Michele Bachmann: “I Have The Spirit Of A Pedophiliac, Clown-Faced, Serial Rapist In Me”

America’s sweetheart Michele Bachmann surprised the universe by announcing her Republican presidential candidacy yesterday just before comparing herself to clown-faced serial killer John Wayne Gacy, a man who raped and murdered 33 teenage boys before burying most of them under his house.

You see, Bachmann in her historical prowess meant to compare herself to John Wayne—the white supremacist, draft-dodger who bored generations with his portrayals of stoic cowboys and do-or-die generals—how butch. But that John Wayne grew up in Winterset, Iowa more than three hours away from her Fox News interview in Waterloo, Iowa.

The John Wayne who grew up in Waterloo, Iowa was John Wayne Gacy—a serial rapist and torturer of teenage boys. Whoops.

No word yet on whether the Gacy family will sue Bachmann for defaming his character by comparing herself to him.

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  • Shannon1981

    LMAO this is hysterical. Or rather, it would be, if people wouldn’t still be stupid enoough to vote for this woman.

  • robert in NYC

    The thing is, she IS a clown! To think that some gay oxymoronic republicans will vote for this crazy bitch. found that virtually all of her comments about the economy, among others, were barely true and in many instances, totally wrong. I’d love to see her debate Obama, he’d wipe the floor with her, in a respectful manner of course.

  • christopher di spirito

    There are no words to describe how much I am enjoying watching the 2012 GOP presidential freak show.

    The take away here is, no matter what a spineless, sniveling, Arab Spring-obsessed loser Barack Obama is, I don’t see anyone capable of unseating him on Nov. 3, 2012.

  • gregger

    Daniel, ummmm, you might want to check that draft dodging and white supremacist knocks. Wayne might have been late to the anti-segregation line but all three of his wives were Latinas. Wayne had flat feet and was supposedly declared 4F by the draft board. He also had a torn shoulder from surfing and extensive back injuries from his B-movie and stunt man days. Now as to Gays, Wayne had said he personally didn’t like it (homosexuality) but it was “none of my business.” When his wife Pilar and one of his co-stars were making rude comments about Rock Hudson during the filming of “the Undefeated” in 1969. Wayne blasted both and said, according to Pilar Wayne, “Duke” told the two of them that if it didn’t concern their lives there was nothing to say about it and it was the business of Hudson and the football player that he was involved with on the set.

    I’m not a fan of Wayne or his movies but to see your comments reminds me of my own “intolerant 20’s” when I first worked with Lee Meriwether who had worked with both Wayne and Hudson on that movie. Lee asked me to research the comments that she overheard me make about Wayne. Needless to say I apologized to her for wrongfully insulting her friend.

    Now as to that asshat Bachmann, epic fail should now be referred to as “Bachfail.”

  • Politically Incorrect Thug

    I’m no fan of Bachman, but for those fair-minded individuals out there, Saint Obama has had a number of gaffes, mistakes in facts that the left glosses over with nothing but indignation for anyone who believes the man meant what he said. Obama states there are “Fifty-seven states” and the left says, “Meh, anyone could have made that mistake,” but when someone on the right makes an error in facts, the left does their happy dance while shouting from the rooftops how stupid Republicans are. Can anyone here say, “Double standard”?

  • gregger

    @Politically Incorrect Thug: With the amount of LGBT bashing that Bachmann and her husband have done and continue to do (reparative therapy anyone?) I am content to bash this stupid and evil bitch for every time she makes one of her “gaffes.” She and her soul-less sister (Scarah Palin) who routinely say that the LGT community are not worthy of equality under the Equal Protection Clause in the Constitution as well as making derisive comments while saying that they have “gay friends” or “gay family members.” They are enemies to the LGBT community and deserve our public scorn and ridicule.

  • Daniel Villarreal

    @gregger: I’ve linked the source of my “draft-dodging, white supremacist” claims. His legal draft-dodging happened on account of his studio not wanting to lose him to the war and his white supremacy quotes come directly from an interview he did with Playboy magazine. I appreciate your candor and illumination of Wayne’s Latina spouses and gay-tolerant views. But If I’m in error about the draft-dodging and racism, please lead me to the source and I will dutifully rescind my claims.

  • Politically Incorrect Thug

    @gregger: It depends on your sense of identity. If you’re first and foremost a gay man, then your position is understandable, but I’m first and foremost an American man, so I care less about a presidential candidate’s sense of gay justice than I am their plan for successfully bringing our country back to prosperity. I know, I know, to the gay community this makes me a self-loathing homophobic blah blah blah, but in reality I’m anything but —- I just don’t think gay marriage is the most pressing issue our country is facing.

