Multiple studies say hate crimes are increasing, but there’s little advice on what to actually do if you’re targeted by a violent bigot. Carolyne Haycraft, an instructor who teaches an LGBTQ self-defense course, suggests the following (possibly life-saving) tips:
1. Tell friends where you’re going.
It’s smart to either invite friends along or tell them where you’re going for the evening. Providing names of where you’ll be and who you’ll be with will help them respond more quickly if you get into trouble.
2. Be aware of your surroundings.
If you’re in an unfamiliar neighborhood or venue, keep an eye out for “potential dangers, safe spaces and allies,” Haycraft says.
Identify alleys and other hidden spaces where attackers could privately attack you; locate exits, people and other businesses (like bars, apartment buildings and restaurants) that you could turn to if you need to escape; and if possible, stay in well-lit areas.
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Also remember: Alcohol and other drugs affect your awareness, so do your best to stay calm and sharp to make smart moves rather than react badly out of fear.
3. Use your voice!
Not all of us are used to shouting, especially women and femme men. But Haycraft suggests using your loud voice to disorient your bully or let others know you’re in trouble.
Alert others and make a scene by shouting that you don’t want to fight. Ask specific bystanders to contact the police, negotiate with your attacker or create “cognitive dissonance” by shouting something weird like, “I’m not gay! Why are you hitting on me?”
The split second of confusion you create could give you just enough time to escape.
4. If you’re attacked…
… you don’t necessarily have to fight. (In fact, it could make things worse, especially if cops or others think you’re the assailant.) So putting distance between yourself and your attacker is a good starting strategy.
If it comes to blows, anything can be used as a weapon: Throw a jacket or drink at them, use your backpack as a shield, grip your keys between your fingers for claw-like slashing or use your elbows, legs and hands to push, swing and gouge (especially at your attacker’s vulnerable spots: their eyes, nose, throat, genitals or the top of the foot.)
Related: This gay student’s family is fighting a major corporation over a suspected gaybashing
5. If you can’t escape or fight back…
If you can’t escape or fight back, Haycraft suggests taking a defensive posture “putting your hands on your forehead, elbows pointed down at your sides and knees up to protect your organs.”
But even then, she says to keep your eyes open for a possible exit and speaking aloud to negotiate an end to the attack. She also suggests some additional books and things to keep in mind if you’re ever attacked.
@HarryB at q-meet.us
Really good advice. But all mentioned ideas are well known.
Rock-N-RollHS
by you, biatch, maybe. Doesn’t hurt to re-educate and remind.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
A Long time ago I was cornered by 4 smcubags getting into my car leaving a Gay bar.
If you really want to learn some effective defense moves look at some Aikido videos. It’s a martial arts practice which uses leverage to get the advantage over an attacker.
By grabbing an incoming punch or knife and reverseing the momentum one can easily spin an attacker around using their body weight to wind up on top of them with their arm twisted backwards giving you the absolute control and ability to actually break ones arm off and thus use it as a weapon on other attackers. Along with the shock aspect, the break of the bone is sharp providing you
literally with a jagged edged spear because the bone break is so traumatic.
One of the four took a swing at me. Within a nanosecond using the move, I had him on the ground and the three others were still approaching. I shouted if they step closer their friend would lose his arm. One approached and I did exactly as I said I would. They continued the appoach, I jabbed one in the gut and penetrated his abdominal cavity. The other two were so freaked by the insanity they just witnessed out as I approached them and absolutely unable to process what just occurred they ran.
A police car arrived and I explained what happened. One pulled me aside and thanked me for protecting “us” explained they were involved in multiple Gay (or as the haters called it fag) bashing incidents. This was before the era of survilllance cameras everywhere. He told me to scram and they both thanked me for my service and the other one commented “looking like they picked the wrong Fag to bash”…
Brian
I’m sorry, are you really saying that you tore off somebody’s arm, used the broken bone at the end of the torn off arm to stab another guy in the stomach, and when the cops got there they told you to “scram”? Because that obviously didn’t happen.
