Publicist Tries, Fails To Sell Us Water

Remember last week, when we babbled about our big gay night out and mentioned ditching our TrimWater, which we received in the Fashion Cares gift bag? No? Here’s what we wrote: “…We did get a gift bag, which was clearly suited for our media credentials: shampoo, a gym membership and something called ‘TrimWater,’ which we were too scared to even carry.”

Well, TrimWater’s publicist came across our little blurb and wrote us the following note:

I saw that you found the TrimWater in your gift bags – but don’t be scared!

It’s actually a great tasting low-cal, low-sugar flavored water.

Chris Wile of the Fashion Cares board told me at the event that he was chugging it as they prepped for the evening and it helped him skip dinner! Also, Christian Siriano and Carson Kressly [sic] loved it and we recently sent some product to Perez Hilton at his own request!

On top of that, 10% of all online TrimWater purchases through the summer go directly to Fashion Cares.

I attached a press release and a picture of Christian in all his fabulous glory.

So give it a try, don’t be afraid and get ready to fit into some new leather pants for next year’s event…..

Oh, unnamed publicist, there are so many things wrong with this missive.

First and foremost, we do not aspire to be like Perez Hilton or Carson Kressley. On the contrary. Second, we don’t wear leather pants. They’re tacky. And, on a related note, we don’t need to lose weight. We just need fatter friends.

Read the aforementioned – and outdated – press release, after the jump…

TrimWater makes it Fashionable to Care

Healthy Alternative Beverage joins forces with Jeffrey Fashion Cares
to benefit AIDS Research

New York, NY (April 9, 2008) – Tonight marks the Jeffrey Fashion Cares 2008 annual fundraising extravaganza. The event includes a runway fashion show featuring the hottest designers, cocktails, DJ, and silent and live auction of products from designers such as Prada, Gucci, Diesel, Dolce & Gabbana and more. This year the event is hosted by Jeffrey Kalinsky and Chaired by Dan Rothmann of Dolce & Gabbana, Chris Wile of Prada and Todd Sears of Merrill Lynch–the event will once again benefit Lambda Legal, The Hetrick Martin Institute and Gay Men’s Health Crisis.

When TrimWater founder, David Sackler, heard of this year’s event to be held at Espace he immediately knew he had to be involved. “It’s important to get involved where you can,” he says, “Whatever your expertise there’s always a way to help. I’m glad that my success with TrimWater makes it possible for me to give back to my community and help those in need.”

TrimWater will join Jeffrey Fashion Cares this evening providing beverages to all attendees and will announce a special partnership with the non-profit. Through the summer of 2008, TrimWater will give 10% of all online purchases to Jeffrey Fashion Cares to help raise funds for AIDS research. To purchase please visit and when ordering enter “Jeffrey Fashion Cares” in the NOTES section on the check out page.

TrimWater was created by Lifestyle Beverages Founder David Sackler in response to a need for a low-calorie, low-sugar flavored water alternative for anyone who doesn’t want to sacrifice great taste for staying in shape. After realizing how high-calorie and high sugar drinks such as juices and popular flavored and vitamin enhanced water products add to weight gain, he sought to create a healthier alternative.

“Most of us are taught as children that juice is a vitamin rich, flavorsome alternative to water,” Sackler says, “Similarly, many of the flavored and vitamin enhanced water products now on the market put individuals in danger of weight gain with their high-calorie and high-sugar content. I wanted to create a product that could be consumed on a regular basis that would promote weight loss.”

TrimWater is the ultimate diet drink, with only 10 calories and 3 grams of sugar per bottle, and nutritionally enhanced to help with weight maintenance. TrimWater comes in a myriad of flavors and has no artificial colors, flavors, aspartame, preservatives, or carbonation, but it tastes great with no funky ‘diet aftertaste’.

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  • Maverick69

    What ever happened to plain water?

    No sugar nor low carb.

  • hells kitchen guy

    I really doubt if you got a “gym membership.” Normal swag is a few free days, and expect to get harangued about joining. Still, you can have all the steamroom sex you want and not have to worry about losing your membership money!

  • Craig Shepherd

    I actually tried the TrimWater after the event and it’s surprisingly really good!

    Not to mention it supports the mission of Fashion Cares so come on Queerty – Have a heart!

  • Robguy

    I find the idea of bottled water to be a little silly – unless your tap water sucks, but then if people spent that much money making sure their tap water was so pure… (although bottled water is mostly tap anyway).

  • Si Fraser

    Actually tap water has so much fluoride in it I don’t drink tap water any more. Fluoride, of course, being good for your teeth, but bad for your body.

  • Jack Jett

    I hear Andrew Sullivan uses it as a douche.

  • hisurfer

    Why would anyone want to skip dinner?

    And – geek alert: the US has the cleanest tap water in the world. It is one area where our laws and regulations really do work. Bottled Water is classified as a “food additive,” and is less regulated and generally more contaminated than drinking water.

    Add to that the incredible environmental impact caused by the excess production of polyethylene terephthalate. Recycling does not mitigate this.

    Put down the bottled water, guys. It’s a marketing gimmick, and it’s really fucking bad for the environment.

  • hughman

    putting the name perez hilton in a press release for your product containing the word “trim” – BIG mistake.

  • Bitch Republic

    I bought some Voss bottled water once. I was all excited to see how it tasted since it was THE chic water that all the fashionable people were drinking, but mostly because it came from a glacier in Norway, where I used to live.

    Oddly enough, it tasted identical to the tap water in Salt Lake City were I grew up. But then Salt Lake does have the best tasting municipal water in the country. About a year ago, the Today show actually did a taste test with some sort of professional taste testers and they voted Salt Lake City water as the best tasting of all those they tried.

  • seitan-on-a-stick

    Did you declare and pay taxes on the Gift Bags? McCain’s Tax Raiders will come after you…

  • Patrik

    Just because you can’t pull them off doesn’t make them tacky.

  • andrew

    Rude ticket to Patrik. I literally gasped.

    Back to the vomitorium for me! (Better bring my TrimWater!)

  • retrofit71

    Bitch Republic:

    RE your post: Leather pants are so 1985.
    followed by your website
    That lead us to a site selling graphic printed tee’s which we all used to rock with our trucker hats.. in 2001.

    are you kidding me?

  • kevwyn

    insert vapid stereotypical comment here, its weird that there is so much to say about water,isnt it? so much more interesting than the other topics on this site that are of some merit. but till they have some airbrushed manorexic dead eyed boy attached they dont seem to get much attention. i guess im just a bitter old queen.,,, pass the water its dry on top of the soapbox

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