  • robert in NYC

    Clinton left office with one of the highest net surpluses the country has ever had, a balanced budget, partially as a result of raising taxes on the wealthiest. Enter Bush 41 and 43….result……the economic meltdown and the second worst depression since 1929. Trickle down voodoo reaganesque economic policies haven’t worked and still don’t, nor does allowing corporatists paying next to nothing in taxes while the burden is put on the backs of the middle class. Where were all the jobs created under 8 years of Bush as a result of tax cuts? Remember, it was Bush who first supported the stimulus package, hardly any opposition from his party. Allowing banks to fail would have spelled irreparable economic disaster and a world recession. Workers would have not been paid, in fact the entire commercial systems around the world would have fallen into chaos. Imagine the civil unrest and anarchy that would have ensued had the republicans allowed that to happen.

    If you want Bachmann as president, go ahead, vote for her, but don’t come whining when the shit hits the fan and every gay man and woman in this country is totally disenfranchised under her policies. Does that not remind you of something in Europe from 1939-45? She plans on introducing an amendment to ban same-sex marriage, revoke it in the six states; ban ENDA from coming to passage; overturn the repeal of DADT as well as Roe v. Wade. What will be left will be a theocratic, fascist state, an oligarchy of the corporate wealthy, while discrimination of every kind against gay people will be the law of the land. We’ll end up having to leave the country short of commiting suicide. She’d love that and so too would her followers.

  • Mike in Asheville

    @gregger: @Daniel Villarreal: I think you are each half right.

    Wayne had draft statuses of 3-A (deferment due to family) later 2-A (deferment in the national interest, ie., the pro-war impact of his movies had greater value than another celebrity officer) later 1-A (available for draft) and back to 2-A until after the war.

    Wayne never had a physical deferment, the deferments were based on non-physical reasons. As many Hollywood stars, including Henry Fonda, Clark Gable and Jimmy Stewart, did enlist and/or volunteered their draft, Wayne COULD HAVE joined the military — he didn’t. And under the circumstances, I feel it is fair to label that as draft-dodging. I give this one to Daniel.

    Regarding Wayne’s view of gays, Daniel, Gregger is pretty much correct. I tried to Google this but waaaay toooo many results. Shortly after Wayne’s death, Congress, with the urging of many Hollywood celebrities, approved a National Gold Medal, engraved, “John Wayne, American.” I remember that Elizabeth Taylor, truly a hero to the gay community, testified in support of her longtime friend. In a media interview, I think after her testimony before Congress, Taylor responded to a question about Wayne and his views on homosexuality. Taylor, who referred to another of her very dear friends and Wayne co-star, Rock Hudson. Taylor said, much more eloquently than I can restate, that irrespective of his personal opinions about social issues, Wayne believed wholeheartedly that all Americans deserved the right to live their own lives. As Gregger points out, and Taylor concurred, Wayne did step in to defend others’ private affairs, including gay freinds and associates. I give this one to Gregger.

  • Politically Incorrect Thug

    @Mike in Asheville: Say WHAT?!? A man not joining the army during wartime is a draft-DODGER?!? You mean, like Bill Clinton, during Vietnam? Or that draft-dodging Obama, who didn’t drop everything to join the Gulf War effort in the early nineties? Or are you referring to yourself, who’s not among the ranks of Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable, et al, in joining the military in a time of war? FYI, we were attacked on 9/11, so by your rationale we should ALL have joined the army immediately, less we be labeled draft dodgers, is that it? Your mindless comment is mind-boggling.

  • robert in NYC

    And let’s not exclude John McCain, 5 deferrments!

  • robert in NYC

    My apologies, I meant Dick Cheney, 5 deferrments!

  • robert in NYC

    Another one…In January 1968 Bush (Dubya) was set to graduate from Yale University, making him eligible for the draft and, in all likelihood, service in Vietnam. Bush sought entry into the officer corps of the Texas Air National Guard, which would minimise his chances of being dispatched to Vietnam. Despite scoring low on the entrance exam, Bush was accepted with help from Daddy not to be posted overseas.

  • tjr101

    I can’t help but shake my head at the people who would actually vote for this douche or the self-haters who will come on here and defend her because of their disdain for the “gay left.”

    Michele Bachmann is an indefensible cretin and I so hope that she wins the nomination because it will be a cake walk for Obama. However, judging by how things are shaping up with the right-wingers, it doesn’t matter who the GOP nominates.

  • robert in NYC

    Yet another one. Mitt Romney had initially received a student deferment, then like most other Mormon missionaries had received a ministerial deferment while in France, then got another student deferment. When those ran out, his high number in the December 1969 draft lottery (300) meant he would not be selected. Let’s see how the right wingers handle that one, the gung-ho war mongers who are the republican party.

