While the diverse rainbow lettering of our community seems to be growing by the day, LGBTQ is a fairly stable standard bearer.
We even have a sister site named LGBTQNation, so you know it’s serious.
But one of those letters has split personalities. We usually think of the “Q” for queer, but it can also mean questioning, something most of us were at one point in our lives.
Questioning is a challenging place to be; it is by very definition uncertain.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Below, we hear from guys on Whisper who fall in that camp.
Here’s how they’re getting along:
bottom250
I love men. No questioning here. Men belong in me this I know.
thisisnotreal
Call me cold hearted but I still use LGBT. people have made the case before that transgender isn’t a sexual orientation and therefore shouldn’t be added to the acronym but it’s never bothered me. The one that DOES bother me is adding “questioning” to this list. People who are questioning their sexuality are undeclared at best, they are not labeling themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or asexual just yet. and last time I checked undeclared isn’t an official sexuality. People who are undeclared in their sexuality don’t need to fight for marriage equality, or face the level of social stigma that the rest of the lgbt community does so why should we tack them onto our acronym as if they share our struggle and battles?
questioning shouldn’t be added to any acronym because it isn’t a sexuality, it’s an undeclared or unconfirmed sexuality. People that label themselves as questioning should first figure out who and what they are before they can claim to be a part of any community. I’m sure there are people out there that have labeled themselves as part of the LGBT community, only to decide that they are in fact heterosexual and join the straight community. That only furthers the belief that homosexuality is a choice and can be changed and it also continues to hurt people who are legitimately bisexual and are faced with struggle of bi-erasure or the whole concept of “bi now gay later” I’m fine with the Q standing for queer ( even though I can’t fully wrap my head around its meaning and it feels a little special snowflake to me) but in my humble opinion it should not stand for questioning if it’s going to be included in our growing community.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
I’m team confused as fuck and riddled with contradictions and weird unexpected byways and tangled woods and rabbit holes (not literally) and totally undatable because of it and actually secretly quite happy about that..maybe. Or maybe not. I’m not sure. Aptly.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
@Baba Booey Fafa Fooey will always love me tho..so there’s that.
Josh447
I’ve always thought there’s LGBT, and then there’s Q. Huh? Never researched what it was but “questioning” is not an orientation, and it therefore should be dropped as a public notation. Though it could stand on its own if one wants to go there. It is confusing since the LGBT was set for orientation, nothing more. Ohhh, details.
etseq
LOL – Queerty trolling what amounts to internet fanfiction.
Also, “questioning” isnt a real identity despite what the tumblr kids think – if we went by the crap that was published on tumblr we’d have “otherkin” so find me a supernatural shapeshifter and we can talk.
Dave Downunder
@thisisnotreal: I agree with your comments concerning Questioning not being an orientation so therefore should not be included in an acronym but unlike you I am not comfortable with the use of the term Queer. I too am unsure what it is supposed to represent when used in LGBTQ. The definition of the word queer is something that is odd or abnormal and I do not view myself that way at all. I actually find the word queer more offensive than poofter or faggot and would love dearly for it to be removed from the LGBT acronym.
DarkZephyr
Being confused about your sexuality can happen. I truly felt bi til I was about 15. Men and women both turned me on like you wouldn’t believe. But then after 15 my attraction to women seemed to die on the vine. But I thought I had that all figured out by 19 years of age, I was definitely gay! And then at 33, I wondered if I was bi after all and was totally confused again. This was because I was ignorant about trans people and found myself every bit as attracted to trans men as I am to cis men. I now know a lot better. Still gay! But being confused can happen to anyone and it’s not that fun.
thisisnotreal
@Dave Downunder: honestly I’m not super in love with the term queer either. In the southern part of the USA queer arose as a derogatory term for homosexuals and many of my relatives from down that way still use the term quite often. But I suppose it does serve its purpose as an all encompassing word for anything that is outside the normal black and white of sexuality and gender. But as for it being an offensive word, personally I wouldn’t be offended by being called queer. Up until a few years ago and admittedly still to a degree now the term faggot still bothers me. If I’m called a fag or faggot by another gay person it usually never bothers me because I feel like the person saying it understands the struggles and hardships we all go through, but if it comes from someone who isn’t part of the LGBT community my gut reaction is to always take it as a severe insult and to react with severe anger at the person.
