New Plan For Winning Marriage Equality: Annoy People With Tacky Accessories

Because the real measure of whether something is a real cause or not is whether there’s a ribbon and/or jelly bracelet attached to it, a bunch of enterprising gays have come up with our very own marriage equality thingamajig: The white knot.

As some have already pointed out, the white knot is horribly irredeemably racist, being white and all. Curse you race-baiting marriage equality knot! Besides, it’s confusing. Does the knot symbolize the union of marriage? Is it a pun on the phrase “Why Not?” Does it represent the thorny, knotted nature of the issue or just the fact that married people get bored of sex and ultimately wind up experimenting with bondage?

Who knows? Who cares? All we know is that the one thing the world does not need more of is annoying self-righteous political fashion accessories.

The idea was inventive thirty years ago when it was first used to show support for AIDS victims, but since then it’s been appropriated by every single last cause in the universe, turning a once powerful statement into an easy way to know who to avoid at cocktail parties.

Did you know that the color white on a ribbon can symbolize adoption, Alzheimer’s disease, bone disease and bone cancer, child exploitation and abuse, diabetes, free Speech, innocence, Multiple Sclerosis, peace, poverty awareness, purity, student sexual assault or victims of terrorism? Well you will, knot-wearers, once someone comes up to you and congratulates you on your support for allowing outspoken, adopted, very, very sick, virgins who’ve been sexually abused by terrorists the right to get hitched. Or you know, kinky.

The site already has blog badges, flyers and a Facebook group, so it’s too late to stop the ribboned masses from smugly showing that they care. Soon we’ll be seeing Rachel Zoe pinning diamond cloisonné white knots onto Debra Messing’s Oscar dress– but we’re not happy about it. I’m afraid not.

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36 Comments

  • Nate

    Although I would never wear one of these, part of me would get really snarky if I had one of these clipped on my jacket.

    Old lady “Oh, what does your pretty ribbon mean?”

    Me: “I want equal marriage rights!! ARRRGH!!!”

  • Jeff

    I didn’t think it was such a horrible idea. The more publicity, the better.

  • fredo777

    I’m a frayed knot.

    Oh, you.

  • Joe Moag

    DAMN! And I was gonna bust out my Frankie Goes to Hollywood shirts and update them. Damn!!!

  • Joe Moag

    How about white hankies in our back pockets? I forget – does that mean I fist or I want to get fisted?

  • Pete

    WOW…the whole tone of this blog has completely changed…almost every post It reads as Snarky and sarcastic…

    Used to be witty and insightfull…too bad.

  • Bob

    Yes, let’s dismiss a tactic that could raise awareness of the issue simply because we like to be bitchy and criticize everything. Sigh …

  • Sam

    Fredo777 :)

  • Joe Moag

    Wait – I remember. White Hanky, left back pocket, means I want get fisted by a Mormon.

  • michael

    I don’t mind the creation of a symbol but maybe they should have
    used rainbow fabric or something, the white fabric is kinda creepy.

  • michael

    what about 2 interlocking cock rings? Now I have to go think up something for our sisters.

  • ILOVEZ

    I’m so posting blog badge on my blog.

  • hughman

    1. It’s a knot because of the common phrase used for marriage to “tie the knot”. Duh.

    2. White is usually a symbol for marriage in dresses, etc.

    3. Thirty years ago, i.e. 1978, the disease wasn’t even called AIDS yet let alone known as a medical disease, talked about or organized against. To say the red ribbon was invented then to show support for people with AIDS is obviously wrong.

    God forbid your lame attempt to snark about anything should get in the way of, you know, actual thought or writing.

  • Ethan

    Why is this a bad idea, in the scheme of things every bit helps…

    Why be so negative about it…

  • fredo777

    @Sam: Hi, Sam.

    Do we know each other from another site?

  • Al Benson

    Legitimate question: Is the new ‘tone’ on this blog because of the change in editorship or from a lack of patience in the aftermath of the losses we suffered. I am hoping its the latter; the last thing we need is cynicism.

  • Darth Paul

    Knots are just a terrible symbol of marriage since it reinforces that idiotic and childish notion that you own your partner and vice versa. Unless you’re in BDSM, there’s nothing loving or even sexy about owning a human.

