they are attracted to you.

    • Amaurys Arias

      That applies to everyone, too many whites think that because you are a person of color… That you are there for the taking.

      And hooking up is not what everyone is talking about.. Why do gay men always go there first?…

      For me the racism has to do with every aspect of our lives in the LGBT community.

    • Jovan E. Comeaux

      That’s not the entire point of this article, but ??️ The way that most guys deny other races is subjective. There’s a way to voice your preferences w/out sounding prejudice.

  • Dave Basora

    And I see players with way more talent than him actually playing in the NFL

  • tdh1980

    [Grabs popcorn and soda and waits for comments section to become an inevitable shit show.]

  • TampaZeke

    This says more about the people he hangs out with than it does about the gay or black communities.

  • Robert Kinzey

    I will date you Michael Sim.

  • Jess Collins

    I totally believe that. I am latin and get told all the time “sorry only into white men”. look at the glbt movies and even porns. most of the biggest stars out there are white.

  • Jeff Frohwein

    I would think that his experiences are unique and anything but typical. I believe that he believes what he says…..but other people will have different experiences.

  • Chip Byas-Ortega

    Sam play better ball and leave the social gay commentary to those of us living in the real world…good luck with that attitude…

  • Andrew Lopez

    The thing is in a few comments I’ve seen only white gays saying that it’s his unique experience.

    There are several reasons why that’s incorrect but the most important one is that white gays do not get to have an opinion on a gay POC’s experiences with racism.

    • Loyd Hawkins

      Sorry, but we all get to have opinions on all sorts of topics that don’t affect us personally. YOU don’t get to tell others that they aren’t allowed an opinion because you say so.

    • Andrew Lopez

      There we go. A black mans experiences with racism are erased because a white man said so.

    • Loyd Hawkins

      Andrew Lopez Way to completely twist my words into something other than what they were. And you don’t have a clue as to my racial makeup, so it’s stupid of you to presume something about someone you don’t even know.

    • Loyd Hawkins

      By the way, as a non-black Hispanic, you’re technically a white guy yourself….

    • Hank Trout

      Fine! Then Sam doesn’t get to comment on my experiences with homophobia in the Black community. Two-way street here, hon.

    • Amaurys Arias

      Here we go again, white guys trying to pretend racism doesn’t exist. Amazing.

    • Stephen Devine

      Oh I see you have awakened the gay white privilege mob! White Gays love to explain things to people of color and how they are wrong about what they are experiencing just so they can prove racism doesn’t exist. #Ironic

    • Stephen Devine

      Hank Trout Really? Thats what you want to add to the conversation, that you are a victim too and therefore he has no valid point? If you think racism is not an issue in the queer community then you are seriously out of touch!

    • Dave Basora

      The man (Michael Sam) is commenting on what his experiences are in the gay community. That’s his right but that’s not a right only he or people of color have. And nobody has the right to dictate who can or can’t speak to the matter…NOBODY.

      For the record yes I believe racism exists to a certain extent in the gay community and I’m limiting that to both what I’ve experienced and seen others close to me go through. And if it’s going to be worked out the only way that can be done is by having an all inclusive discussion. That’s the only way to truly effect real change.

      Or we can just continue having pissing matches and trying to censor others.

    • Stephen Devine

      Dave Basora it is not about censoring in my opinion. The problem i see, which is exactly what happens when any Person of Color says anything about discrimination, white people come out of the wood work to deny and diminish their experiences and try and white-splain it away. This is what we also call white privilege gone very bad. All we need to do is say YES! This exists, what can we do about it. Instead of trying so hard to say NO NO NO that is not true! I don’t see it. It i just bull! Racism exists everywhere and the only way we can stop it and change it is by acknowledging it , hearing people talk about it so we know as a community what is acceptable and what isn’t.

    • Amaurys Arias

      Loyd Hawkins yeah, an ignorant one.

    • Andrew Lopez

      Loyde Hawkins , thinks I’m “technically a white guy” lol wut?

  • Richard Hearlihy

    Not true, but it’s what He thinks.

  • Robusta Capp

    When you’re right…

  • Steve Russell

    Racism is not about who you don’t sleep with. It about how you treat people of other races.

  • Jerimiah Lee Buchanan

    I love it! Not true huh? How come once people meet me regardless of my impeccable record and love of indie do they always go back to thugs smh

  • Joseph C Landis-Midnight

    If only he were actually a good football player. Maybe one of the good players will come out. Looking at you Peyton. Aaron.

  • Stephen Benoit

    Try being gay, over fifty, and over your ideal weight if you really want to see what discrimination in the gay community feels like. Or, even better, try being someone who has lived with HIV for the past twenty plus years.

  • Bob LaBlah

    He has had his fifteen minutes of fame, at least as far as I am concerned. He also brought his downfall on himself with that Oprah interview. Kid, you were NOT and STILL aren’t ready for prime time. Its still not too late for trade school if you need gainful employment. You definitely need a job working by yourself.


  • Airon Cameron

    I’ve noticed it but it changes based on where you are. In San Diego I see it and here it quite often. In LA I never have an issues.

  • Ummmm Yeah

    If he spent less time chasing white boys and more time around black people he would see it.

  • Russell Deason

    There are many gay racists. One need only look to online dating profiles to see it. They all hide behind “preference” but the truth is they are bigots. Gay people are not immune to racism at all and in fact in my experience are some of the worst.

  • Terry Sandy

    He’s still playing for Montreal? I thought they let him go too.

  • Andrew Lopez

    Another thing I’ve seen in the comments here are posts akin too, “try being (fat, old, poz, etc…)”

    Why try to contrast experiences like that instead of working together to work toward a discrimination free community? In that respect you (we) all know what it’s like to feel on the outside at some point or another.

    Never has Michael said that his experiences are worse than anyone else’s.

  • Jesse Santillano

    He’s allowed his opinion. I don’t happen to agree but that’s my experience.

  • Stan Schulz

    Hmmm. Based on all the pics (of Michael Sam) I’ve seen I didn’t even know he knew anyone black. Go figure.

  • oddchild1

    he greatest success of the right has been to define racism as a mere series of interpersonal slights; a racial tit for tat. The reality is that racism isn’t just running around in white hoods or yelling nigger. Racism is social, cultural, economic, institutional, contextual, and systemic. When someone is called a racist, they are being old they are perpetuating and enforcing a culture of oppression against people of color.

  • Tackle

    First off, he looks handsome since he’s got his teeth fixed. And I have not read the article in “attitude” magazine yet, but I do agree with, that there is more [email protected] within the gay community, than there is homophobia in the Black community. I’ve been saying this for yrs. Azealia Banks, noted how gay White men reminded her of a branch of the KKK,with all the [email protected] slurs she received. And remember the so-called gay bashing incident at the NY BBQ Grill restaurant,and all the [email protected]/anti-Black comments directed at the so-called perpetrator who was a non-Black Middle Eastern? And let me guess this about Micheal Sam. Since he and Vito broke up, I’m willing to bet that he’s been on different gay meeting and hook-up sites, unanimously: without his face being shown. And got a full dose of what’s it’s like being a gay Black who exclusively chase after White men. Welcome to the real LGBTQ world Mike:-)

  • oddchild1

    The greatest success of the right has been to define racism as a mere series of interpersonal slights; a racial tit for tat. The reality is that racism isn’t just running around in white hoods. Racism is social, cultural, economic, institutional, contextual, and systemic. When someone is called a racist, they are being old they are perpetuating and enforcing a culture of oppression against people of color.