  • robert in NYC

    tjr101, actually its a good thing those right wing psycho talkers are out there as annoying as they are. Its going to do irreparable damage to the GOP in the long run and diminish their chances of taking control of the Senate. They could actually lose the gains they made in 2010. All of those independents, the largest voting bloc (65% of them support marriage equality) will be totally alienated from them and that’s a good thing. They’re committing political suicide supporting those extremists.

  • the crustybastard

    @robert in NYC: Let’s not forget that Saint Bill Clinton’s name is on the two most appalling pieces of discriminatory legislation in the past half-century.

    Taking that as true, your point becomes that both parties are very, very bad for America.

    Whereupon, I entirely concur.

  • lasatekas

    Haha, that’s funny. Another Sarah Palin. Oh, and she was so proud.

  • robert in NYC

    Bachmann should read the article in Rawstory in regard to a new study conducted by a neurologist based at University College London that conservatives have much larger fear centers in their brains than liberals do. Fascinating stuff.

  • robert in NYC

    No. 18, well, the alternatives, Greens or Civil Libertarians don’t stand a chance of winning the presidency not that I’d want a Civil Libertarian either.

  • Daez

    @Politically Incorrect Thug: Its not about gay marriage. It is about your willingness to be silent as a second class citizen. You are like a Jew opting to elect Hitler because he will be good for the economy. An economy, that if these politicians had there way, you would not be part of anyways because they all SUPPORT work place discrimination against gays and lesbians.

  • robert in NYC

    Daez, well said. You know what these right wingers would say to that? Go find a job where you aren’t discriminated against. So fucking out of touch with reality too. Have you ever asked one of them how they’d get access to health care if they lost their jobs, their income, all their investments, assets, health insurance, homes, possessions, no support from friends or family? They can’t come up with one rational answer.

  • whatswrongwithyou

    If you guys actually trust any politician (left or right) you’re an IDIOT

  • the crustybastard

    @robert in NYC: Yes, and that will be true for as long as people like you believe that being useful idiots for the two main parties means they’re being more useful than idiots.

    I’m not going to vote for a theocrat regardless of party. When it comes to my rights as a person and a citizen, Obama is a theocrat. You cannot deny that, although I’m certain you’re going to attempt to rationalize it.

  • robert in NYC

    Useful idiots? What are you exactly? Who is your non-theocrat who stands a chance of winning the White House in 2012? I’m a Green and I know my party doesn’t stand a chance. So are you a civil libertarian? Ron Paul only polls at 7% of support across the country. There are just as many theocrats among the civil libertarians as there are in the democratic and repbublican parties. Civil libertarians are nothing more than republicans under a different name.

  • tjr101

    @robert in NYC: Those on the far left who call Obama a Republican or even a theocrat are not able to mention a single individual to their liking that is actually electable. They ignore the obvious fact that a person who does not adhere to religion would never get elected in today’s America. America is likely the most puritanical society in the west.
    Obama is probably the least religious president we’ve ever had, calling him a theocrat is quite laughable.

  • DillonS

    LOL You are all aware that ‘Politically Incorrect Thug’ is nothing more than a right wing shill pretending to be gay in order to spew bullshit on boards like this. Why do guys like him make it so obvious?

  • robert in NYC

    trj101, agreed. Its a sad commentary though when an American politician running for the highest office in the land has to be forced to declare a belief system in order to get elected. I don’t know of any other western society where this is a pre-requisite and why would it matter in a society that purports to have no provision for established religion? If you look at how most of the European countries run their election campaigns, its rare to hear any politician invoking religion to be even considered for election. In the UK, its unheard of, in fact would be construed as risible and not taken seriously.

  • the crustybastard

    Obama rationalizations right on schedule.

    Terrific work, guys!

  • gregger

    @Daniel Villarreal: from your own article. “Thus, John Wayne did not illegally “dodge” the draft, but he never took direct positive action toward enlistment.”

  • gregger

    @Politically Incorrect Thug: You are on a QUEER WEBSITE. If you don’t identify as a queer WTF are you here for? Trolling?