Toofie
It’s fun when you crib a Liam Nelson movie as a real story that happened!
Brian
Is that from q movie? Thank God, I thought someone was really trying to claim doing this.
I’ve never watched a Liam Neeson action movie so the joke went right over my head.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
:-p
However the part about Aikido is very true, and well worth looking at some of the videos!
blackwingbear
Shoot them directly in the forehead. It’s self-defense.
Rock-N-RollHS
Is that Stanley Tucci as the “basher!” I would just offer to blow him!
Brian
6. Make sure you don’t drop your sandwich.
surreal33
Become a gun owner and if anyone say slightly sideways bust a cap in their ass.
Morrisson
I summon my spirit guide and he bestows upon me the powers of Jussie Smollets ‘I fought back’ avatar. Using these powers I assume my ultimate form, ‘the gay Tupac’ i then beat them with an uneaten Subway meatball foot long.
sydboy007
He he. I think I know how jussie keep his foot long through his alleged assault.
sydboy007
This could be applicable for anyone wearing a MAGA cap, especially those under 18 or over 65. So many hateful people out there unable to accept the views of others or how they wish to live their lives. When did the spirit of live and let live die in the USA?
If you disagree, please explain how it’s right to assault someone wearing a maga cap but is wrong to assault someone who is gay.
rand503
These are all excellent tips, even if you are just being mugged. I was mugged once — a guy came up from behind and claimed he had a gun (I don’t think he did, but I’m not going to argue). He told me to pull out my wallet and take out the money, which I did. Then told me to get on all fours and stay there, which I did (that felt humiliating, actually). He ran off, so I was lucky — only lost about $50.
The problem is that in the heat of the moment, are you going to think of all the things you should do? Probably not. I think it would be best to take a training course so that you can practice self defense. This would help you react better, prove to yourself that you CAN defend yourself, and work through various scenarios.
Sometimes when I am feeling uncomforatable, I think to myself what would I do? I grab my keys so I can use them as defense if I need them, I think if I can scream or act crazy to disorient any potential people. And so on. The point is to be prepared. If they have the advantage of surprise, you are at a huge disadvantage. Always be aware that anything could happen.
bobby1234
All of that advice sounds great, until you’re the one actually confronted in a hostile situation and then you have no true idea how you will react.
I worked at an “A” warehouse facility and a friend of someone else working there, who was in training for a supervisor position, assaulted me in the parking lot after a shift. I was with two people/co-workers. This person targeted me, sprayed me with mace, called me many many homophobic slurs, threatened to have me beat up, and antagonized me into an argument. They probably assaulted me for at least five minutes while the two people I was with stood there in disbelief. Eventually, I pushed back. I swore back, said a lot of nasty things and retaliated. What can anyone expect? In this situation, I could’ve went high but I went low. I was attacked, under extreme stress in a hostile situation. I was maced, called a f*ggot numerous times, told to “come on and fight – [I’ll] go to jail and get f*cked in the *ss and like it because [I’m a] f*ggot” and all kinds of other hate speech. The best part is the person who assaulted me turned around and went inside, lied to management and HR and told them I started the fight. Even though I had witnesses to my defense, “A” fired me (and supposedly the other person, but again mind you this was a friend of theirs). 2 years later, they still have me on their files as someone who “broke policy” and “can never be rehired” – the “A” company never gave me an explanation, never told me what or how they reached their conclusions. I emailed a “higher up” in HR who simply asked the management on the scene for records of the account. Very difficult to prove a point or your case, or show humanity when one higher entity fabricates information, omits information, or covers for another higher entity. They expected me turn around and go inside and tell them, “hey your friend outside is macing me and threatening me and calling me a f*ggot… please help…” Let’s get real. I was setup. And the only reason they hire so much is because they fire so much. I worked for them again two years later, through a temp agency. The boss wanted to make me a legit employee and possibly promote me – when they pulled my info they said no it can’t be done. Discrimination at its worse: cover-ups.
Homophobia is alive and well and quite possibly the last and truest form of prejudice among us today.