  • oddchild1

    The greatest success of the right has been to define [email protected] as a mere series of interpersonal slights; a [email protected] tit for tat. The reality is that [email protected] isn’t just running around in white hoods. Racism is social, cultural, economic, institutional, contextual, and systemic. When someone is called a [email protected], they are being old they are perpetuating and enforcing a culture of oppression against people of color.

  • oddchild1

    Apparently writing [email protected] or [email protected] properly spelled gets your post flagged; congratulations Queerty on you hypocrisy.

  • Creig Stearne

    Get off the cross someone else needs the wood!

  • Omega J LaRue

    It’s definitely something that exists.. I’ve experienced it myself when I first started going to Fire Island. Now that I’ve been there for 10 years it happens less but still have experiences.

  • Ummmm Yeah

    @oddchild1: Try the word for what color Sam is. That’s a naughter color and it isn’t allowed.

  • Raymond Saint-Pierre

    Since he left the Montréal Alouettes 5 months ago, just WTF is the point of this as news!?

  • Hun

    Wow, he’s intelligent.

  • Michael Claypoole

    Wonder if he’s been to church lately?

  • tdh1980

    Well, well, well. It didn’t take long for the shit show to start at all. Many of you have the luxury of not believing or agreeing with the lived-in experience of a gay man of color — his level of fame or celebrity aside — because you’re not one of us, so you’ve never had to face what we have. That doesn’t mean, however, that we’re making it up just to make white gay men feel bad because, believe me, we have much bigger things to accomplish besides that. Furthermore, we need to stop framing debates about gay [email protected] within the context of sex and dating and start talking about the structural ways that gay men of color are marginalized by the mainstream. THAT is the core issue.

  • stanhope

    @Jim Randall: dear sister missed the point……..oh forget it

  • Matthew Thompson

    I wish he would just go away he has embarrassed himself and the gay community enough. I myself date men of color always have. Never really thought about it.

    • Mike Johnson

      he’s telling the truth about racism in the gay community it’s been known for years and if you ask any black people other minorities will tell you so he’s telling the truth just look at America

    • Matthew Thompson

      That is the case some of the time I have no doubt.

  • Baba Booey Fafa Fooey

    That’s really odd because I only see interracial gay couples. But, I live in the Midwest so we must be different. I rarely see interracial straight couples, but straight people can do no wrong. Straight people are wonderful and hot and perfect in every way. Gay men are evil and ugly and diseased and everything horrible.

  • Baba Booey Fafa Fooey

    I actually don’t see interracial straight couples at all, and I haven’t for years.

  • Jeff Zolkes

    I don’t sleep with women. Does that make me a misogynist?

  • onthemark

    @Baba Booey Fafa Fooey: Interracial gay couples are MUCH more common in the Midwest! I don’t think that’s your imagination. NYC is more into the creepy “boyfriend twin” thing that Queerty drools over so much.

  • o.codone

    He destroyed his career when he cried like a pussy and kissed his BF the day he was drafted by the Rams. OMG, I was so embarrassed for him. And, he wants to just walk in the locker room like nothing happened. He’s another self centered, all about me, narcissistic gay guy who doesn’t get it. It’s SO all about him that he cannot see himself the way other people see him, a basic requirement for a career in the spotlight. Nobody wants to see a grown man act like that. Ugh.

  • Kangol

    @Stephen Benoit: Add being black or latino to that. Or a woman. You know, intersectional experience is a real thing. Michael Sam’s experience with racism is similar to mine.

    Black, latino, asian american, native american regular people aren’t as homophobic as white gays have been racist over the years, and this goes beyond who you sleep with to how you treat others, and the way the larger system is rigged and how white gay people benefit from it. No black church is as powerful and relentlessly anti-gay as the white Roman Catholic or Mormon or Southern Baptist hierarchies. They hate gays and just won’t let up!

    I do think things are getting somewhat better, though, but they really got off track after the heady post-Stonewall era of the early 1970s, when cross-racial and cross-gender coalitions made gay rights, which we now enjoy, possible.

  • gababy2

    Because if he said the opposite the toxic shithole black twitter would drag him to hell.

  • Kangol

    @Stephen Benoit: Add being black or latino to that. Or a woman. You know, intersectional experience is a real thing. Michael Sam’s experience with racism is similar to mine.

    Black, latino, asian american, native american regular people aren’t as homophobic as white gays have been [email protected] over the years, and this goes beyond who you sleep with to how you treat others, and the way the larger system is rigged and how white gay people benefit from it. No black church is as powerful and relentlessly anti-gay as the white Roman Catholic or Mormon or Southern Baptist hierarchies. They hate gays and just won’t let up!

    I do think things are getting somewhat better, though, but they really got off track after the heady post-Stonewall era of the early 1970s, when cross-racial and cross-gender coalitions made gay rights, which we now enjoy, possible.

    He is and will always be a hero and pioneer. No one can take that away from him!

  • gababy2

    @Andrew Lopez: My poc experience: white gay men treated me better than black people.

  • Norris Rogers

    Just take a look on GRINDR

  • gababy2

    @Russell Deason: And look at twitter: black people using the f word for several times and not being punished fot it.

  • Matt Achine

    Of course the knee-jerk deflectors are out, ignoring the very white agenda of that G in LGBT. It doesn’t have a damn thing to do with white men rejecting Michael Sam. But everything revolves around their approval, so that MUST be his beef. WTF does that have to do with Dan Savage painting blacks with s broad brush of homophobia? Or the endless parade of white strippers & sex workers in the community’s media, giving them all credence and social status befitting someone with an actual accomplishment to their credit? That same media pats itself on the back for the charity of portraying the rest of us as lowly trans/drag ball losers. The hypocrisy is outrageous. Davy Wavy won’t get called out for blabbering in online peep shows when he could make his points fully clothed. Nor will Steve Grand for whining about being hated on as a “hot young white guy,”‘ which is pure BS, pooped in massive clumps. They aren’t hated on, they’re DOTED on relentlessly. And he isn’t even that cute. Don’t tell me that they get your attention for being good at what they do. White strippers always get deference, even though Michael Sam is hotter than both of ’em and you give them a pass for supposed career integrity. In a culture obsessed with sex, the guys befitting a stereotype of the most virile & genitally endowed are avoided. What does that equal? Say it with me: [email protected]!sm. Lots of you love to throw around a doom of just desserts because a black man is supposedly only into white men. Why don’t you drop that horsesh!t for a change and examine why white guys are totally allergic to men of color, if their dating & hookup profiles are any indication? All they ever see is the great white Adonis praised to high heavens, apparently without the intellect to discern attractive qualities in other types.