I’ve heard so many gay people say that we all need to stop being offended by the term fag or faggot and stop giving that word so much power over us but that’s easier said than done when you know how the other person intended it. I’ve taken to calling my other gay friends fag once in a while as a sort of term of endearment and it has helped me not to cringe nearly as much as I used to whenever someone around me used that word. I guess to each his own
Goforit
This is one of the oddest comment sections that I have come across here on Queerty. First, the words queer, fag, faggot, poofter, fairy (except when referring to a forest nymph) homo, etc. are all derogatory. They have been used throughout history as a means to inflict hurt and humiliation. They have always been offensive and for me they always will be. If you wish to use them in your own little clicks, be my guest. But use any of them around me and you only get ONE civil warning not to do so. Nobody has the right to tell me or anyone else what they are allowed to be offended by. Secondly. Just who decided that inclusion into the LGBTQ…… acronym is restricted to people with a declared sexual orientation? I thought we were a group that banded together to lend help, love and support to anyone who is being marginalized and oppressed. Thereby becoming stronger as our numbers swelled. By the previous comments it looks like the LGB part of the acronym are acting just like the republican party. “I’ve got mine. Go get your own. Membership is closed” I am truly disappointed in you all.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
I hate this identifarianism culture wherein labels multiply exponentially at the speed of some Millennial snowflake’s rate of specialness x attention seeking x capriciousness. Sexual labels remain a practical and political necessity — let’s keep it as simple as possible. To expect ANY label to be anything more than a simplistic, imprecise, lowest common denominator, shorthand signifier replete with internal contradictions and some degree of mutability — rather than some sacred container for your soul — is silly and unworthy of the butthurtification.
robho3
LGBTQLMNOPXYZ ….. I mean really???
Tobi
@Goforit: I’m fine with homo as it’s just a truncation, as are bi and hetro. I much prefer it to “gay” which historically infers I’m a superficial partygoer mincing about with a limp wrist constantly demanding pink gins!
ErikO
I’m bisexual but I have questioned my sexuality in the past as a lot of people have. I know gay identified men who are actually bisexual who did not freak out when they have had sexual attraction to women.
Josh447
Though I don’t think “questioning” fits, as ‘we’re here we’re questioning, get over it!’ trends to lift an eyebrow, I certainly have empathy for those who question their sexual orientation. I’m supposing that can be as brutal as any other deep confusion.
Like simply “not fitting in” can be a huge confusion for kids.
I’d say go with the hormones whatever they are telling you and be good with it, but I’m not completely versed on the issue just like a straight guy can’t imagine what its like being gay. Lots of boulders out/or in there. Try being a victim of sexual abuse by a parent: there is no deeper confusion than that.
Josh447
Phone correction: “We’re here, we’re questioning, get used to it!’
frenchjr25
Historically ‘Q’ has always stood for “questioning” – not “queer”. This is why people keep trying to add other letters.
gaym50ish
Pretty soon we well have the whole alphabet. I have seen LGBTQIA, adding “intersex’ and “allies.” By why? Is there something about “allies” that invites the kind of discrimination that gay people are exposed to? And if Q is defined as “queer,” isn’t that redundant — is it any different from G and L?
As for why anyone would be questioning, why is that so hard to understand? Kinsey established his six-point scale of sexuality more than 60 years ago, with zero equating to completely hetero and six being completely gay. There are many more people somewhere in between than there at the extreme ends of the scale. Finding out where you are on that scale may require a few experiments and maybe even a marriage and children before settling into the gay life. I think we were ALL “questioning” at some point in our lives.
DCguy
If LGBTs weren’t targeted with bigotry would these people be “Questioning”?
Are they REALLY questioning their sexuality or are they more likely questioning if they can deal with the fallout of what they already know about themselves.
Josh447
Not “all” of us question. I never have and don’t know anyone that has.