$100,000 Crapper Greeted Like Alien God

Pay Toilet Changes New York Living Forever!

Jim Naugle would shit! New York City yesterday unveiled the big apple’s first pay toilet (seen above, being adored by Dept. of Transportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan, Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe and Deputy Mayor Dan Doctoroff).

The $100,000 throne costs a mere quarter – the same price as the NY Post – and allows the user 15-minutes of pure, unadulterated potty privacy. That seems like an awfully long time, but it is in Madison Square Park, home of the famous – and famously dirty – Shake Shack.

Speaking of long, The New York Times spent a whopping 860 words – and an even lengthier blog post – on the steel shit shrine. Michael Wilson apparently takes his crappers very seriously:

There is no seat to raise or lower, just the wide rim of the bowl, with covers made of tissue available in a dispenser to the side. Sitting down is a leap of faith, like falling backwards into a stranger’s arms at a corporate team-building retreat.

Turns out, it is cold. But once settled, the visitor finds the seat the perfect place to take in the room’s other amenities.

There seem to be as many buttons as on Captain Kirk’s bridge. Red buttons, blue buttons, yellow buttons, black and green buttons. The red ones near the door and toilet call the company for help in an emergency. The yellow calls for “assistance,” presumably something less dire than an emergency, but nonetheless, a situation. Blue flushes.

Black dispenses toilet paper.

The future is here, readers.