  • Matt Achine

    @tdh1980: Right on.

  • Sabelmann

    I think its true!The same i noticed here in germanspeaking Europe!

  • Captain Obvious

    LOL I’m glad other people noticed it’s only white men bashing him and disagreeing with his experiences despite the fact that they are not gay men of color and don’t have to think about it. All they did was prove his point.

    If he was saying what they wanted to hear there would be a round of applause. They want Sam to go away but Gus whatever his name is can be spammed all over the internet met with tons of drool by white elder gays. Mmhmm.

  • AtticusBennett

    i completely agree with him.


  • AtticusBennett

    omg. the comments in here. gay black man expresses his experiences as a gay black man. white gay men say “NO! i DISAGREE!”

    you’re white. you’ve never experienced racism. shut up and listen.

  • Amaurys Arias

    It was hart breaking for me when I came in to the LGBT community to realize the lack of acceptance in all aspect of life.
    I quickly realized it was a gay white male world and how purposely they work to keep it that way..
    People of color and woman are basically erase from visibility in the LGBT community, from magazine covers.. To the white male president of HRC Supporting a gay supporting republican with complete disregard for the lack of support of this man for minority and woman’s rights.

    LGBT minority concerns are simply not taken in to consideration in our white male dominated community.

  • gababy2

    @AtticusBennett: I’m not white but have experienced more homophobia from black people than racism from white people. Don’t ignore my experiences.

  • RIGay

    I have witnessed it first hand when I lived in Floriduh. I sang with the Tampon Bay Gay Men’s Chorus and made a really good friend in the chorus who was African American. I am white. I went to ask him out for a date, and was summarily told by others in the chorus that I should date within my race.

    I quit the chorus immediately afterwards.

    It’s a shame that, for a sector of the population that still is hunted out and executed in other parts of the world just for living, that here in the US, we still can’t get past race, gender and body image.

  • AtticusBennett

    @gababy2: there’s no way to verify that you’re not white. it’s simple to ignore the “experiences” of people who hide behind a screen and cannot verify that they are who and what they say they are.

  • Aromaeus

    @tdh1980: Your comment is spot on.

  • Georgie Land

    That’s funny, I see exactly the opposite. I suppose it’s a question of perspective.

  • Denise Hamilton

    I guess you’ve got racists in every color, and sexuality.

  • gababy2

    @AtticusBennett: hahaha so do you prefer to believe i’m faking being a poc to not acknowledge black people can be homophobic like gay men can be racist

  • Stached1

    Of course he would, he’s basically a professional victim/whiner and a mentally ill narcissistic who is butt hurt he is not good enough to play football for any team.

  • Ray Ivey

    Then he hangs out with the wrong homos.

  • Tackle

    @tdh1980: Great comment and insight as usual. And you are absolutely right that the core issue is the marginalization of gay men of color by the mainstream media. But I don’t think that Micheal is talking about the mainstream media. I believe he is specific about [email protected] within the gay community. Which most times has to do with the shallowness and conditioning as to what is considered most desirable… And that mindset does not limit itself to just dating/sexual activity. This mindset affects the way one views, and more importantly, interacts with others who the dominate gay community, sees as less desirable…

  • Stephen Devine

    Of course the gay community, which by the way is every color of the rainbow, has racial issues. Those folks love to say “no offense just my preference” as they screen all black, asians and any non white people out from every talking to them. I mean what will they do when a, clutch pearls, a black guy messages them “hi”!

  • [email protected]

    I agree with Michael Sam 100% on the issue of gay white racism being much more pervasive than black homophobia.

  • tdh1980

    @Tackle: Thank you. I meant the gay mainstream in all of its permutations, not just the media. I know that the media are only representative of those with the resources and power to influence them.

  • Hermes

    My son is biracial, his fiancee is white – I’ve never seen a hint of racism about them in the gay community (Jason is gay) but I have in his mother’s “world” – though to be fair, she has come around mostly and they are in TX… so…

    On the other hand, I’m not widely exposed, so perhaps.

  • Michael J. Murphy

    When your right you are right. I am so tired of Racism in the Gay community –TIRED OF IT! I have been seeing it since I came out back in the late 1980’s. The colors of the rainbow folks!

  • archiesdaddy

    Well, he would say something like that, wouldn’t he? I mean he is not really going to say ‘Yes, blacks are homophobic’, is he? Most black people in the UK(unless they, themselves, are gay, lesbian or whatever) appear flagrantly homophobic. They may not be homophobic but they are not really friendly or accepting and they give the impression of not liking us. ‘Toleration’ is not good enough for me. I do not want black people to ‘accept’ me, anyway, any more than they want me to ‘tolerate’ their presence around me. Black on white racism is rife, as is black homophobia and hatred.

  • Caine

    I must say, I do not give a rat’s behind what Michael Sam sees, says or does.
    Quite frankly, I thought his 15 minutes was ovah when he failed to deliver on the football field. Boo hoo him.

  • Richard Weber Jr

    Are we confusing “discrimination” with “not physically attracted to”?

  • Sansacro

    @AtticusBennett: I agree too, although, as a white dude, I have limited experience with black homophobia. The church, white and black, seems pretty homophobic though. As an educator, I find that young people, while and of color, are less homophobic than racist.

    I do think that the gay community is less racist than the straight community. At least in my experience, I know many many more interracial gay and lesbian couples than I know interracial straight ones. Straight people are much more limited in terms of going outside their race and class.

  • Conor Mahon

    Not where I’m from >_<

  • Kip Lombardo

    give me a break. how in the world can you quantify this?

  • Sweetie Pie

    Outdated story, this guys left Les Alouettes during the Fall…played 3 or 4 games and left the team, and he´s a crappy player. He even had the balls to say that he “didn’t want to play in Canada, anyway” after Montreal opened its doors for him.

    He’s just a crappy football player who happens to be gay and has not realized that his 15 minutes of fame are over.

  • alexwinnco

    Sadly not every gay man is smart or free of prejudice, even within our own group

  • Wilson Ramos

    They are both an issue within the gay community. As a Latino I have experienced both and there is nothing worse than to experience something like that from a group you consider your own people.

  • Stached1

    @Caine: Well said.

  • davidjohng

    The Gay community needs to focus less on issues that divide it and more on issues that are killing it like substance abuse and addictions. It’s pretty sad when the largest attended LGBT community class is AA or the newest recreational drug. What a sad community!

  • DuMaurier

    Well, all we have is our own “personal experience”, and mine pretty much confirms what Sam says. I’m white middle-class, but many of my friendships have been in minority communities and the so-called “underclass”, and it’s not just African-Americans but minorities in general who seem much more laid-back and offhand about “gayness”, and I’m talking guys who are pretty macho and “street”. Casual references to “my uncle who’s gay”, “my brother”, their lesbian cousin, etc. Much less hostility OR self-conscious, anxiously PC “progressivism”; it’s more like shrugging, “What’s the big deal?”

    And while I don’t think it’s “racist” to prefer a certain ethnicity, like any other inner POV we take for granted it comes from somewhere, and it’s not as neutral as preferring rare steak to well-done. It’s at least something to think about.

