Nobody Is Gonna Want to Play Basketball With That Homo Stephon Marbury, Right?

There’s no way to tell how many humiliation victims YouTube has claimed, but we’re going to round down and say it’s at least a seven-figure. Most of the time it’s dumb young people uploading videos of themselves doing dumb young people crap, and since everything on the Internet lasts forever, so too will their mishaps. But when celebrities put themselves on YouTube, it’s a whole different story. Like when Stephon Marbury posted clips of him crying for the camera, a pseudo-documentary of his downfall since being rejected by the Boston Celtics. But it didn’t end there, because another NBA player had to go and call him a homo for tearing up.

Sort of. What Washington Wizards center Brendan Haywood actually said was Marbury is “swinging from both sides of the fence.” So he’s not gay. He’s bi! Which still means Marbury can be assaulted with some homophobia, y’all. IT’s not just YouTube, but also sites like UStream that Marbury has taken to in chronicling his fall from sanity.

After watching the clips, Haywood told an interviewer: “At first it was cool, but after a while it just became disturbing. He’s on YouTube crying with no shirt on for no reason, sweating while his boy’s rubbing his shoulders. What’s that about? That’s like gay porn. I don’t understand it. He’s dancing to a song called ‘Barbie Doll’, doing like stripper moves. I have no idea what’s going on with the guy, it’s almost like he’s trying to end his own career. There’s not a GM out there that would touch Marbury right now… Have you seen the ‘Barbie Doll’ clip? Click on YouTube and go to Barbie Doll. There’s no way any other professional athletes would wanna get dressed around this guy, because you gotta think something is a little, he’s swinging from both sides of the fence.”

Mean! But also: True! The NBA, with all its machismo, probably won’t want Marbury right now. Managers are afraid of the negative (read: gay) buzz he’s attracting, and his teammates will make fun of him in the lockerroom. And this would probably make Marbury cry, cry some more.

As sports types are wont to do, Haywood has apologized for his remarks: “I’ve received some comments and so have the Wizards about it. I just wanted to take a time out and let you know that no disrespect was intended. I was just trying to have fun with a crazy situation. I don’t support or condemn homosexuality and I believe in everyone making choices for themselves. If it doesn’t affect me, I don’t really care. I hope no one was offended because I wasn’t trying to come off like Tim Hardaway.” Yes, that Tim Hardaway.

Thanks for not hating us with a fervor, Mr. Haywood!

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  • ThatguyFromBoston

    Marbury is a big bucket o’ crazy.

  • sal(the original)

    does this guy have any corporate sponsors??i wanna boycott some people …and if nba message is “machismo,straight rule” then all the companies that support that can be on the list to boycott

  • Namaste85

    Marbury is a little crazy for this, not to mention he also filmed the entire event from behind as well. But Haywood is a big dopey idiot. if you cant get dressed in a lockeroom because you think someone is gay, i got news for you my haywood, as a former NCAA division 1 basketball player myself, on a championship team, i can more than assure you that you have gotten dressed in front of a fair share of secret homo’s. My team sure did. so if not knowing makes you feel better then so be it. But rest assured, a gay guy has seen you naked on more than one occasion. dont believe me? watch yourself change in the mirror.

  • Namaste85

    correction: *Mr Haywood(not my)

  • Chitown Kev

    Yes, Stephon Marbury may or may not be gay but he is fo’sure is a drama queen

    As for Brendan Haywood, he can suck on my left nut and kiss the pink part of my ass with his homobigotry.

  • sal(the original)

    “a gay guy has seen you naked on more than one occasion. dont believe me? watch yourself change in the mirror.”lmao!!!!

  • SBK

    Boycotting the NBA? Ridiculous. Some individual players may be idiots, but the NBA is run by incredibly progressive folks, including commissioner David Stern, who might I remind you took swift action to condemn Tim Hardaway’s comment and made it very clear that such language is unacceptable in his league.

  • Kasio Q

    It’s the NBA! They have to be anti-gay, to distract the homoerotic aspect of their game.
    Naked men in the locker room, showering together. Right, nothing gay about that.

  • Disgusted Gay American

    ahh so a man that crys is gay now? Is that the neanderthal thinking of the NBA>? But, its ok to whore around with all different women,cheat on them ,and make babies with them? Ahh I see- thats it.

  • ossurworld

    All NBA players like to dribble those big balls. Don’t even mention shooting on their opponent.

  • hephaestion

    @Kasio Q: Homoerotic aspect of the NBA? What would that be? Gangly, mostly unattractive guys wearing hideously ugly outfits. None of them have any style or intelligence or dignity that I can see. I see nothing erotic about the NBA.

  • tjr101

    I still think Marbury is cute… crazy but cute. Haywood is an ignorant tool and speaks out of his ass.

  • Michael W.

    The NBA is homoerotic? LOL. What is it, the basketball going through the hoop?

    We stretch to see homoeroticism in everything. I’m sure someone out there thinks the “Price is Right” is homoerotic, too.

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