PHOTOS: Time sure does fly, don’t it? And there’s no better way to keep track of it than with the 2013 Orthodox Calendar. According to its Facebook page, this is the first time young (alleged) Romanian Orthodox priests and monks have agreed to pose for a calendar. Whether they’re legit or not, we sing their praises: Halleloo!
The calendar also offers some insight into their monastic lives with cheeky descriptions heavy on the innuendo. Don’t delay, though: The first 1,000 calendars include a limited-edition Pussy Riot print promoting freedom of speech, unity and tolerance.
“Vladimir and Yulia are from Ukraine, where they are happy parents of 3 beautiful teenagers. Vitalis plays football and wants to be a doctor like his mother. Timothy dreams of reaching Hollywood and becoming an actor. Paris hopes to embrace the robe and become a priest like his dad.”
“Father Stefan left his village very young to travel to Kourou, Mayotte and Djibouti. Finally, he has returned. Today he is running his church like his body is his temple.”
“Father Daniel has a simple plan to collect enough funds from his church to help needy children in his village. But the size of some men’s projects have made his jaw drop.”
“Brotherly love has never been stronger. Jacob and Esau have been together their entire lives and always take care of one another.”
“Besides God, Father Lazarus has a small passion: painting! He will paint anything he considers beautiful, even if it’s steamy.”
“Father Virgil lives in a small village in Eastern Europe. His parish is probably the smallest ever. Everyone knows one another and nobody has a bad word to say about him. He is so well-regarded that nobody minds helping him with his daily chores.”
“Father Nicolaï is talented—his artistic ability and prolific imagination have always served him and his church well.”
MikeE
Please, please, please tell me that you aren’t serious about actually believing that these guys are anything other than porn models?
Because if you believe that, I have some oceanfront property to sell you in Arizona.
Taliaferro
Come on, do you for even one minute believe these men are anything other than porn models? Do you really think they are ordained priests and celibate monks? And whatare the women doing in the photos. This is a scam and a come on by some clever marketing firm. Are we so desperate for gays to be universal that we will applaud this blatant display or pseudo-sexual activity. Give me an honest porn star calendar any day.
Stevenw
Well this is sexy, funny and sure to piss off the pope, so so far I really can’t see the downside.
dykeventura
LOL… if only priests and nuns were hot…
Charlie in Charge
Oh commenters one and two, there is such a things as “playing along.”
Derek Williams
I BELIEVE!
Tracy
The rear shot is awesome.
Who cares if they are real priests or not?! And if they aren’t, it means you probably wouldn’t want to see real priests naked anyway.
pscheck2
there has to be some ‘angle’ to all of this; but cann’t imagine priests (Eastern Orthodox?) posing for wsensuous and sexually explicit photos!Come on, every one of them are hunks and in the general population of priestly orders, i DOUBT YOU WILL FIND ONE HUNK LET ALONE A DOZEN WITH THOSE bodies and faces that will launch a few hundred gay ships! (If legit, where do I go to convert?!?).
Kris
@Stevenw: AMEN
Aaron
What the french toast?
toren123
Some years ago a calendar was issued in Italy, purporting to present a handsome priest for each month. There were no nudes; there were twelve very handsome (and need I say “hot”) priests in the calendar. And why not! Romanian Orthodox priests can marry, and do. Sadly, this is still today denied priests of the Roman church. Perhaps one day an intelligent and open-minded pope will acknowledge that priests too are human!
pscheck2
@toren123: Remember, priests become priests because they have the ‘calling.’ Therefore, if they felt marriage was more important than dedicating their lives to God, the choice should be made before they commit themselves to Holy Orders. So, if they have these urges after taking their vows, it would behove them to leave the priesthood and get married ( a friend of mine did just that!). The Church is doctrinal(?) and does not rewrite its doctrines to satisfy the failings of human nature!
Caliban
Reality of these pics aside, at least according to those Italian Priest calenders some of them are quite (wastefully) hot. Unfortunately, if you’re old enough to read this you’re probably too old for them.
toren123
To pscheck2: Ah, but I am a member of the ordained clergy! And along with others in that calling (vocation), I have a sense of humor. How simple-minded and judgmental it is of you to overlay on us your understanding of what the moral standards of the priesthood should be! We can laugh. Do you think God doesn’t laugh? Why can’t you?
To Caliban: Since when does age deny appreciation of beauty?
Joetx
@dykeventura: I’ve met a few attractive Catholic priests. I always thought, “What a shame.”
pscheck2
@toren123: I’m sorry my comments were ‘simple minded and judgemental’ and apparently did not ‘dig’ your sense of humor? Tell me, when did you decide you want to get married or are you ogguling the church secretary? ( a little sense of humor on my part).
toren123
The entire Queerty item is done with a sense of humor. And yes, I have been married, and have children and grand-children. Further, there is beauty in the male and the female form, and if those physical forms do not measure up to the often negative standards of society, we might still find beauty in the person.
hotshot70
These are not real priests, I think I recognize the one as a model for one of those “solo” sites. Cannot think of the name, but I am sure I’ve seen the one “de-frocked”! lol
Kasnar
Reminds me of Benetton advertising.
Dawster
I’m not into the whole “brothers/twins” thing, but damn if those two couldn’t convert me.
Praise… whoever this church is – real or fake I don’t care. You know it’s a god inspiring if by the end of the picture set I had a checkbook in my hand without realizing it.
Ken
@Stevenw: Why would the Catholic pope care about Orthodox priests? (Even if he hadn’t given two weeks notice that he was giving up the papacy for lent.)
MuscleModelBlog.com
I must admit that I doubt that they are all priests…if you devote your life to the church, how would you have time to work out and get a body like that?
Aaron
Most o these comments are extremely ignorant…
jdh845
Thank you baby Jesus! Who cares if they are legit priests or not, finally something worthwhile to come out of a church!
scotshot
O satire! Simple, simple satire!……….
manonyme
i absolutely love how one can do A N Y T H I N G these days as long as it is through the medium of a daily, paper pictorial reminder of the date. if it’s for a calendar, then ‘anything goes’. something that is a novelty as we all are tuned to our ‘smart’phones for date/time…
so,it seems some catholics are no longer leaving some things ‘unsaid’; for those pix speak VOLUMES! i guess we shouldn’t be surprised at the new pontiff’s take on sexuality…he knows the inner workings of that ‘secret society’ (gay clergymen)
manonyme
also i feel the need to just randomly throw in the word rectory, here. superfluous, yes, of course – but somehow still needed…
asa
In the old Eastern block men to work physically hard, therefore hard sexy bodies are plenty around to look at.But the church and mentality is still very old fashioned, been there done that…
Nice fetish though! April fools day is still a couple months from now…try is again then
Amen!
richard
…and The Hot Guy in “Sadness”, by ENIGMA was really a MONK !”
robho3
Thats just odd
scott609
How do I order this calendar? I feel a sudden religious conversion coming on. I hope Martin Luther forgives me…