  • Stached1

    @Sweetie Pie: True, he’s mentally ill and thinks he’s better at everything than he actually is.

  • Justin Palmer

    That’s too bad but it also means more chocolate for me, sooooo ???????

  • DCFarmboy

    And then there is classism.

  • Dennis Soper

    And in related news, the sky is blue.

  • Baba Booey Fafa Fooey

    @onthemark: I know more interracial gay couples than gay couples of the same race.

  • Opine2

    Lets see how this goes.

    Black guy calls Sams a faggot, guy get Sams knuckle sandwich. Result He don’t do it in the first place, hence no homophobia in that community.

    Gay size queen sees Sams, Oh! I do like a bit of ‘black pudding’ It so thick an meaty. Result Sams see racism in that community.

  • robho3

    While what he is saying may be true I really could care less what mr SAMs opinion is on anything. He is very bitter because he couldn’t cut it in the NFL not because he was gay but because he just wasn’t that good a player. I also feel that this racism is prevalent in the straight community too.

  • Baba Booey Fafa Fooey

    It can’t be a few racist individuals, it MUST be an entire community that’s racist. That’s the narrative. Gay men, especially white gay men are vilified, they have AIDS, they’re child molestors, they’re sex obsessed, they’re racist, they’re just an amoral, deplorable type of people. That’s the narrative of ALL gay men. You don’t look at the individual, you claim the ENTIRE community is this way. That’s what MUST be when you describe gay men. Gay people who hate themselves and who project that hate onto other gay men, and straight people who hate gays won’t hear or believe any positivity associated with gay men. It must be all gay men are… , period. Gay people are conditioned to think this way by society.

  • joeyty

    I disagree with Michael Sam’s conclusions overall, but maybe those HAVE been his own experiences so we should give credence to that.

  • Baba Booey Fafa Fooey

    Oops, double post. Sorry!

  • Baba Booey Fafa Fooey

    @davidjohng: This is what I’m talking about. Gay men who project their hate and ignorance onto gay people. Rupaul was just interviewed and he said there was so much self-loathing in the gay community and he is absolutely correct.

  • Damon Strong

    If Michael Sam had never come out he’d be playing in the NFL for the past year.

  • joeyty

    @Baba Booey Fafa Fooey: Maybe in time that will become less-and-less. I hope.

  • missedgle

    Well he’s abousulty correct. I can’t wait to read the whloe article. I’ve never fitted into any community. I’m a
    forty-six black American. It’s always the same old story. I will never be the token black queen friend. I hate that with
    so much passion I had a white friend years ago tell me to my face your better than the other black people you work,speak
    well etc.I was totally ova it,it was such a struggle to be friends with him after ten years I moved on and of course
    in the black community it was almost the same or worse,so ive given up on having gay friends in the white and black
    community,yes it’s so sad but what you gonna do (she by shriee ) lol….MISS Dolly Parton and mr.Kenny Rogers said
    it best ( You can’t make old friends)

  • missedgle

    P.S. I lived in Dallas Tx and I really think the community is divided. We only come together when it’s a homosexuality
    hate crime and then we all go downtown and protest and sing ( We shall overcome ) lol seriously I was transfixed. I was like really? Then we go on with our lives.

  • Hoyt Havel

    Racism, Ageism, fat shaming, the gay community has become a boiling pot of BS. Millennials seem to think everyone owes them something, and that they have it so rough then take advantage of the idea that their peers (older people) busted our asses to let them have the comfort of life that they now take for granted.

    • Andrew Lopez

      What does this have to do with millennials? Racism and discrimination in the gay community have existed before we were born.

  • missedgle

    Being a product of mixed relations. I can see the world from both side’s and after years of thinking. I really
    believed one should stay with their own race for as marriage. It’s really stressful for a mixed children. Okay yall have
    A happy day.

  • missedgle

    @DCFarmboy: oh yea your right about the colorism thats a whole different topic.

  • Daniel-Reader

    Clearly he has never been to Africa.

  • chiedu13

    It’s appalling, but not at all surprising, how easily white men make statements about people of color and our experience when they have no direct knowledge of either. Michael Sam is wrong! Really? How would you know? How from your perch of UNEARNED privilege could you know about his experience with racism in the gay community? And could you possibly know anything about homophobia in the black community when you’re not in the community? I have been supported one hundred percent by my family and am thankful for the love and acceptance I’ve always felt among people of color.

  • Brian

    Michael Sam forgot to mention the black churches and their role in encouraging homophobia.

    He needs to get his head out of the clouds. Stop being a fool, Michael.

  • DarthKitsune

    I think it really depends on who you surround yourself with. Honestly, I’ve faced more homophobia from black people/family members than I have non-black people. Of course it’s not like ‘Kill the gays’ homophobia, more like using homophobic language casually, sort of like my non-black friends and their casual southern racism. Surprisingly, my family is very evolved on trans issues even though we don’t have any {openly} trans people in our family.

    When it comes to racism, living in the south it’s a subtle insidious thing, where certain negative stereotypes are accepted as fact and people see nothing wrong with referring to asian people and businesses by their ethnic slur, or dividing and subdiving the afro-american group by skin color and perceived criminal history/proclivity.

  • Alan David Smith

    at least he said the 1 thing i can understand. he said “my experience” and thats all he can speak to.

  • David Thom

    White gay people do not think black people will go to hell because of the colour of their skin but a large majority of black people think gay people will go to hell, whatever their colour

  • Gay Veteran

    What I find so interesting about the white gay who cries about “black homophobia” is you have no connection to straight black people. Keeping it real and not buying into the “we’re all human” BS. You have NO connection to straight black people. If anything they see you as their oppressor… as the person who continues to benefit from a system of institutionalized racism. Just like straight white people(same race as you) aren’t obligated to not be homophobic. At the end of the day straight black people are still straight people. You want to know who you have a connection to? You guessed it, gay PoC. So how about you concern yourself with the views of the people you belong in this gay community with. When a gay PoC complains of racism in our community, you should care tremendously. You’re connected to gay black people, not straight black people. I blame Dan Savage for this “black homophobia” trope

  • Gay Veteran

    I’m tired of white gays crying about “black homophobia” while they sh*t on the experience of the black gay man. Care about the opinions of black gay men.

  • dre23222

    Not sure about Michael assessments. This is coming from a gay black male. I can say that I think racism is all over. Dont matter if you straight, gay, male or female. Look at the current politics and rallies now. Racism and homophobia are learned behaviors as we all know.

    I think he must be speaking about on dating and hook up sites where someone may mention “no blacks” or something like that.

  • Kevin J Desmond

    I wouldn’t say it’s all racism that’s the problem in our community, I think it’s mostly the bigots in our community that’s the real problem. It’s really sad when a good looking or nicely built guy looks at somebody who not as good looking or well built as him and says you’re nothing to look at. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve seen and heard guys say things like .. I could never date anybody who doesn’t look like me or maybe if you lost like 20lbs you would be somebody I would date. Here’s a clue for you people who think and live like that … what makes you think everybody wants to be with you, also if we all looked the same then where would the difference be. If you want your date or next trick to be just like you … try cloning.