    This whole affair just smacks of gay-imitating-straight (yet again). Let me know when the gay marriage initiative comes up with something unique and amounting to something else besides outrage and publicity for its own sake.

  • Ethan

    @Al Benson … I hope its the later as well but it kinda shows up in most posts…

  • Chris

    I’m sorry, why is this a terrible idea again? I mean, yes, the Livestrong bracelets have been latched on to as something trendy (as have Genalen bottles and AIDS walks and Live Aid concerts) but that doesn’t make them harmful to the cause of supporting gay marriage. Only not as helpful as something else, something that you don’t suggest. So… kinda gotta call shenanigans on this whole post. I think the ribbons are a good idea (or at least a not bad one).

    Plus, seriously? Racist? Billy Idol must be a real pig.

  • Tim

    @Joe Moag: You made my day Joe!

  • jack

    look… being completely serious here, i am of two minds.

    i like the idea of a asymbol. that said, the ribbon seems pretty corny and derivative.

    i think the criticism is deserved but throwing the IDEA of a solidarity symbol out on that basis is a little “precious” don’t you think?

  • jack

    oh, and don’t pick on the new guy. andy used to piss me off regularly snarking things i believe in. i probably started posting because of that.

  • ahoke

    LULZ at people saying this blog is just now becoming snarky. did you actually read it before?

  • Tim in SF

    Oh, God, THANK YOU for saying this. I saw the White Knot idea on Towel Road this morning and spent at least thirty seconds frozen in ambivalence: Is it lame because it’s an overused symbol, it’s been done (and re-done and re-done), it’s tired and unoriginal, it’s more eighties than Member’s Only jackets, it’s cliched beyond redemption, or because it’s so fucking boring?

    So hard to pick just one. But do I really want to be the bitch who calls this lameness out? No.. not really. So, thanks Queerty, for performing an unpopular but very necessary task. You are the new Richard Blackwell for lame social trends.

    Hey, wanna know how my husband and I symbolize our marriage? BY WEARING OUR WEDDING RINGS.

  • Joe Moag

    @Tim in SF: RIGHT ON!

  • ChristopherM

    I do not want my method of promoting my support for equal marriage rights to be answering questions every five minutes about why I’m wearing a white bow. That’s cute for a five-year-old kindergarten girl, not for grown-ass people.

  • Roland Basque

    I think it’s really cool to be anti-gay.I mean what does “gay” entail?Is it about a bunch of heterophobes trying to advance their own intolerant and narcissistic agenda?Everyone I know enjoys mimicking and making sport of the self absorbed nebbish twits who consider themselves candidates for veneration just because they are so called gay.Nobody really likes queers they just consider them material for great comedy.

  • Roland Basque

    IS there anything queers do beside whining and bellyachin’ about their poor misunderstood plight.Queers know they are an aberration of nature.Yet they try and force feed this pap and piffle about how wonderful they are and how society should grant them there every little wish.What great advances have queers contributed to the well being of all? They live in their own egotistical convuluted world and think the rest of society should worship them.

  • fredo777

    The trolls come out at night.

    The trolls come out at niiiiiiiiight.

  • Jake H.

    oh homegirl… did you just get dumped? you have got some serious sand in your vagina. wash that shit out, baby. feel better, child.

  • Doug

    @fredo777: I see fredo as every single blog spot on queerty has yet to meet your idiotic innuendos.

  • michael

    @Roland Basque: yaaaawn!
    The trolls are so boring and dim tonight. Wake me up when one of them comes up with something thats original, unique and truly inflaming. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

  • fredo777

    @Doug: Wtf are you yammering on about now?

    Don’t bother. On your best day, you’re not on my level when I’m at my worst.

    Adios.

  • Willie Hewes

    Um, yeah. Lame. Sorry.

    It’s not a BAD idea, just not a good one, either. Keep thinking, people. We have to do better than this.

  • Michael vdB

    I don’t know. I can see how this campaign can get confusing with the white theme that the “End Poverty” Campaign has on right now. Besides the fact there are already soooo many ribbons, bracelets, and car decals out there that it just has become ho-drum. Much like the “Baby on Board” signs you see in the back of someone’s car as they cut you off on the highway. I support my positions through dialouge, not some tacky piece of material.

    P.S. Japhy, don’t ever stop posting the fun stuff. I needed more then just a half naked man to lighten my day. PUPPIES! :)

Comments are closed.