    Most of us here refuse to bow down to some stupid c-nt who wants us to go in for reparative therapy. If you do want it, feel free to do so. I don’t think many of us would miss you…

  • Ganondorf


    Beautifully stated, and can only empower Bachmann. It’s the so-called moderates democrats (basically, gay friendly pro choice republicans) who demonize the “far left” and who, arguably, got Obama elected in the first place with lie after lie dolled out about a single payer healthcare legislation, meaningful environmental policy and substantive banking/financial services reform–that will turn away an ever increasing demographic from voting as apathy supplants their belief that a difference can be made, and that obama isn’t just another empty suit who is entirely owned by private interests–a veritable feel good quote machine, venting hot air at bobble headed rubes flocking to stumps. And those who already support Bachmann? It just might be that they’re not supporting her, but loosing a clarion FUCK YOU to the smug “practical” moderate democrats who look down their noses at these primitive theofascist apes who reject biological evolution in favor of the belief that jesus appeared on a burnt piece of toast at breakfast to tell them that everything’s gonna be just fine. That is, they don’t love her so much as despise you. But yeah, you keep telling those “damn far leftists” and “radicals” who were sold a bill of goods in return for the sellout in chief. It’s the practical thing to do.

  • Politically Incorrect Thug

    @gregger: Again, as usual, you cherry-picked my comment. It began “I’m no fan of Bachman,” which, when translated into common sense, means, “I’m no fan of Bachman.” Clear enough? I know you don’t like a dissenting opinion, but don’t jump on my shit for something I never said. Nor am I a Republican, but as someone who paid $52,000 last year in taxes, I believe they have a better grasp on how to solve our economic mess than do the Democrats and the endless parade of blank checks they love handing out.

  • dan4

    “Visiting troops at Fort Drum yesterday, President Obama confused his Medal of Honor recipients, referring to one of the soldiers’ comrades who was killed in combat in Afghanistan as being alive.”

    Last week, the commander in chief, Barry, made his biggest mistake yet when he hurt a fallen soldier, and the soldier’s family, friends and colleagues.

    And THIS is what Queerty chooses to mock and address? Truly pathetic. Way to keep people on the plantation, asshats.

  • Roman

    Seriously. What a flake.

  • Syl

    I’d like it if someone other than Obama was president after 2012. I really would. He’s been a unique mix of incompetent, cowardly, and arrogant, and everything good done by him and his administration has been half-assed, a dollar short and a day late, and often in spite of his own statements and beliefs. Remember, he’s taken 2 years to “evolve” on marriage equality, failed to make any moves against DOMA when he had a majority in both houses and high approval ratings, and still isn’t for for equality, but expect us to fund his reelection when all he’s given us are scraps, and we, like straight Americans, are no better off than we were three years and trillions of dollars ago.

    But better a sane man, no matter how ineffectual, than a wild-eyed lunatic. Better another term of Black Carter, stagnating as we drift along with no real direction, than one term of Christian Caligula who’d push us towards theocracy and national collapse.

  • gregger

    @Politically Incorrect Thug: I never claimed you were a fan of “Bachfail.” Please do not attribute that line of shit to me.

    Your words “It depends on your sense of identity. If you’re first and foremost a gay man, then your position is understandable, but I’m first and foremost an American man, so I care less about a presidential candidate’s sense of gay justice”

    Point; you are on a Queer identified website that is pushing the agenda of equality. The post was on the candidate who has said she would push for “a Constitutional Amendment to ban Same Sex Marriage.”

    The language of your first post was deflection away from the substance of the article and is commonly used as a defense mechanism, more often, by the Republican party. No I did not just call you a Republican. I have not called you anything, I commented on the deflection that you employed in your post which pulled attention away from Bachmann, of whom you are not a fan (I get, I f-cking get it) and on to someone else. Just like a bitter little person did with Queerty’s post on Ben Cohen yesterday and began smearing Cohen to draw attention to Dan Savage, whom he felt that Queerty had “thrown under the bus.” Do you understand this? Daez and I do not agree on most things and yet we basically disagreed with each other about what you wrote.

    BTW, yes Queerty could do a better job of showing how the Obamas have not changed their stance on marriage equality and the shitty and inefficient way that the President has not dealt with DADT.

    ABTW, I don’t give a rat’s ass how much you paid in taxes last year. You were able to do so, be glad that you had that financial ability as many people don’t. You could be living in another country with substantially higher taxes or you could be living under Reagan again when taxes were higher. Federal Taxes are at their lowest point for your bracket since 1932. Check out Wikipedia income tax in the United States since we are not supposed to include links.

    Now as to the Republicans vs Democrats. The Republicans controlled the Federal Legislature from 1995 to 2007. The Republicans controlled the Executive branch from 2001 to 2009. It took President Bush less than two years to wipe out the Federal Budget Surplus and thereby also nuking any chance of cleaning up the nations debt with in the prescribed 15 year period. Both branches sat merrily by and let the Consumer and Commercial Real Estate markets boom and burst, just like the Republicans did with the Stock Market in the 1920’s. The list is seemingly endless of Republican foibles. Yes the Democrats did a great deal of bad government but the near shopaholic spending binge from the Republican party over the previous administration is astounding in its recklessness and callousness toward the average US citizen.

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