  • Franklin

    I’m willing to bet that most people talking about homophobia in the black community are the kind of people that don’t really associate with very many black people in the first place. Just to be clear your co-worker, black neighbor, or that one friend you made in college doesn’t constitute a significant amount of black people. Black people, and many other people of color, on the other hand come into contact with white people quite regularly and on a daily basis. We are surrounded by your culture, inundated by it. From the time we’re born, we grow having up having to learn about your history, your music, your customs, because you are the standard against which everything else is measured in this country. In fact, the way that many of you are so unwilling to accept as valid the lived experiences of gay men of color, simply based on your not having personally witnessed it, is very telling. It’s like racism can’t exist unless a white person is there to witness it. All that being said, it may stand to reason that even if you feel you haven’t seen many instances of racism in the gay community, maybe just maybe, you might be accept as valid that people of color have, since they are more likely to come into contact with white gay people on a regular basis.

  • chris_clb614

    @Brian: Based on recent legislation in the states of Georgia and North Carolina, don’t some white churches contribute to homophobia?

    @Joseph C Landis-Midnight: Sam won defensive player of the year of the SEC in the season before he was drafted. The alleged “best conference in all of college football” SEC. Prior to being out, he was a projected third to fifth rounder. From that to seventh to last- not a pretty picture.

  • Maude

    I was talking with a black female friend (I am white) one Sunday afternoon over lunch, and as usual, we were talking about ‘getting some or not getting some’ last night…..I told her I had a black ‘trick’ who was nothing special in the sack, but he was a nice guy, and I hoped he would call me.
    My friend accused me of racism because I mentioned that my ‘trick’ was black.
    We are still friends.

  • Franklin

    Also, I don’t understand why people keep turning this into an argument about [email protected] dating preferences. Gay white men could start bedding and dating men of color by the droves tomorrow, and the gay community could still have issues with [email protected] Just because you date and have sex with someone of another [email protected], that doesn’t mean you’re not a [email protected] Just like having sex with men, doesn’t mean you’re not a homophobe. Strom Thurman was [email protected] as hell, yet that didn’t stop him from fathering a black child.

  • Dinodogstar

    (Essay, rambling!) I’m bothered by the dismissive, ignorant, crude, insulting, dull and narrow way some have replied here: To NOT take responsibility for our OWN faults in our OWN community, is to NOT be being honest about the wrongs and the issues within the lgbt community, and especially for us, how that plays-out in the subset Gay Male community. (The PERSONAL attacks writen here are deeply disturbing and shameful, and i’m assuming these are Trump fans as well.)
    *That I ALMOST typed “GWM”, sort of a telling, near-Freudian slip on my part, that would have then supported mine and Sam’s shared belief that racism is alive and well in the gay male community.* (I’m leaving out others, the Bi and Trans here, since I do not feel comfortable speaking to their specific experiences, I do not share.)

    –Michael Sam is NOT directly addressing the small-minded view of “Who gets picked first” game at the gay bar, or “Who gets ‘picked’ in the ‘second or fifth round’ of the draft”, to use an apt footballer metaphor here.

    –He’s NOT talking about HIMSELF here, bitter for not being appreciated as he thinks he should, as some have sort of insultingly stated or suggested in their replies.

    –He’s NOT talking about feeling slighted personally, for not being lusted after or drooled over, though he is both famous and in great physical shape.

    –He IS talking about RACISM, and how that plays out in our own little tight and orderly, stratified gay male world.
    So, RACISM; where to begin? (So many stupid and empty comments, it’s sad to even bother to read some of them. I wonder if this article has made it out into the larger, read,: “Straight”, ‘Mainstream’ news media, based on the hating going on towards Sam.)
    We gay men KNOW VERY well, words DO hurt, and negatively-spun images and talk, destructive gossip and chit-chat/high-school cheerleader/ ‘mean girl’ BS then have led us to be well-practiced in hateful snark and mean sarcasm, our tongues sharpened on our mettle, clad in metal, patched, welded-thick and hardened. Soft, melting center beneath the hard candy-shell.
    Yes, duh, to quote one obvious’Mensa’member here, “Racism IS prevalent in the straight community too.” But we gay men, majority White and Middle Class, acknowledging having lost some denied status by that sexuality, SHOULD then NOT try to make up for that loss through OTHER pathetic, self-elevating ways, AND ESPECIALLY, not by devaluing and dismissing others, to raise our own profile and perceived social standing in contrast. Race is part of the ratings game. To be blunt, the moment any gay guy step into a gay bar, you can hear the “Boys in the Band”-like chorus of ‘mean girl’ snarky bitshes reading the new customer, rating, ranking, judging–all superficial, vicious and spiteful. And like in the larger world, to be Black is to be a second-class citizen, and that’s not something you can simply leave at the gay-bar door, or take to the coat-check room. Points for appearance; taken-away for being not White. Too often, for gay men, a heavy chip on one’s shoulder is not acknowledged, and NOT brushed off, but polished-up to a sheen. Superficiality LIVES on appearance, and the appearance of a Black man is judged less-desirable. When your NOT on the top of the social food-chain, as White men are, and White gay men are very much aware of and feel unfairly slighted for, the jockeying for the next slots gets desperate, cunning and cut-throat. And fur and feathers are gonna fly: A’Midnight Cowboy’ should be White. A police officer too. ‘Frat Boy’ duh, yes. Businessman, fireman, check. Whatever dopey and trite “Village People” male image one can’cop’, will be. Even MORE annoying: if you are attracted to a Black guy, or an Asian guy or Latino guy, stupid and mean queens playfully or truly call you as having some kind of ‘fetish’ or worse, vulgar names like “Rice Queen”, if you happen to either be dating or attracted to Asian men, for example. But that’s just weird, and worse, *de-humanizing* of that minority gay man in question to a color or a character. To be almost shamefully honest here, I had to UN-LEARN my racism and classism; I almost had to LEARN how to be hot for men who are non-White; L.L. Cool J. helped with that. RACISM, and how that plays out in your ‘attraction’ to someone, in INGRAINED, sewn-in with the related racial bias we’ve learned, and sadly too-often, embrace rather than reject. I’ve expanded my horizons, so to speak, from the narrow and biased vision i was raised in.(L.L., if your reading this, or Michael Sam, call me!) Racism like homophobia/heterosexism, is all about insecurity, fear and ignorance. And rather than tackle that, too often we gay White men otherwise NURSE that bias, however childish and petty and transparently of a low-self esteem it reads as. We COULD counter and defy and destroy them instead of simply accepting it as a reality everywhere. One of the negatives of gay male acceptability these days, is that we are no longer AUTOMATICALLY kicked out of the metaphoric White male fraternity on ‘gayness’ alone. So it becomes then multiplied in importance to assert OTHER supposed ‘PLUSES’, through classism, snobbery, “lookism” and racism. We OVER-COMPENSATE thru these OTHER avenues. They are all tied up in that web of biased harm and BS social stratification. (On a side related note, it might be why gay men are so weirdly obsessed with clothing and appearance, as those are pluses to our assumed minuses. And in a world where it’s been not okay to look, we look quickly and savor and idealize that image. Then, with that metaphoric “Manhunt” menu in hand, we consider ordering from the list of flavors and types; “Um, tonight, I think i’m hungry for some Chinese, no, French, or Greek maybe? The Caribbean Jerk Chicken looks good too.
    Sadly, too often, literally and figuratively, we reduce ourselves as individuals and collectively, to just filling out the paperwork-like profile on some metaphoric *Manhunt Profile Questionnaire*. And, if we are HONEST here, to check the boxes, “Asian”, “Black”, “Large-sized” and “short” all are detractors to how we rank ourselves and each other. We then become more or less valued based on those value-rated categories and castes. In effect, the “No Fats, NO fems, NO Asians and No Blacks” is too often in effect.
    –One of the most common things we see in the G&M subset, and I am guilty of this social sin as well, is how we gay men, given our lessened male privilege and social pecking-order, ironically latch-onto status-symbols, class-standing, and maybe more than anything, “LOOKISM”. Though gay men have been ULTRA-conscious about how they are perceived as possibly ‘gay’growing up, and often have jumped into snobbery to over-compensate for our understood and accepted short-comings which aren’t really any at all. Gay White men go completely overboard, and objectify ourselves and each other.
    Despite having all the boxes on some sort of *Manhunt Profile Questionnaire* checked as what is considered most desirable, the “Black” status check mark DOES then sadly and shamefully counter or erase the pluses that otherwise he can claim. Too many of us gay men DO think, pathetically, here, that Michael Sam is smart, sexy, and well-built, a famous young male athlete, but his race DOES knock him down a peg countering his pluses. It’s all complete BULLSCHITTE, but we don’t fight the system on it, but go along with it. And the “LOOKISM” that exists in the gay male culture, also hits gay men more markedly; Michael Sam is a hot package, but that he’s packaged in what some fools metaphorically consider a ‘plain brown paper wrapper’ is sad stuff. If nothing else, if you wanna counter and stop racism, take a cue from Madonna: “Beauty is where you find it.” Appreciate others DIFFERENT from yourself, and STOP trying to organize some lame and hateful pretentious mock-fraternity of Masc, G, W, M ‘s! What Michael Sam IS saying, is that racism as a mindset and cultural phenomena is alive and well within the gay male community. It IS. I think, personally, too often, those who have been directly or indirectly bullied, have not worked through that. Too often, gay White men either embrace that empowering status to bully and put-down others, or they accept it and allow it and abuse themselves. It’s a version of ‘Horizontal Hostility’ that I ALSO LEARNED AT MU / ‘MIZZOU'(!) from a feminist intellectual who explained how that goes down: rather than directing the anger and resentment towards those rally oppressing gay men, we vent it, scapegoat it, play-it-out onto OTHER gay men. B.F. Skinner, the famous psychologist, scientist and behaviorist made this observation of organisms under his well-studied microscope; he applied a painful shock to one and observed,’An organism that has received a painful shock will attempt to pass that on to another like organism. B.F.Skinner then extrapolated into a fair assessment of human interpersonal relationships; rather than the living thing, ‘humans, here, being pizzed at the abuser and oppressor himself, that hate and anger and negative energy is scapegoated onto a similar person in a similar position. WITHIN the gay male world, this is bitshy-ness, hatefulness, destructive gossip and words. Rather than counter, question, or erase the inequality, we oddly, hypocritically ENFORCE it, and continue it along; not fighting the system, but playing along in it. Stop doing it!

  • OzJosh

    All this tells us is that Michael Sam is too confused / deluded / dim to identify the bubble he’s living in. Not that it’s a huge surprise; his trajectory this far certainly suggests he’s not well equipped to deal with the world as it is.

  • Danny

    This is absolutely true, but it’s more than just racism. It’s the generation of “no fats, no fems, no blacks, no Asians” no manners and no tact. It’s sad but I have seen prejudice in minority groups wanting inclusion for themselves but exclude others from their particular culture or subset of society. And even that is not necessarily justified by cultural appropriation. But in the context of dating apps the prejudice is extreme. And it’s not just because of preference.

  • Aromaeus

    @Daniel-Reader: Hey [email protected], Africa is a continent filled with literally hundreds of countries with their own laws and attitudes when it comes to LGBT people. South Africa has had legal SSM longer than the United States and many European countries but apparently all of Africa is a horrible place for LGBT people.

  • Dinodogstar

    @Dinodogstar: Two quick things:
    When I was at MU, “University of Missouri”, Columbia, along with the help of our female faculty advisor who was also lesbian, approached and effectively scored a MU Lesbian and Gay Student Center, now called, I think, the ‘Lgbt Resource Center”.
    This center was the FIRST lgbt student center established in a ‘Southern’ University. (Though we in Missouri tend to think of ourselves as solidly in “The Midwest”, MO was a southern and former confederate state. When this story broke a couple years ago now, I followed it, as both a St. Louis MO resident, MU alum, and local gay guy as well. Missouri, btw, is a’Square State’, a ‘Red State’, a ‘Fly-over State’, if that helps!)
    Michael Sam was NOT a ‘bad player’, a ‘whiner’ or worse as he was called in a few of these comments–If you know anything about football at all, you’d know that a college football player with is credentials, he was the Southeastern Conference Defense Player of the Year, was considered an ‘All-American’ in ranking as well, and PAST players up for the NFL pro draft, had been drafted-selected-much more early-on, and he SHOULD, based SOLELY on that resume, drafted in the FOURTH or FIFTH Draft Round pick, and NOT as the second-to-last player chosen, far later than he SHOULD have been picked. He DID suffer from being “out” CLEARLY, then, if you go by Sam SOLELY on-paper; that he was ALSO and the first ‘out’ gay male player, SHOULD have been HONORED and VALUED as PART of his TOTAL PACKAGE as a player, in the same way we valued Jackie Robinson (The first African-American baseball player, for the Brooklyn Dodgers, I believe it was), or Jim Thorpe, the first (maybe) Native American NFL football player, pro-ball player, and called ‘The Greatest Athlete”, and neither got any supposed ‘preferential treatment’ for being gay, but the OBVIOUS OPPOSITE of that! My (LATE!) St. Louis Rams had Sam Bradford, who has Cherokee Indian ancestry, as did my late mother, a full Cherokee National. To dismiss their lives and accomplishments, Sam, Thorpe, or Robinson, is the very core stuff of racism and prejudice, that those who trash-talked Sam here ironically think they are calling him out on! Michael Sam BARELY was drafted, and he SHOULD have been selected MUCH earlier, as I said, based on his actual credentials. That Sam was ALSO the first out college player up for the pro-ball selection, SHOULD have ADDED and ENHANCED his desirability, and the STATS PROVE THAT!

  • Dinodogstar

    @Dinodogstar: @Dinodogstar: jEEZ, SORRY, but for ME, at least,that WAS a couple ‘quick’comments! Staying on-point, and not being annoyingly verbose and running my mouth, are things i’m working on!

  • Brian

    Racism is common in the black community. Whey else would 95% of them vote for Obama? Why is there rhythmic and urban radio? These are examples of how hypocritical black people can be on the issue of racism.

  • Aromaeus

    @Brian: Go back under your bridge troll, this conversation is for those with more than a second grade understanding of racism.

  • Jeffery Ward

    Gay people are not immune to real world problems, after all, they are just as human as the next guy or gal. That Michael Sam can say that with out recourse on the part of society as a whole, ie: going to jail for being gay, means we have come a long way! Now, what is Mr. Sam doing to promote tolerance in the Gay community? Starting a conversation is one way to advance humanity, Kudos to Michael Sam!

  • southsam7

    @Brian: very true

  • Bob LaBlah

    @Dinodogstar: Consider yourself lucky, Mr. Sams (I find it VERY hard to believe that is not who you are) that you got to write an article disguised as a comment. The majority of us regular readers (many, such as myself, tell people about it who have never heard of it) are so restricted as to how much and what we can say that a lot have abandoned the site altogether.

    Rest assured anything ELSE Queerty prints about you shall go ignored by me. As my Anthropology 101 professor told me “if you can’t bowl them over with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.” You just proved her correct.

  • Realitycheck

    @Brian: people are people, good and bad people in every race and community, for my part I find blacks are actually one the most kind and nice people here in New York, some might be cautious at first because of bad experiences but they will open up big time.

  • Brian

    Some black people are very fair. Some aren’t. It depends on the individual. However, as a culture, black culture is largely homophobic. So is white culture.

    Is there racism in the gay community? Of course there is. However, it is not institutionalized.

  • Matt Achine

    @Bob LaBlah: The only one proving your professor correct is you. LaBlah Blah Blah.

    @Brian: Examples of black hypocrisy or you doing a tap dance to lie because you can’t refute Michael Sam’s observations?

  • Bob LaBlah

    @Matt Achine: At least you had the good sense to change the name this time around.

  • Kangol

    @Dinodogstar: Good points. But Missouri was a Union state (pro-Union in Springfield) that had a Confederate government in exile (in Texas).

  • joeyty

    @Aromaeus: South Africa still is a horrible place for gay folk in black communities. Not so with white South Africans. It might sound [email protected] of me to point that out, but it’s totally true. There’s a huge disparity there. (Though I don’t think Africa should have been brought up to begin with. Michael Sam is talking about the U.S. and Canada, no doubt).

  • joeyty

    Why do arguments about racism in the U.S. always cover black and white, and not Asians or Hispanics ? (Deal with Indians sometime. I admire an awful lot about the high-achieving new Indians and Indian-Americans, but if ever you had [email protected] snobs… !)

  • dave lopes

    This is only a problem for blacks attracted to other races.

    I am a NEGRO only attracted to other negros, so that is a non-issue for me.

    And one of the most insulting and ridiculous term is “People of Color”…lol what the hell is that? don’t all people have color.

    I have nothing in common with other non-whites, yet blacks insist on grouping themselves with them under the umbrella of “people of color”.

    As if our entire existence depends on how we are seen by white people.

  • joeyty

    And why do some people think white people are one big unified mass? There are so many reasons (ethnicity, religion, social status, economic status…) white people hate each other too.

  • Natan Valriz

    Gay white guys all butt hurt ?????

  • joeyty

    @dave lopes: “And one of the most insulting and ridiculous term is “People of Color”…lol what the hell is that? don’t all people have color.” That must have come about as a term only in white majority places, to indicate…… But you’re right that it doesn’t make sense in the long run.

  • Natan Valriz

    Wow amazing. Very interesting. All the white gays commenting have absolutely no idea racism in the gay community is a problem.
    That goes to show the power of white privilege.
    “I guess if it doesn’t happen to me it must not be real and or important because only my kind of experiences count” that’s how y’all sound.

  • Yob Benami

    I know gay people who support Trump. Racism is everywhere.

  • dre23222

    @Brian: First let me say your comment is wrong and misinformed. Racism is common no matter the skin color. Please don’t point that its common in the black community when anyone with common sense can say that statement isn’t true. Don’t matter the skin color, all races will find a way to be ignorant and promote racism and homophobia. Speak on voting, a large amount of blacks voted previously in the past for non black politicians so you really need to step back go look in the mirror and access your mind thinking. It seems this topic kind of hit a nerve and you may got some issues you may need to work out.

  • dre23222

    Another thing I have to say is why in 2016 is racism and homophobia still a issue? I never would understand why in this country. We had some many people fight in the past for this future to be rid of these demons but people insist on trying to bring it to the forefront. I am a black male and I don’t try to look at color. See a person for their character instead of skin appearance.

  • Jeff Braeger

    Bullshit!! Way more homophobia with the black so called Christians.

  • gababy2

    @Matt Achine: Azealia Banks is a good example of black hypocrisy. Also black christians lol there are too many

  • surreal33

    Thank you, Mr Sam, for speaking truth to power. The gay community has reduced black men to big dicks and drug dealers. Which why I choose not to be a part of the gay community. The RACISM within the gay community should not be a surprise because take away the gay component and you have white men who invented the construct of race.

  • Poncho Sanchez

    When is Tim Tebow going to come out?…that will b interesting.

  • martinbakman

    First of all, nice picture of Michael Sam. Looking good. Glad to see him smile.

    Expecting the gay community to be free of [email protected] is a double standard. Gay people have the same faults everyone else has. I don’t blame Michael Sam for be disappointed by it. I know I am.

    I’m glad to hear Michael Sam report that in his experience that black friends and relatives are not h0m0phobic, because the media has taught a different story than that, and frankly all of my black church going coworkers here in LA are against gay rights.

    That most of the collegiate athletes coming out over the last several years are black has done my heart good and made me re-think the media’s message. I see these black gay kids are out and proud! A great message.

  • Keith Viar

    Candy is a good thing

  • Mike Muniz

    unfortunately he’s probably right

  • Merv

    As a white person, I would never pretend to speak about the black experience without having walked a mile in a black person’s shoes. Fortunately, I have literally walked a mile in Michael Jordan’s shoes, so I can say with great confidence that Michael Sam is full of horse pucky!

  • Michael Anthony Cole

    So, what he means is the Grindr boys are flakes, and it must be because of race.
    If Michael Sam can’t get laid, then all is lost.

  • missedgle

    This is one topic that always blows up. I wonder why ( sarcasm) lol
    goodnight y’all.

  • DarkZephyr

    @martinbakman: I feel the same way. Its always disappointing to see racism among white LGBT people. And as many have pointed out, white gay men have no place to tell Michael Sam that they disagree with HIM about his own personal experiences. If he says he has experienced more racism among the LGBT community than than homophobia among the black community, who the hell are we to tell him he is lying? There are certainly plenty of “no blacks” profiles on social apps and dating sites.

  • i43neile

    I think someone’s personal references are okay. You can like whatever you like however the keyword there is “personal”.

    No need to post it on your profile or say it to someone.

    If someone you don’t particularly like messages you or talks to you, be civil about it refuse accordingly. “I’m not available right now.” “I’m seeing someone.” or some white lie would help.

  • Louis

    I like Michael and I understand his point and yes many within this community have espoused racism as well as xenophobia and its appalling period.

    However that being said I can not in all good conscience claim there is less homophobia coming from the african american community that has not been my experience as im sure it hasnt been many others experiences within this community.

    However this also being said that doesnt define all of them who happen to be black nor do the negative and derogatory words and actions of those who identify as LGBT.

    You will find intolerance and ignorance everywhere in this world and that includes sadly the LGBT community in that equation.

    You cant dismiss the comments of us being the F word or so many other negative connotations including telling us to kill ourselves or they want to murder us for what we are and who we love simply because someone is black.

    That reeks of hypocrisy period if someone is persecuted for their race then why would some of these individuals who happen to be black immediately think they can justify their OWN prejudices against us for being LGBT?

    The same equally applies to LGBT people espousing their own brands of prejudice whether it be self loathing or self hating homophobia, racism, anti semitic remarks, or xenophobia .

    It makes anyone regardless of their race, sexual orientation, creed, or nationality look like total hypocrites when they themselves have experienced discrimination and prejudice yet then justify their own brands of it towards others they have a narrowminded and archaic ideology about or against.

    These are my thoughts and these are my opinions I dont expect people to agree but ill still express them nonetheless either way.

  • Drew Conder

    Speaking as a white gay male, I may not be able to completely understand the struggle that other races endure but I do empathize. To say that racism doesn’t exist in the gay community is completely naïve and ignoring the issue is incredibly harmful. The question is, how do we begin this conversation effectively? People are full of bias (conscious or unconscious) and when a finger gets pointed at them it’s easy to go on the defensive. Maybe even more so when a broad blanket statement is being used. For example, saying all gay white males can NEVER understand immediately limits and prohibits further dialogue from happening; I know that most white people (LGBT, straight, male, female) feel frightened to discuss this issue for fear of saying the wrong thing or having something they said perceived in a negative way. Thus, the defensive attitude shows up which further divides and prohibits bridge building. So, the key is to face the ugly truth and start talking about it proactively instead of throwing up more walls and barriers. Can we do it? I think so. But right now too many white people are on the defensive. Step back. Take a walk in another’s shoes. Examine your own life and the life of other white gay men. Then approach this topic with an understanding that while you personally may also encounter bias within the community it is not an “us” against “them” mentality that solves problems. We have to get ugly, honest, and confront the truth head on. It’s not comfortable but it’s what ultimately will lead us to a more inclusive and beautiful community.

  • Sluggo2007

    Typical black thinking. Just like everything else they covet, if they’re attracted to you, they think they can just have you and they become offended when you don’t respond favorably. Wah!!! Wah!!! Wah!!!

  • Billy Budd

    I have fucked guys from all races and colors and I loved them all. I see beauty in all races. I am white but latin. I love asians with their soft skin and beautiful hair, blacks with their muscular bodies and big dicks, handsome white guys, mixed race guys, you name it. I love MEN.

  • Billy Budd

    By the way, my boyfriend is a mixed race guy. Portuguese mixed with African Black. He is 23 years old and I am 42. I love him.

  • machuffin

    I think there is a lot more racism in the gay community than people realize (often in an undercurrent of snark and aggression in comments and action), but you can’t really take his reaction to his experiences as gospel. For others, it may be the other way around, or there may not be much of either kind of intolerance. He has his own experiences and his own impression of them.

  • Richard Crooks

    There is so much Racism is alive and well in the United States and it would seem that the Gay Community would fight against this. Where is the back bone.

  • batesmotel

    I can see that. Can’t tell you many times over the years I’ve gone onto one of those hook up apps like Grindr or Scruff and seen people saying, “White/Athletic only!” Luckily I am white and athletic or no one would pay attention to me at all. It’s your preference to be prejudice though. Michael makes a definite keen observation.

  • pjm1

    Thee are many comments and it is important that the issue of racism
    is discussed. Though, i am not sure the comment section works well — it is

    I would encourage folks to start discussion groups to consider important issues in our
    community. I belong to one in San Francisco — it is free. In the last few years we have
    had some serious discussions about racism in our community — black, Asian, Latino and more.
    We put some real effort into it and everyone learned a great deal. Anyway, is a link to
    our (free) discussion group — every month it is something different. BTW, I am certain
    there is a great deal of racism in the LGBTQ community. This month it monogamy or not.


  • Sluggo2007

    @AtticusBennett: You actually think white people don’t experience racism? You’re more ignorant than I thought you were.

  • missedgle

    In the end just be true to yourself. I can say without a doubt l have no white gay friends and i truly believe my
    left is better off.I prefer to stay with my own beautiful BLACK brothers and Sisters.xoxoxo….I always thought it
    was asunder Micheal was with the skinny cute lily white young Man….

  • Tyrone Johnston

    Topics of this nature incite so much drama. It’s ridiculous. I have no sympathy for Michael Sam. Despite this, color preference is rampant in the gay community. And, it’s not just sexual as so many of you try to assert. It’s in every situation…waiters at restaurants, bartenders at clubs, lack of acknowledgement merely walking down the street. White gay men think that everyone wants to sex them. Though, I do not believe that white gay men believe they are superior. They just want everyone else to believe that they are. In general, white gay men are insecure little boys who choose not to grow up into manhood. It is nearly painful to watch how 40-year old white gay men talk, act, dress, and live. They look like the wicked witch when Dorothy throws the bucket of water on her…they are slowly melting away. Their life cycle is sadly predictable and inevitable. It’s not until they get older that they themselves start complaining about the “isms” of the gay community. And all in good time, they WILL complain. You have to laugh at it all because Karma is Queen B.

    This true post will touch several nerves and I expect to be banned. White gay men can’t stand the truth. The truth hurts them too bad, adds to their overwhelming levels of depression and insecurities, and forces them to display even more exclusive attitudes to pretend that they fit-in and are the most desired. LOL. In the end, they are white men who will NEVER have the power, influence, and stature of STRAIGHT white men. That must suck. A white man, but not quite. Ohhh, that’s a mental head trip. No wonder they are so messed up.

  • Scott Rose

    I can’t speak to Michael Sam’s personal experiences, but his statements about not seeing anti-gay bigotry in black communities is counterfactual.

    While there are many anti-gay people of other skin colors too, Clarence Thomas issues anti-gay decisions at the Supreme Court, Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina is opposed to gay rights and so are Herman Cain and Ben Carson.

    And that’s to say nothing of the Coalition of African-American Pastors, an anti-gay rights group.

    According to data from the Pew Research Center, 55% of Americans overall support same-sex marriage but only 39% of African-Americans do.

    According to the Centers for Disease Control, anti-gay stigma contributes to gay males not getting tested for HIV and therefore, not getting treated if they have it.

    Given that fact, it’s not helpful for Michael Sam to pretend that there’s no anti-gay bigotry among African-Americans.

    Additionally, there are many long-term mixed race black/white gay couples — maybe Michael Sam should meet and talk with some of them, to get out of his little bubble and understand the world better.

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